Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Profile is full of smirking selfies. Just wow.

gl dayo! Whatever happens, you will not be that guy, so it's probably in the bag!

thank you io, i will try not to be that guy

http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/635c5f231fa61cfb8d7af81f3b349d93/tumblr_mlvfmlB7DA1qisy2wo1_500.png

don't be this guy either

do they sell fleshlights shaped like a rolled-up copy of the constitution yet?

Or a gun barrel.

Hey i got druno and wanted to say everaone here should go 100% easier on every profile including themselves cos ppl surpsrise u, esprcilakly by ilx standards and like ilu u all

dmac do u have any tips for my date

Refresh me on details and ill do my best

do u have any tips on how to project confidence, suaveness & precision

No

Brush yr teeth tho

Tip #1 is if u really are in the game to spend srs amounts of yr life with a person then act like dayo 1st and prospective date gu_ 2nd
If u are not in that game i have only one piece of advice: get into that game

ps i have mad faith in the dayo i know from ilx, try that persona

should i adopt a schtick??

No!

Srs this shit is most obv to me. No schtick.

Unless you fancy keeping this schtico up forevwr, else what poin?

well the secret was that mordy is my date

i have a tailored jacket, link plz?

lol "a well fitting blazer" is one of my 6 things :-/

I updated my location to Brooklyn while I am here and now the creepiest dudes in NYC are messaging me. Guess its not just a Denver issue.

"Christian Mingle" sounds like the name of a holy snack mix

My 1870s transatlantic heiress alter ego seems to have worked? Hm.

check for icebergs

lol noted.

tbf i thik i was free associating a bit but climatic caution = good idea

Icebergs are poor dining companions, and you can't take them to the beach in July.

u can take the iceberg to the beach but u can lettuce inn

I forgotall my advice for dayo and my head hurts

I got three matches on tinder today what do I do

Only promising correspondent in weeks is a too-old-for-me guy who lives out of state. He did give me a complimet that was also an echo & the bunnymen reference.

Didn't take the wise advice on here to dump the game-player when I shoulda. I finally went nuclear on him last week.

Ha! Further ok stupid adventures: I was thinking of meeting up with this guy who seemed pretty into me, but Iooked at his answers and he said that even "slight overweight" was a dealbreaker, with an added obnoxious comment that "keep in mind, overweight is over 25bmi."

I was like, "well, guess date's off, cuz my bmi is 31. Just fyi bmi is a general indicator of possible overweight & it's also nagl to couch your aesthetic preferences in psuedoscience" <-paraphrase. Hope dude sucks on that bitter pill for a minute. Dumbass.

ha! my biggest prob has been nobody in dating range + filtering out the occasional XKCD fan. think this stupid site is probably not much use to me :( sigggggggh

sometimes being a mod pays off:

From weatherdcowboy to flagger:
Well thank you for my English lesson,i see you have no humor inside you and even though you may think i am dumb.I made a living being a full time cowboy in the rodeo and that's a life you could never imagine or ever understand and i also received an education ,and i have no masters degree but i also feed america that's right that piece of beef you eat may have just come off my ranch.BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S NOT EDUCATED PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT MAKE THE WORLD,I HAVE AN EDUCATION ALSO BUT I WOULD TAKE A SIMPLE COUNTRY GAL OVER YOUR SMART ASS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK AND TWICE ON SUNDAY. THIS COUNTRY IS BROKE BUT YOU OUT OF ALL BETTER HOPE IT GETS BETTER BECAUSE THAT MEAT YOU BUY IN THE STORE DOES'NT GROW THERE .I CAN MAKE A LIVING WHEN YOU CAN'T WHEN THIS COUNTRY FAILS.

SO IT'S ALL THE BEST TO YOU JUDGE YOU WILL CERTAINLY NEED IT. SMOKIN SUGAR SHANE ALAN.MY PRO RIDING NAME.

whaaat?

Emily, are you not in the UK? Maybe I've got my lower case emilyss mixed up.

i think you do

Just realized that I answered "for someone in a committed relationship, is masturbation infidelity?" with "Yes." Oops, wtf.

emil.y != emilys.

Oops.
I was hoping I didn't so that I could imagine there existed a doggie-ridin', beef-slappin' British good ol' boy.

sorry emilys of ILX

haha re infidelity. everyone looking at your profile, slaaaaaags the lot of them.

i still haven't gotten around to having an actual profile but oh good my #1 match in ALL OF LONDON is my ex-girlfriend, c'mon now okcupid leave it out m8.

I STIIILLLLL haven't filled out the essays! But I've answered a lot of questions with explanations, which I like in others' profiles as much as essays. And I've gotten a few 5-stars and responses, so whatever. I need to improve my attitude re dating.

Gr80, how tall are you?

A cutie who was 5'4" showed up as a match, and I swooned off my chair, but he's not the midget for me, sadly.

why?

Why wasn't he for me? B/c he seemed immature and otherwise not compatible.
Or if you're asking why I asked your height, it's b/c you mentioned women having height requirements.

oh i forgot i said that, haw

i am 5'9" which iirc is basically the worldwide average height for all human men in 21st century planet earth

taller than you

are there women who would think 5'9" is too short? seems insane.

have def passed through some '6'0+ only please :)' profiles

:)

i must be one of the only people here who just basically doesn't do the dating thing

i don't think i'll ever do online dating. it seems brutal.

lol i meant dating in general, but