Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"He keeps saying he's Billy Corgan."

"What do you think he's gonna do with the newspaper after reading it?"

"Should I tell them there's a 'Mouse in the House' or a 'Rat in the House'? One sounds better, but the other one's probably more accurate."

"Elwood, I can't stand this anymore. I thought we agreed one pooka was more than enough."

"I'm calling mother. What a 'tail' this morning has been!"

"I thought he was YOUR uncle Frank!"

Lol at dig at our friend tom leonard

Tell him they can deliver a thin crust with Canadian bacon but they're all out of SQUEEEEEAK.

"What's he look like? Uhhh, he's kind of a mousy-looking dude..."

egg finalists:

"Easy for you to say—you're cured!"
"I'm always done in three minutes."
"I always wake up dreading the morning."

jesus

cured one is cuet.

"New Yorker has bad taste. Not like us."

"Sure he's well-mannered just now, but what about when he sees what won the caption competition this week?"

The nomination for the 'woman in bed with building' one are too boring to relate, so:

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/04/29/p465/130429_contest_p465.jpg

"fuckin predictive text"

"patch on the wrong eye again cap'n?"

"Yes, Spike, I have indeed discovered Baudrillard."

"His name is 'arrghvy."

"So? There's a white hair on *your* shoulder as well!"

You expected a parrot on my shoulder, but no it is a rabbit. So, aaaaaaaaaaaa!

"There's good news and bad news, Bates. The bad news is I'm leaving you. The good news is I'm having an affair with this rabbit."

"Why? Because I ate my last parrot and it tasted awful."

"You don't know what it's like to have a rabbit on your shoulder."

"This is normal."

"Max is wondering where his scurvy dog is."

"I thought we all celebrated Easter."

"I wonder if you could help me, I appear to have a pirate super-glued to my feet."

"i don't want to hear any watership down superstitions"

"Chas n Dave were on the jukebox, I was drunk, it seemed like a funny idea at the time"

"Quit looking at me like that"

"Ran out of crackers"
"Houdini borrowed the parrot"
"Man, I hate Vegas"
"Sure it's less intimidating but you'd be surprised how many ladies I've picked up with this thing"

can't quite work out a briar patch/eye patch joke. "he was thrown in with eye patch"? too esoteric

"I lost an eye in the final battle, but after I killed that rabbit I sent him to the taxidermist!"
"That's all very well, Mr. MacGregor, but why did you then decide to become a pirate?"

"It came with the maps"

"It's drivin me nuts!"

Im wearing my hare to the right this season

"When I cut off his lucky foot you can give him a peg leg."

"Salesman said to nurture it during the larval stage, so it'll become a faithful dragon."

"He's eaten all our food. We're doomed."

"I'm a pirate lol"

"Weigh anchor! The rabbits have taken over!"

"Australia you say? Count me in."

"He's a hare worse at parroting my comments than the last animal I had."

"Australia you say? Count me in."

winner

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/05/06/p465/130506_contest_p465.jpg

"Nestcafe?"

Why no, I never have heard of 'empty nest syndrome' do go on

When we moved in it was a little eyrie but all it took was aloft conversion

"I know what you're thinking, but this is normal"

Um, I think that architect might actually have said bough-house :(

"Would you like some Twiglets to eat?"

"I hope you're not going to tweet about this."