Kids say the darndest things

aww

also

"Henry was calling seahorses "cowboy fish." That mistake alone makes me think he's a smart cookie.

― pplains, Monday, April 8, 2013 9:57 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink"

!!!!!

little guy flipped it over to the back, went "a-n-i-t-a-o-d-a-y spells...(back to the front) girl yawning!"

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, April 9, 2013 1:00 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

concise record reviews

Just now:
Me: Henry, I'm hungry. Will you make me something?
Henry: Uh-huh
Me: You will?? What will you make?
Henry: McDonalds

guess how much I love u lol

Ava: "If I write a book does it have to be a new idea?"
Us: "Yes, it's good to be original."
Ava: "Good. Because I have an original idea. My book will be called The Unstoppable Super Spider-Man."
Us: "Hmmm. I think the creators of Spider-Man might not be pleased with that."
Ava: "No, it's the Unstoppable Super-Spider Man. There's a hyphen in it. It is different."

(There then followed a discussion about a spin-off called Unstoppable Ninja Super-Spider Man and Ava's dismay that someone had "stolen my idea before I had a chance to think of it" for a female detective called Shirley Holmes.)

It could be ok..

http://images.45cat.com/ian-dury-and-the-blockheads-suepermans-big-sister-1980-4.jpg

K has learned to say "Wow" and does it in this great, exaggerated way, like "wwwwooOOOOW!"

Saturday we took her to the central park zoo. We showed her the monkeys -- no interest. Penguins - no interest. Sea Lions -- no noticeable interest. She sees a girl playing with bubbles -- "wwwwooOOOOW!"

in the bathtub:

Me: look, it's time for you to wash your hair! How many times do I have to ask you!
Veronica: Okay, but daddy, here's the thing... *points her butt at me and farts*

her first successful comedy routine

i made that exact same joke the other night when my sister told me to do the dishes

lol

she likes to fart and she is crazy

evie was playing in her room by herself and chanting "obama obama. obama obama." over and over the other day

lol @Veronica!

And, at least in my kids' school in San Francisco, there is a level of Obama worshiping going on that is borderline creepy.

well we live in chicago so

i feel like were raising a generation of late night hosts

Whenever I pass by the Obama pix in my kids' daycare, I think, "How would I feel if these were George Bush Jr. posters?"

Then I remember that Beeps was in daycare for at least 20 months of Bush and I never saw any, so I'm cool.

Beeps and I (and possibly her mother) have been going through this back-and-forth about watching Wizard of Oz.

I'm of the opinion that, shit, it's pretty scary for a 39-year-old, much less a 6-year-old. I've been a bit guarded about letting her watching any flying monkeys.

She finally brags to me the other day that she got to watch a little about it at pre-school and that she is very much aware of the main characters: The girl, the dog, the lion, the elf and the zombie.

.
.
.
Hell, maybe she is ready to watch the damn movie.

^^^ i had no idea this was going on. A) I'm surprised she would watch anything non-animated (or "real life" as she calls it)and B) I have never seen the movie because I know its got at least two of my most hated things: monkeys and singing. If the zombie eats the monkey brains then maybe i could get into it.

ELF = Tin Man, because of his hat.

ZOMBIE = Scarecrow

haa

He IS searching for a brain! Smart kid.

fwiw Veronica watched the Wizard of Oz when she was 4 1/2 and everybody warned her ahead of time about the "scary monkeys" and then she watched it and didn't really give a shit about any of it.

my terror of windstorms is 100% becuase of the perfect-storm convergence of me watching Wizard of Oz repeatedly from a v early age + the Cyclone Tracy mini series they aired on TV when I was 10.

I still can't handle the sound of a strong wind, and all this tornado footage freaks me right out. Fascinates me, but scares the bejabbers out of me.

lol @ scarecrow/zombie

Lulu has noticed something about movies. "In every film, there is...a problem."

someone get that kid a lit degree

"Problematic"

Me and H riding the elevator up to the B's floor.

ME: So you have spaghetti for lunch today?

H: Uh-huh!

ME: I didn't even know that –

H: [sings] Uh-OH, Spa-ghetti ... Etti ... ETTI.

________________________

There's no way I would have posted that anywhere but here.

him:
"do you want donuts for breakfast, or chocolate?"

me:
"we don't eat chocolate for breakfast!"

him:
"i'm just giving you options."

haha every weekend morning around 9am for the past 12 months or so Beatrice and I have engaged in this exchange:

Beats: 'Mama, what can I have for breakfast dessert?'
Me: 'Beatrice, there is no such thing as breakfast dessert'
Beats: 'Oh yes there is!'
Me: 'You had Fruit Loops for breakfast!'
Beats: 'So what can I have for breakfast dessert?'

are you curtailing your account right before *breaks down crying because there is no breakfast dessert* or is that just in my house?

evie is going through a thing of calling stuff she likes "cute" or even "soo soooo cute." but yesterday she was in a bad mood and she didn't want me to watch tv and she said "this baseball game is NOT very CUTE."

also yesterday we took her on the train to go to the park and she said "daddy, look, a nail" and held up someone's clipped finger/toenail

Lol I know adults who call things "not cute," I've been enjoying that expression lately! Evie's on a good path.

Lulu clearly has a bright future ahead of her.

it's funny watching my daughter learn to try to lie, she's just so bad at it. have to remind myself to pretend to believe her, that way she'll never get better at it.

We developed a "trick" of saying "thank you" while taking something out of K's hand. K, now 15 months, learns quickly, and has started to say "thank you" while attempting to grab something from one of us.

"there is no such thing as breakfast dessert" is a great sentence

Abby [with a large toy stuck around her arms and torso]: Holy CRAP? Holy CRAP?
Me [freeing her]: Did you just say "holy crap"?
Abby: yeah.
Me: Don't say that dear, that's not a nice thing to say.
Abby: Oh my GOD? Oh my GOD? Oh my GOD? Oh my GOD?

She's back to saying "holy crap", quietly under her breath now, and playing with a figure of Human Torch.

Hahaha love it!

A week or so ago our 3 y/o, Henry, burst into prayer before we had lunch with a surprising degree of enthusiasm. The prayer was in no way imparted from me or PP.

Where do you think he got it?

My primary suspect is his daycare as it is associated with a Methodist church.

Same 3 y/o mocked me for the first time ever last night. He was super hungry before bed but I insisted it was "Too late for Hot dogs!". Not longer after I took him upstairs to put him to bed he spent a good two minutes bouncing on his bed and saying in the most mocking tone ever while imitating my voice. "ooooooo its too late for hot dogs! No hot dogs now. Its just tooo late!" etc etc. Our kids are such smartasses.

Nice!

When I sing Wheels on the Bus to K now, each verse she will call out the thing that is on the bus. Things that ride our bus include:

Chair
Bottle
Water
Cheese
Red (the color)
Hole

It's very difficult to figure out what some of these things *do* on a bus, especially when put on the spot

lool

can you get away with, like 'the cheese on the bus goes cheese cheese cheese?' or would you get side-eye

'Red" !!