Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Our malpractice insurance provider sent us a notice that on our renewal application, we'd failed to provide the number of hours that my boss works per year.

Last week, I'd given the application to my boss and put a flag on the # of hours area so she would be sure to fill it out, but she ignored it and mailed it off.

Her reaction to their request for the missing information: "Oh, argh. Why do they need to know that?"

She says that a lot.

When the bank wanted her home address when setting up our credit card system, when her mortgage company asked for her addresses for the last X years, when a bar association asked for her membership number on their membership renewal form. She just skips the question if she thinks it's dumb.

She's a hero for our times.

I once skipped the "Mr/Mrs/Ms" section on a hospital form and got yelled at in a full waiting room. This was after they told me to fill out lots of pages and wouldn't give me a pen.

just be like FUCK YOU AND YOUR PATRIARCHY and dance at them.

Jesus, they wouldn't even give you a pen?

i think i might need to find a new job. whenever i try to express myself or i'm feeling good, one of the people here has some snarky bullshit to give me. like, laughing boy made some backhanded remark to everyone about the weird artsy crap i hung up in my cube as being "pretensious", and now that i'm feeling more confident thanks to therapy, captain awesome did some passive aggressive spiel that i'm pretty sure was about me. he was like "well at least i don't talk in monotone like this hurrhurrhurr" ... and I know that I talk in a monotone sometimes because of my anxiety, and I figure it had to be about me, why the hell else would he say that in listening distance from me right after i'm being more confident around the office.

like, i don't get along with these people that well, i find their personalities grating, but i bite my tongue and try to find something about them i like, get to know them, etc. i'm a friggin professional, i don't say dumb passive aggressive bullshit about them as tempted as I am.

geez, when I first got here my boss totally crossed the line w/ me. she flirted with me in totally inappropriate ways, like playing with her bra strap and jiggling her boobs, touching my hands, pulling her shirt down when I talked to her, putting her pen up to her mouth w/ dick sucking lips and shit like that. in my pre-therapy messed up state i was like "woah, maybe she's into me", so I went along with it, then she made some public announcement around everyone that co-workers shouldn't fraternize with their bosses ... which was totally about me! i was so fucking embarassed when she said that because I know she talked about it with other people at the office, and she's the one who started that shit! god damn this place is weird.

errr, pretentious. anyway, life's too short to deal with this crap. i can't really think of anything redeeming about this job except that it gives me a paycheck twice a month.

Please don't ever use the term "dick sucking lips" again.

yeah, i know it's gross, but i have no idea how else to describe it. "a look on her face with obvious sexual overtones" ... sounds like i'm writing a legal complaint.

anywho, i shoulda left this job after that happened.

FFM OTM

anyone else want to weigh in here on "dick sucking lips"?

Hey thanks for cutting off my answer so you could go round all the men in the room one by one and listen to them say "dunno" instead, maybe next time you should just say "does anyone know anything about x but please only answer if you don't so I can feel cleverer than everyone"

(excerpts from sleep-deprived and taking shit too personally vol. 34950)

ok was totally overreacting yesterday, stressed out as all hell. except for the weird supervisor flirtation shit. new boss boss is totally giving me the cold shoulder, makes an obvious point of ignoring me during meetings. today captain awesome was like "dude, she's ignoring you" and i'm like 'yeah'. not a good sign.

dude I'm sure all the ringtones and alarm sounds will still be on your new phone when you get home and you don't have to try them all in the office

also this is the 3rd new smartphone you've got in 5-6 months, guess you earn more than me, congrats

anyone else want to weigh in here on "dick sucking lips"?

― Spectrum, Thursday, April 4, 2013 4:42 PM (5 days ago)

first up, "dick sucking lips" shouldn't be used to describe miming fellatio, which seems to be what was happening. it should be used to describe a certain appearance to the lips that lead you to believe that they would be good for sucking dick. is that the case here? if so, i've edited your post to reflect proper usage:

geez, when I first got here my boss totally crossed the line w/ me. she flirted with me in totally inappropriate ways, like playing with her bra strap and jiggling her boobs, touching my hands, pulling her shirt down when I talked to her, putting her pen up to her mouth and smacking it all over her dick sucking lips and shit like that. i still have the pen sitting beside my computer. i stole it from her office. in my pre-therapy messed up state i was like "woah, maybe she's into me", so I went along with it, then she made some public announcement around everyone that co-workers shouldn't fraternize with their bosses ... which was totally about me! i was so fucking embarassed when she said that because I know she talked about it with other people at the office, and she's the one who started that shit! god damn this place is weird.

― Spectrum, Thursday, April 4, 2013 1:23 PM (5 days ago)

but, even now that know the proper usage, i'd recommend avoiding the term.

I'm here for absolution. I'm about to cut my fingernails at my desk, in my office with the door closed. Bless me ILX for I'm about to sin.

oh if you're in your own office with a closed door I do not see this as being a problem.

Thank you. The deed is done. I feel SO MUCH BETTER. I hate typing with long nails. *shudder*

you're absolved since u have an office with a door. rest easy, carl

Just hacked my nails back this morning to avoid that terrible, terrible typing-scraping feeling. (Deed done in my bedroom).

You can just about whatever you want in your own office, lawd knows I do.

Why did Boss' shredder stopped shredding? B/c it overheated when she was using it with the space heater pointed at it 2 or 3" away.

Man why even ask for my summary of yesterday's crisis which you were not even slightly interested in helping w/ yesterday if you are just going to talk over it and disagree with minor aspects of my wording

if you know so much more about it than the people who actually had to deal with it then maybe you should have fixed it for us and sent the 200 apologetic emails I had to send for someone else's fuckup

(this rather closely resembles my last post on this thread and yes it is directed at the same person, and no they are not my boss or it might be acceptable)

i work in a huge office building in the suburbs. its parking lots are also huge and far flung.

i just saw a dude in a trans-siberian orchestra tshirt and cargo pants rollerblade from his car to the front door of the building.

teaching u how to live

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01972/james-bond_1972400c.jpg

[11:54:42 AM] N_____: you not on skype
[11:54:53 AM] N_____: kevin is looking for you
[11:54:59 AM] Trayce: ?
[11:55:02 AM] Trayce: youre skyping me!

...I dont even.

ugh can someone googlefy my name pls stupid cut n paste.

y

thankye kindley

Boss' computer is about 5 years old, and it has been starting to have problems.

Couple of weeks ago IT guy fixed it and recommended buying a new system. Boss says that IT guy just wants to score a commission from Dell (on a computer that would cost barely $1,000) and "this one is working just fine."

Today, more problems. IT guy works for a couple hours and says it's time for a new computer. Boss says, "This one is working just fine."

Boss' diagnosis: computer should not be left on overnight because "It's well-known that that's how hackers get in."

also, elves

I have a temporary co-worker (a new contact person on a biannual sheep breeders directory) who is making me want to drink antifreeze. This is her first time coordinating any sort of project like this, and I've had to talk her off the ledge and let her know the project is going well at least 2x daily for the last 10 days. The upside is that she's directed some of that nervous energy into selling ads, so we have 2 to 3 times the number of advertisers from the previous directory.

One of the advertisers pulled his ad because I pointed out the bad photoshop job he'd done on the picture he wanted to run. (Imagine a digital version of the ruined fresco of Jesus in Spain from last year.)

To the IT guy in response to his saying her computer is old (6 years old, not 5): "Look, the reality is that computers are obsolete the second you pay for them." (so they remain forever at the same level of obsolescence??)

She's probably already wasted $1000 worth of IT's time keeping this one around

Well yeh. Our IT is a consultant, whom we pay hourly.

Wm, I wish I could see the bad photoshop. Imagining a flat-faced sheep. A lamb, like the ruined fresco of the lamb of God.

I would post it, but I don't want to cross the streams of work and ilx life too much. It was a backdrop shot of a winning ram, and they'd painted over it in its two colors (tan body, black face and legs) so that it just looked like a cardboard silhouette. I think they must have cancelled the ad out of embarrassment, but they said they were cancelling it because I had the gall to ask for a higher-resolution version of the photo. (They sent 338 x 224 pixels, roughly postage-stamp size at print resolution.)

training with coworker to learn new tasks that may come up in the coming weeks. as far as I know, I'm just helping pick up some slack. Find myself trapped in this whirling nervous vortex of "uhmmm so here is EVERYTHING i do" that was so unending & tooootally confusing & overwhelming & I was like "Okay, I'm gonna stop you there. My brain only can hold so much the first time round, we can go over things as they come up." and pray that 90% of what he told me I won't have to do for at least a little while. Fuuuuuck me O_O

some people really suck at dispensing *pertinent* information

One of my coworkers has been sick all week. Really felt bad for him. He's wracked with a cough, etc. Friday, during the lunch hour, he's on a personal phone call in his office. "Oh, I'm doing better. Except it's all coming out the other end." "That Mucinex really thins you out, if you know what I mean." Yeah, well you'll be crappin' too in about a week!"

I'm just sitting out here in my cubicle trying to eat a veggie burger. You have an office with a door. Use it.

Our temporary HR lead may be the single worst person I have ever encountered.

She has been brought on to oversee the recruitment of a dozen new staff. In two months we haven't recruited anyone despite hundreds of interviews. Otherwise fine candidates have been vetoed for not being 'spunky' enough, having 'the wrong vibe' or because she 'wasn't really feeling them'.

She'll answer a shared phone line, say "uh, what? I don't know what you're talking about" and hang up. Might be a potential new customer, might not, who knows?

She yelled 'you're not very good at your job, are you" at our IT department (overworked ppl in Bangalore serving a company of tens of thousands) because they couldn't make her computer go faster.

She'll grab handfuls of chocolates given to us by clients to share with the office and bray through a full mouth "isn't it amazing how I never put on weight?"

She encouraged one of my colleagues to have a cupcake by saying 'it's not as though you're "big" big'.

She has gone into interviews with the wrong people's CVs and cover letters.

She's so desperate to show of how fluent she is in Spanish she'll do pre-interview vetting entirely in castellano. Which would be fine if it didn't mean we keep calling people for interview who aren't proficient in English - something she would have realised had she not been showing off.

Ugh.

O_o

Wow! She is terrible.

lol. she sounds like the worst person ever!

I think she might be an actress hired to make the boss look less awful in comparison.

She'll grab handfuls of chocolates given to us by clients to share with the office and bray through a full mouth "isn't it amazing how I never put on weight?"

...she isn't what you would call a people person

I kinda have a crush on her, tbh.