Vagina Dentata

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Rats can't throw up, so rat poison has lots of throw-up stuff in it so that if little Timmy gets at it, he just upchucks and moves on to the detergent next to it. But your fear of vomiting at all would work against you. Particularly if you've decided to clamp your jaw.

Not, of course, that I need to kill you at all. It's just a mental note.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 14:53 (twenty years ago) link

But alix, do you ever freak out just riding in a car that the door will swing open and your feet will slip out and you'll be forced to run along the side of the car to keep your body from being dragged?

Or if you're driving, do you freak out that you might all of a sudden make yourself swerve and crash into a tree?

These irrational fears brought to you by my mind. Thank you.

Sarah MCLusky (coco), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 14:54 (twenty years ago) link

But does no one else suddenly get worried that they'lll throw up when they're with people? It would be really embarrassing

George Bush Sr. to thread.

o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 14:57 (twenty years ago) link

Or if you're driving, do you freak out that you might all of a sudden make yourself swerve and crash into a tree?

yep i do!

minna (minna), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 14:59 (twenty years ago) link

Awesome!

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 15:02 (twenty years ago) link

I just get scared that cars will crash, I don't drive, and I'm hardly ever in a car. I don't really like being in them much. I'm not very good with cliffs either. I want to jump off them. Perhaps I should try extreme sports. Horses can't vomit either. But I don't think you could get your hands on any Horse Poison...

alix (alix), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 15:04 (twenty years ago) link

My Dad always used to tell me that Canestan was "Mummy's special toothpaste"

Unfortunately I had just taken a swig of tea before reading the above. 10 minutes wasted cleaning the monitor!

Mooro (Mooro), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 15:18 (twenty years ago) link

The use of always there should not be taken literally. I mean he did have other great lies he told me too.

I always wondered about the toothbrush without bristles. How would that get rid or plaque, let alone tartar.

Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 15:37 (twenty years ago) link

i used to be somewhat paranoid about vomiting but that's gone now

ron (ron), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

Wait! There is a phrase "gobble gobble down below"?

Cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 16:36 (twenty years ago) link

"Wasn't this a song from The Lion King?"

Loin king, surely?

jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 16:52 (twenty years ago) link

Surely there should be more fear that a laydee might accidentally get lockjaw whilst giving you a blowjob and bite your cock off with her non vagina teeth? Now I'm paranoid that *I'll* do that to some poor man.

Remind me never to, etc.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 17:33 (twenty years ago) link

the woman was so freaked out that her vaginal muscles contracted so much that she trapped the man's penis inside her causing her to freak out more and start screaming....I feel like I have read that this is an urban legend.

There are no confirmed cases of this happening (one 19th-century citation, but I believe that has been proven to be a hoax), but the meme sure as hell won't die. It seems to be rooted in some men's notions that sexual attraction to women somehow makes them vulnerable. These men perceive the vagina as dangerous and sex as "bad" and weakening. There seems to be a notion that when the penis is limp after sex it was somehow "damaged" by having been inside the woman.

j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 6 May 2003 19:14 (twenty years ago) link

What is canestan?

That Girl (thatgirl), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 03:35 (twenty years ago) link

This thread makes me think of Snow Crash (vagina weapons!).

And yes, I have acute deja vu very often.

Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 04:15 (twenty years ago) link

Canestan is a topical thrush cream. (Also available in tablet form but the toothpaste story wouldn't have worked for those, I'm guessing.)

Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 08:31 (twenty years ago) link

Vaginismus is a recognised and common complaint, no? It must be hard to get it actually *stuck* in there, but it could be a rather unpleasant experience for both parties if it happened during the act.

Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 09:21 (twenty years ago) link

Vaginismus usually means you can't get it in there in the first place though.

Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 09:46 (twenty years ago) link

Ah, I do love these civilised morning chats.

Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 09:47 (twenty years ago) link

Cozen there is such a phrase.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 09:48 (twenty years ago) link

Whew!, that'll, er, come in handy...

(You can all stop 'waiting' now, obv.)

Cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 09:50 (twenty years ago) link

on the first day of vaginismus, my true love sent to me....

ken c, Wednesday, 7 May 2003 10:37 (twenty years ago) link

Ya'll can't be having these fantastic threads during periods of time when I'm stuck at work.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 10:59 (twenty years ago) link

Dan, This thread isn't about periods.

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 13:43 (twenty years ago) link

Periods, vagina dentata...you end up bleeding from the crotch either way.

NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 15:34 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.4321films.com/Monsturd_DVD.jpg

Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 15:40 (twenty years ago) link

It's not just a movie, it's a movement!
Ha ha.

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 15:54 (twenty years ago) link

I hear the score is incredible.

NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 15:56 (twenty years ago) link

I saw this in Blockbuster the other day. My wife wouldn't let me rent it for our romantic movie night.

Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 15:57 (twenty years ago) link

Dude, you have a romantic movie night? Pussy.

NA. (Nick A.), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 15:59 (twenty years ago) link

Dude, Im married. Comes with the package.

Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 16:00 (twenty years ago) link

And what a big package it is! RIght, Chris? Huh?

Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 16:00 (twenty years ago) link

Huge.

Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 16:03 (twenty years ago) link

I still have romantic movie nights even now whilst single. The only difference is, instead of closing out the night with hot passionate endless love-making, I just sorta drink until I fall down and wake up in a puddle of my own tears/puke.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 16:07 (twenty years ago) link

Chris and Chris's Wife and Sarah and NA, that great new romantic comedy.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 16:07 (twenty years ago) link

Its more like a date night. Pretty much because she works nights and I see her one day a week.

Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 16:08 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~md5s-kzo/killercon.jpg

I just wanted to post that again.

N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:12 (twenty years ago) link

That's quite a professional looking criminal sketch there!

Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 7 May 2003 17:24 (twenty years ago) link

eleven months pass...
PICTURE NOT SAFE FOR WORK

coming to get you, Thursday, 15 April 2004 13:37 (twenty years ago) link

look out for the Sarlacc Pit!

Kingfish Balzac (Kingfish), Thursday, 15 April 2004 13:44 (twenty years ago) link

ha ha! that's a proper 'vicious cunt'.

Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Thursday, 15 April 2004 13:44 (twenty years ago) link

three years pass...

couldn't remember what that other thread was called

http://www.avclub.com/content/hater/vagina_dentata_is_the_opposite_of

Jordan, Thursday, 29 November 2007 18:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Youtube comment:

balinx (5 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam
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(Reply) (Spam)

just fuck her in the ass

melton mowbray, Thursday, 29 November 2007 18:48 (sixteen years ago) link

That's a top 10 answer for the end movies quicker thread.

Clay, Thursday, 29 November 2007 18:50 (sixteen years ago) link

GUMMI DENTATA:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/33/67993544_3b2a9b56ff.jpg

Abbott, Thursday, 29 November 2007 22:41 (sixteen years ago) link

Every rose has its thorns.

roxymuzak, Thursday, 29 November 2007 22:45 (sixteen years ago) link

two years pass...

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/africa/06/20/south.africa.female.condom/index.html?hpt=C2

South African Dr. Sonnet Ehlers was on call one night four decades ago when a devastated rape victim walked in. Her eyes were lifeless; she was like a breathing corpse.

"She looked at me and said, 'If only had teeth down there,'" recalled Ehlers, who was a 20-year-old medical researcher at the time. "I promised her I'd do something to help people like her one day."

Forty years later, Rape-aXe was born.

Ehlers is distributing the female condoms in the various South African cities where the World Cup soccer games are taking place.

The woman inserts the latex condom like a tampon. Jagged rows of teeth-like hooks line its inside and attach on a man's penis during penetration, Ehlers said.

Once it lodges, only a doctor can remove it -- a procedure Ehlers hopes will be done with authorities on standby to make an arrest.

"It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it's on," she said. "If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter... however, it doesn't break the skin, and there's no danger of fluid exposure."

Ehlers said she sold her house and car to launch the project, and she planned to distribute 30,000 free devices under supervision during the World Cup period.

"I consulted engineers, gynecologists and psychologists to help in the design and make sure it was safe," she said.

After the trial period, they'll be available for about $2 a piece. She hopes the women will report back to her.
It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it's on. If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter
--Dr Sonnet Ehlers
RELATED TOPICS

* Sexual Offenses
* South Africa

"The ideal situation would be for a woman to wear this when she's going out on some kind of blind date ... or to an area she's not comfortable with," she said.

The mother of two daughters said she visited prisons and talked to convicted rapists to find out whether such a device would have made them rethink their actions.

Some said it would have, Ehlers said.

Critics say the female condom is not a long-term solution and makes women vulnerable to more violence from men trapped by the device.

It's also a form of "enslavement," said Victoria Kajja, a fellow for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the east African country of Uganda. "The fears surrounding the victim, the act of wearing the condom in anticipation of being assaulted all represent enslavement that no woman should be subjected to."

Kajja said the device constantly reminds women of their vulnerability.

"It not only presents the victim with a false sense of security, but psychological trauma," she added. "It also does not help with the psychological problems that manifest after assaults."

However, its one advantage is it allows justice to be served, she said.

Various rights organizations that work in South Africa declined to comment, including Human Rights Watch and Care International.

South Africa has one of the highest rape rates in the world, Human Rights Watch says on its website. A 2009 report by the nation's Medical Research Council found that 28 percent of men surveyed had raped a woman or girl, with one in 20 saying they had raped in the past year, according to Human Rights Watch.

In most African countries, rape convictions are not common. Affected women don't get immediate access to medical care, and DNA tests to provide evidence are unaffordable.

"Women and girls who experience these violations are denied justice, factors that contribute to the normalization of rape and violence in South African society," Human Rights Watch says.

Women take drastic measures to prevent rape in South Africa, Ehlers said, with some wearing extra tight biker shorts and others inserting razor blades in their private parts.

Critics have accused her of developing a medieval device to fight rape.

"Yes, my device may be a medieval, but it's for a medieval deed that has been around for decades," she said. "I believe something's got to be done ... and this will make some men rethink before they assault a woman."

kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 22:36 (thirteen years ago) link

this will severely increase cases of men just beating women to death tbh

what these women need isn't vagina dentata, it's a system that victimises the rapist rather than the raped

to this end I suggest decriminalising any attack upon a man in the act of raping a woman - even if it is fatal

oh I don't know, I'm a bit drunk but there has to be a way.

Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Sunday, 20 June 2010 22:42 (thirteen years ago) link

Ah yes, wise words from the comments box

It's a nice idea but the rapists will just switch to buttsecks.
8 minutes ago | Like (1) | Report abuse

It's true though-it is a nice idea.

admrl, Sunday, 20 June 2010 22:44 (thirteen years ago) link

Your first point is my reaction to the article. Although if the condom has the ability to keep a man from walking, it's possible that he would be in too great a pain to do much damage. I'm suspicious though.

I think that attacking a man who is raping a woman is probably often completely justifiable in many courts of law.

kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 22:49 (thirteen years ago) link

Egad, I had to put too many qualifiers in that last sentence.

kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 22:52 (thirteen years ago) link

I think that attacking a man who is raping a woman is probably often completely justifiable in many courts of law.

Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Sunday, 20 June 2010 22:55 (thirteen years ago) link

we had a thread about this already

get your bucket of free wings (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Sunday, 20 June 2010 22:57 (thirteen years ago) link

I searched for "Sonnet Ehlers" and couldn't find anything...

kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 23:34 (thirteen years ago) link

rape axe

rabbis (arby's), Sunday, 20 June 2010 23:39 (thirteen years ago) link

this thing is, like, years old?

dead flower :( (Pashmina), Monday, 21 June 2010 14:24 (thirteen years ago) link

it used to be called rapex, but they had to change the name because rapex is the EU's dangerous consumer product agency. I'm sure there's some kind of lol irony thing there but I'm not going to unpick it.

dead flower :( (Pashmina), Monday, 21 June 2010 14:28 (thirteen years ago) link

"The ideal situation would be for a woman to wear this when she's going out on some kind of blind date ... or to an area she's not comfortable with," she said.

Ideal!

Not the real Village People, Monday, 21 June 2010 18:43 (thirteen years ago) link


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