Craigslist hilarity

http://blogs.artinfo.com/artintheair/2013/03/27/art-world-missed-connections-tilda-swinton-at-moma-sculptural-met-seductress-and-more/

Need Drum beats for your songs...

http://images.craigslist.org/3Kf3L13N95Nf5L75M2d3s4393afd4e308118e.jpg

We offer the best sounding drum beats around because we have real drummers playing the beats. Any style, any time signature. Professional musicians offering affordable services.

Lady at the funeral - m4w - 50 (Houston)

I saw you at the funeral and I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I think you wanted to look at me but you couldn't. You just stayed in the corner. Your hair was blonde. I was wearing the dark suit. I brushed against your hand briefly, but you didn't react. You were like an angel in a room full of grief, the center of attention. I hope they have keyboards in heaven so you can write me back.

$950 Room for rent (Williamsburg ,Brooklyn)
Room for rent w/ private full size bathroom and wall to wall closet ...utilities included ...( however if you choose to have A/C there will be an extra charge). Looking for a responsible, working and low key single female NON-SMOKER ...NO PETS!!! I prefer a female that doesn't cook NOT to comfortable sharing my kitchen . There will be a small refrigerator and microwave in the room for your own use. I have a washer and dryer which you can use once a week ( you can decided which day ). The room will be available on May 1 , 2012. ONE MONTH RENT AND ONE MONTH SECURITY REQUIRED ...

You will be sharing the apt.with myself and my (3)kids ages 19,13 & 9...my oldest goes to college the other two go to regular school and I also have a shih tzu. My house is not a party or hang out location (meaning I don't allow NO sleepover NO exceptions !!!!) as far as visitors are concern not too comfortable with that either but we can discuss that ..it may sound a lot to take in but they are well behaved and well mannered kids ...can't speak for my puppy (HE'S PLAYFUL) if u looking a family oriented environment this is the place ...DRAMA FREE!!!u will have your privacy the rooms are separated and you have your own full bathroom ..no sharing ...

The location is beautiful its by the water, its on the piers where you can actually catch the Fairy to go to city and other locations as well ...its not too long from Marcy ave. train station and not too far from the L train on Bedford ave.

small, cheap chuckles but i take what i can get

watch the fairy :)

catch oops

http://www.gameswelike.com/web/pix/Zelda/smzeldapix/Zelda03fairy_small.jpg

:)

Author needs female participant for affair (for book project)

My name is Chad Leslie Peters and I am the author of the Amazon bestselling novel, The Affair: a Thirty Day Experiment in Love, which reached the top twenty in the Amazon erotic category last year. The novel told the story of a 30 day erotic affair between an older man and his much younger lover. The "affair" began on the campus of a university much like USC and played out over several torrid weeks. You can find the book at Amazon by searching for "The Affair by Chad Leslie Peters". You can sample it for free at the site. I will also send you a free copy if you like.

I am preparing to write the sequel to "The Affair" and I need your help. I plan on writing a non-fiction version of "The Affair". The book will detail every aspect of a mutually-agreed to romantic affair between myself and a young FEMALE lover (perhaps you), experienced over 30 days, as in the novel. The difference between the first book and this one will be verite: everything in this new volume will be the truth as both participants see it. If you agree to participate in this project, you will keep a diary of all of your thoughts, impressions and memories of the thirty day affair that we will share. I will then combine your written thoughts with my own to present the reader with two versions of the same erotic story. One love affair, as seen separately by the man and woman.

I am a serious writer; this project is meant to be taken seriously by the participant that I choose and by the readers, who will be able to read the fictional version beside the non-fiction story that we present together. This has never been done before and I am very excited at the prospect and possibilities.

If you are interested in applying to assist me on this book, which will be available through Amazon and possibly later on, Barnes and Noble.com, please write to me immediately.

I will make the selection based on a brief email correspondence with you. After that we will speak on the telephone and I will furnish further details. Then we will meet for coffee to discuss the project further. I am looking for someone who is a very good writer (your writing will appear in the book) and preferably an English or writing Major. Please practice safe sex if you want to participate. You must be at least 20 years old to take part in the project. I hope I've piqued your interest and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

nice try dude (already reached dutch blogs so word is spreading fast)

I kinda feel like posting my own version, which stresses that while no one has ever done this before, others are working along similar lines, meaning we've got to act fast or it's all for nothing.

I will make the selection based on a brief email correspondence with you. After that we will speak on the telephone and I will furnish further details. Then we will meet for coffee to discuss the project further.

...then we will have dinner & discuss finer details. Then a bike ride to discuss particulars. Then a roller disco to go over the specifics...

My name is Chad Leslie Peters Smoove B

http://images.craigslist.org/3Id3Me3Hd5La5Gc5J3d4qbbf611911c011996.jpg

- $775 1 NICELY RENOVATED ROOM IN SHARED 3BED!OFF THE L! NO FEE! ROOF,WASH-DR (EAST WILLIAMSBURG )
TO SCHEDULE A VIEWING PLEASE CALL 347-678-2485

NEW KITCHEN WITH STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES
+ GRANITE COUNTER TOP
MARBLE BATH W/ DEEP SOAK IN TUB
CENTRAL AIR, HIGH CEILING, HARDWOOD FLOORS, EXPOSED BRIC
PET FRIENDLY
TO SCHEDULE A VIEWING PLEASE CALL

^^^ totally ordinary ad but the pairing with the (solitary) image is amazing IMO. also it's deep in bushwick, but the "east williamsburg" angle is an old one

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/roo/3770277537.html

also not the most absurd ad in the world, until you realize that despite being really long and cutesy and rambling, none of the text (in any of its sizes or colors) mentions the Being John Malkovich ceiling situation. Which I recognize might not be a deal-breaker for many people, but it seems like the kind of thing that would be worth touching on.

reverse image search reveals that the image, unsurprisingly, has f-all to do with the apt. http://www.coolhunting.com/design/alex-prager.php

damn i thought those were the roommates and was going to contact the poster

sorry that was a stupid/predictable comment. thanks for the link though i think i like that photographer now.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/search/?areaID=3&subAreaID=&query=NICELY+RENOVATED+ROOM+IN+SHARED+3BED&catAbb=hhh

it looks like they keep spamming the ad with a random image every time (to avoid getting flagged i'd bet)

Oh my god.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/ofc/3774684960.html

Look if you people aren't going to click on that you have no idea.

Well, did you?

ha :)

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

Emoticons
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This is the greatest thing ever

For posterity:

Administrative assistant (New York)

Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mr Debras. Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:07 PM):‎ I am trying to copy and paste the information

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Okay

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Let me know when you are done with that

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:10 PM):‎ I'm having problems copying and pasting the info. I try to highlighted adn then go to edit and click copy. can you help me please?

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:07 PM):‎ I am trying to copy and paste the information

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Okay

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Let me know when you are done with that

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:10 PM):‎ I'm having problems copying and pasting the info. I try to highlighted adn then go to edit and click copy. can you help me please?

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:07 PM):‎ I am trying to copy and paste the information

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Okay

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Let me know when you are done with that

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:10 PM):‎ I'm having problems copying and pasting the info. I try to highlighted adn then go to edit and click copy. can you help me please?

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

Sotheby's Inc. required a skilled and dedicated administrative assistant, office executive and receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to indentify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and help them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft office. Position open to students. Send in your resume.

Emoticons
Format

Emoticons
Format

Emoticons
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Emoticons
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Location: New York
Compensation: $16-$20/hr
Telecommuting is ok.
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Phone calls about this job are ok.
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

― 'scuse me while i make the sky cum (k3vin k.), Monday, April 29, 2013 11:33 PM (3 minutes ago)

who is going to subtitle this over that scene from "downfall"?

hahahahah

Who would do better justice to "Emoticons/Format", Nitzer Ebb or Kraftwerk?

'is there an easier way to do it'

lolololll

lol and sigh at the lack of copy+paste wisdom

Emoticons, format

it looks like she really does type the whole thing out at the end, there are a number of differences

best posting yet. my god

i couldn't help but google that name, and i really hope this is the same person:
https://twitter.com/_Saaymv_

saying prayers tonight that steve reich will adapt this

"Mejia, this is your replacement. Show him/her where the bathrooms are but DON'T do any training."

To chili: Probably not, as that person is in Mexico.

saying prayers tonight that steve reich will adapt this

haha was just coming to say this was like a gertrude stein poem

there's no "debra delman" at sothebys, as far as i can tell

The fact it hasnt disappeared has me wondering.

If it's all a joke I will still love it forever for Emoticons Format.

It's gone now ;_;

it's realy sad, there wasn't an easier way to do it

It is here, in our hearts.

and now, on our ladies t-shirts:

http://www.zazzle.com/womens_t_shirt_emoticons_format-235505636425062841

also on iPad Mini cases:

http://www.zazzle.com/ipad_mini_case_emoticons_format-256377674620570418

(fyi you can turn that t-shirt into a men's shirt)

trying too hard

Rare intentional hilarity:

http://images.craigslist.org/3Kf3Fc3H45I15F15J4d4rceef254185661528.jpg

$700 / 184ft² - Kingdom of finite space (52nd street and 4th ave)

The room we're offering is on the first floor and it is 183.99 square feet of mind blowing shelter and hope/dream containment. It has two windows facing north and looking out to 52nd street. I've included a quick and dirty floor plan so you may grok all that is this room. Sorry for the weird picture artifacts, we promise the room does not suffer from temporal prismatic warps.