Kids say the darndest things

I told Beeps she need to tell her teacher that she was banging on the front doors of her school when it was closed for MLK Day, and her reply was "I don't think that would be a good choice to make."

my kid draws the darndest things etc

Awesome.

so rad!

How funny, my friend's daughter went through a phase of saying," How sad, how sad, you make bad choices."

Love the drawings!!!!!!!

Part of a wall poster Ava made for school on Un Lun Dun (by China Mieville):

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8377/8596702834_a9a34c6623_z.jpg

I'm really glad she chose to write about that and not Captain Underpants.

This morning:

Me: "K, do you know what daddy is drinking? Daddy is drinking coffee. Coffee. Coff-ee. What is daddy drinking?"
K: (fake coughs)

hahah

excellent!

Un Lon Don is a fun book! I think of it whenever I see sad umbrellas to this day. Go Ava.

Er, Dun. Whatever. British ppl.

Last Thursday Henry was sent home from daycare for pooping 3x and was not allowed back until Monday. So we got to spend two days together which was pretty awesome. Anyway, Comcast had their watchathon week going on so I thought Id see what all the fuss was about 'Girls'. Henry was making robots on the iPad when he came over to the couch and asked what I was doing. I told him I was watching a show. He stopped for a moment and watched a non-dialogue scene of 'Jessa' walking down the street. Watching the scene Henry is suddenly surprised and excited. He points at Jessa

Henry: 'Hey! It's Mama. MAMA! THAT'S YOU!!!'

Me: (knowing full well I don't resemble this ridiculously beautiful woman in any way, shape or form) 'You think that's Mama? Are you sure?'

Henry: (bouncing up and down now) "Yes! Yes! Its you, Mama!"

Me: *fake gasp* 'Oh my goodness, Henry! You're right! That is me! Wow. I'm so cute on TV!"

Henry: "Yes! Mama on TV."

Satisfied with my apparent acceptance of this fact, he laid a huge grin on me then ran off to complete his robot assembly

i love that

at 3 a.m., cried out in her sleep demanding "high-fives"

Henry was calling seahorses "cowboy fish." That mistake alone makes me think he's a smart cookie.

i put on a baseball cap i never wear on saturday and evie said i looked like a "nice old man." later she ate a really big granola bar and said she was so full that she was going to have a baby.

bought an anita o'day record

http://www.parisjazzcorner.com/en/pochs_g/094787.jpg

little guy flipped it over to the back, went "a-n-i-t-a-o-d-a-y spells...(back to the front) girl yawning!"

<3

aww

also

"Henry was calling seahorses "cowboy fish." That mistake alone makes me think he's a smart cookie.

― pplains, Monday, April 8, 2013 9:57 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink"

!!!!!

little guy flipped it over to the back, went "a-n-i-t-a-o-d-a-y spells...(back to the front) girl yawning!"

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, April 9, 2013 1:00 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

concise record reviews

Just now:
Me: Henry, I'm hungry. Will you make me something?
Henry: Uh-huh
Me: You will?? What will you make?
Henry: McDonalds

guess how much I love u lol

Ava: "If I write a book does it have to be a new idea?"
Us: "Yes, it's good to be original."
Ava: "Good. Because I have an original idea. My book will be called The Unstoppable Super Spider-Man."
Us: "Hmmm. I think the creators of Spider-Man might not be pleased with that."
Ava: "No, it's the Unstoppable Super-Spider Man. There's a hyphen in it. It is different."

(There then followed a discussion about a spin-off called Unstoppable Ninja Super-Spider Man and Ava's dismay that someone had "stolen my idea before I had a chance to think of it" for a female detective called Shirley Holmes.)

It could be ok..

http://images.45cat.com/ian-dury-and-the-blockheads-suepermans-big-sister-1980-4.jpg

K has learned to say "Wow" and does it in this great, exaggerated way, like "wwwwooOOOOW!"

Saturday we took her to the central park zoo. We showed her the monkeys -- no interest. Penguins - no interest. Sea Lions -- no noticeable interest. She sees a girl playing with bubbles -- "wwwwooOOOOW!"

in the bathtub:

Me: look, it's time for you to wash your hair! How many times do I have to ask you!
Veronica: Okay, but daddy, here's the thing... *points her butt at me and farts*

her first successful comedy routine

i made that exact same joke the other night when my sister told me to do the dishes

lol

she likes to fart and she is crazy

evie was playing in her room by herself and chanting "obama obama. obama obama." over and over the other day

lol @Veronica!

And, at least in my kids' school in San Francisco, there is a level of Obama worshiping going on that is borderline creepy.

well we live in chicago so

i feel like were raising a generation of late night hosts

Whenever I pass by the Obama pix in my kids' daycare, I think, "How would I feel if these were George Bush Jr. posters?"

Then I remember that Beeps was in daycare for at least 20 months of Bush and I never saw any, so I'm cool.

Beeps and I (and possibly her mother) have been going through this back-and-forth about watching Wizard of Oz.

I'm of the opinion that, shit, it's pretty scary for a 39-year-old, much less a 6-year-old. I've been a bit guarded about letting her watching any flying monkeys.

She finally brags to me the other day that she got to watch a little about it at pre-school and that she is very much aware of the main characters: The girl, the dog, the lion, the elf and the zombie.

.
.
.
Hell, maybe she is ready to watch the damn movie.

^^^ i had no idea this was going on. A) I'm surprised she would watch anything non-animated (or "real life" as she calls it)and B) I have never seen the movie because I know its got at least two of my most hated things: monkeys and singing. If the zombie eats the monkey brains then maybe i could get into it.

ELF = Tin Man, because of his hat.

ZOMBIE = Scarecrow

haa

He IS searching for a brain! Smart kid.

fwiw Veronica watched the Wizard of Oz when she was 4 1/2 and everybody warned her ahead of time about the "scary monkeys" and then she watched it and didn't really give a shit about any of it.

my terror of windstorms is 100% becuase of the perfect-storm convergence of me watching Wizard of Oz repeatedly from a v early age + the Cyclone Tracy mini series they aired on TV when I was 10.

I still can't handle the sound of a strong wind, and all this tornado footage freaks me right out. Fascinates me, but scares the bejabbers out of me.

lol @ scarecrow/zombie

Lulu has noticed something about movies. "In every film, there is...a problem."

someone get that kid a lit degree

"Problematic"

Me and H riding the elevator up to the B's floor.

ME: So you have spaghetti for lunch today?

H: Uh-huh!

ME: I didn't even know that –

H: [sings] Uh-OH, Spa-ghetti ... Etti ... ETTI.

________________________

There's no way I would have posted that anywhere but here.

him:
"do you want donuts for breakfast, or chocolate?"

me:
"we don't eat chocolate for breakfast!"

him:
"i'm just giving you options."

haha every weekend morning around 9am for the past 12 months or so Beatrice and I have engaged in this exchange:

Beats: 'Mama, what can I have for breakfast dessert?'
Me: 'Beatrice, there is no such thing as breakfast dessert'
Beats: 'Oh yes there is!'
Me: 'You had Fruit Loops for breakfast!'
Beats: 'So what can I have for breakfast dessert?'