buzz bissingers gucci addiction

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his wife mustve been psyched to see an article that simultaneously calls her a slut AND frigid

max, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:02 (eleven years ago) link

I bought dozens of stretch jeans and leather leggings and leather pants that sculpted my lower body the way I wanted, with no room for speculation.

dear lord

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:03 (eleven years ago) link

I stand in front of the three-way mirror wearing a mock-up and am fastidiously measured by one of Gucci's finest experts on tailoring. A second person assists him. Both of them step back for perspective. This is why Italians should run the world.

what does this mean

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

italians should run the world, because tailors

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

"i'm writing this so i can maybe force this habit into remission and help others who have the same problem"

this is just a cover for him getting off on writing about his leather pants boners in a national magazine

A$AP Rovi (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:05 (eleven years ago) link

I remained steadfast in my Brooks Brothers uniform, except for the time my father took me to a wholesale-clothing store. There was good quality at good prices, probably because there was no hint of ambience, just racks of clothes where size was a game of chance. But I felt like I was in a New Orleans whorehouse, colors and bright checks serving as my hookers. My dad bought me a sculpted jacket with an intricate pattern of orange and black, and a pair of pants in the same colors that fit tight.

I was scared to wear them at Andover. But finally I did during a parade up Main Street on Memorial Day. I marched because of the anonymity it afforded, surrounded by a shield of other students and professors. I suddenly felt an erection in those pants, as wonderful as it was troubling, since observable blooming bulges never had any upside at prep school. But I experienced a sexual vitality I had never felt before in my life.

I never wore them again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:06 (eleven years ago) link

italians should run the world because buzz likes the way they eye his package

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:07 (eleven years ago) link

okay page 5 just ruined my entire day

I did not need a rundown on the many types of boning done by Buzz Bissinger

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:09 (eleven years ago) link

i read this at like 10 this morning, how much do you think i got done?

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:10 (eleven years ago) link

http://cbsphilly.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/2012-08-16-17-04-53.jpg?w=420

Hey Dan.

carl agatha, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:19 (eleven years ago) link

those boots are the lol

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:20 (eleven years ago) link

I just keep thinking "my wife would LOVE those boots" and then I remember Buzz Bissinger is wearing them and then my mind juxtaposes Buzz Bissinger in one of my wife's wrap dresses

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:21 (eleven years ago) link

sort of feeling like hey if buzz can wear those leggings maybe I can too then my brain shuts down

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:22 (eleven years ago) link

there is a guy who comes into the restaurant where i work, he's probably the same age as buzz give or take a few, and he usually wears little capris-length tights and little fur-trimmed high heeled booties with black polo shirts and a salt & pepper crew cut, and it actually works as a look.

it does help that he's petite and svelte and has excellent skin and has excellent poise and carriage

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:26 (eleven years ago) link

I am trying to imagine the circumstances where I would spend $600K on clothing over 3 years and the only scenario coming to mind is "clothing the kids at the orphanage"

which then leads to a mental image of a Tiny Tim analogue in Gucci leather leggings and one of my wife's wrap dresses and it's right back down the lol hole

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:26 (eleven years ago) link

I looked so hip that the owner of the club put us in the special VIP section overlooking the jammed dance floor.

I LOOKED SO HIP. THAT WAS THE REASON. HIPNESS.

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:30 (eleven years ago) link

quarantined because he wouldn't stop grinding a leather-cased erection up on other patrons iirc

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:31 (eleven years ago) link

he looked very hip. and gut. and moob.

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:31 (eleven years ago) link

I'm sorry that was uncalled for

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:32 (eleven years ago) link

the special VIP section is for rich people who order bottle service, ime, and a guy wearing gucci leather pants probably is going to think ordering bottle service is cool

☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:35 (eleven years ago) link

I like the outfits where he just gives in and wears a baggy t-shirt for comfort

Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:37 (eleven years ago) link

he doesn't seem to place much emphasis on shirts. maybe someone can find him some leather shirts.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:41 (eleven years ago) link

this is insane

Woody Ellen (Matt P), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 21:41 (eleven years ago) link

leather shirt http://www.theawl.com/2013/03/the-most-expensive-t-shirt-in-new-york-city-costs-91500-00

lag∞n, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 22:11 (eleven years ago) link

money is kind of the enemy of self-awareness isn't it. money and a shitty childhood.

Woody Ellen (Matt P), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 22:18 (eleven years ago) link

and i guess just being horrible

Woody Ellen (Matt P), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 22:19 (eleven years ago) link

i was looking at all the boards to see where the thread on ilx was about this

why are there not tons and tons of pictures? the clothes all sound so terrible! but i love this, i love that he buys the women's stuff too

it levels up on the crazy every page

i wonder what he got at band of outsiders though

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 22:21 (eleven years ago) link

lord how i have lold

Woody Ellen (Matt P), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 22:22 (eleven years ago) link

major lols that this is on i love style

Woody Ellen (Matt P), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 22:22 (eleven years ago) link

needs cross-links with Mens Trousers thread

Woody Ellen (Matt P), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 22:23 (eleven years ago) link

realized that i am actually wearing a gucci sweater right now. it's very plain, no patterns or logos. i got it on consignment. i don't wear it all that much but it seemed like a good idea this morning

seriously buzz, you could spend that money at gucci on something that's not hideous.

i can't figure out who he looks like in that photo. like he should be a tag team partner for diamond dallas page?

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 23:56 (eleven years ago) link

omg yes

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 23:57 (eleven years ago) link

or an old rich dude Winger cover band

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 23:57 (eleven years ago) link

he def looks like hes in costume

lag∞n, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:01 (eleven years ago) link

ford fairlane meets medieval times

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:01 (eleven years ago) link

the whole thing is so weird why does he think rockers wear gucci why does he have the same old haircut why is he in his underwear at the radio station

lag∞n, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:02 (eleven years ago) link

why did somebody let him choose his underwear

乒乓, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:04 (eleven years ago) link

the weirdest thing to me is that he isn't observant enough to pay attention to how clothes should fit. like whatever image he has in his head of whatever rocker dude is completely distorting what's right in front of his face, which is that his expensive clothes aren't cut in a way that suits him. and he's so observant about other things.

i'm always fascinated when i see people who wear really flashy clothing that doesn't fit. they seem so focused on what kind of person they think that clothing makes them, that they don't have much awareness of how it doesn't really fit them. but it's not bad, it makes life less boring

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:15 (eleven years ago) link

i like the way things steadily unravel. you see that picture of him on the second page, where he's transformed from a brooks brothers dude with a paunch to eurotrash nikki sixx for halloween and you think to yourself, well, there seems to be something deeper going on here. and then he's having trouble with his wife, and, oh wait, he's blowing guys but he's not gay, just wanted to give it a go, fair enough we've all been there, and now he's whipping a guy in a gimp suit at an s&m club and his teacher used to wear leather gloves when she disciplined him and now he's being choked out by a filipina hooker in wanchai and buying an ostrich boa.

love it, buzz.

dylannn, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:41 (eleven years ago) link

i'm always fascinated when i see people who wear really flashy clothing that doesn't fit.

yeah this revelation should get his personal gucci stylist fired

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:43 (eleven years ago) link

i like the way things steadily unravel. you see that picture of him on the second page, where he's transformed from a brooks brothers dude with a paunch to eurotrash nikki sixx for halloween and you think to yourself, well, there seems to be something deeper going on here. and then he's having trouble with his wife, and, oh wait, he's blowing guys but he's not gay, just wanted to give it a go, fair enough we've all been there, and now he's whipping a guy in a gimp suit at an s&m club and his teacher used to wear leather gloves when she disciplined him and now he's being choked out by a filipina hooker in wanchai and buying an ostrich boa.

love it, buzz.

― dylannn, Tuesday, March 26, 2013 8:41 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark

turds (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 00:55 (eleven years ago) link

his personal gucci stylist probably (correctly) assumes it's his/her job to just make sure buzz is happy and has had enough drinks to keep spending $50K+ per visit.. i mean, going on the description of the kinds of things he likes, you can't style that into anything else than what you get

i think there is def something deeper going on than $22K jackets here

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:09 (eleven years ago) link

like detached from the excessive spending, if he feels his style is over the top euro nikki sixx, go on. the "shopping addiction" angle means he can write about all of it like it's destructive addictive behavior but all of it isn't - if he can't stop himself from buying those $22K jackets, that's not healthy, but there's no need to go to rehab for wanting to look fabulous. the trouble is, he likes bon jovi

seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:20 (eleven years ago) link

buzz

Room 227 (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:21 (eleven years ago) link

what kind of commission u think the divine stylist gets

lag∞n, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:44 (eleven years ago) link

i met somebody who was a lowly greeter at LV and she said the proper salespeople can make 6 figures a year in commissions

乒乓, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:46 (eleven years ago) link

i want to make it clear the guy's leading a bizarre possibly self destructive lifestyle but if he called me up and asked me if i was down for hitting up a "sex club" or whatever he calls it, drink a few bottles of cristal and get blowjobs together on a disinfectant-slick vinyl bench while watching some fucked up dutch bodybuilder couple violently simulating coitus on a fur dais... fuck it, i'd be down. you can still talk to the guy about college ball or whatever still, i assume, if it get too awkward.

dylannn, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:49 (eleven years ago) link

Internet says small salery + 3% commision

lag∞n, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 01:53 (eleven years ago) link

why does he think rockers wear gucci

there's something freudian going on with dad's loafers if you ask me

open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 03:41 (eleven years ago) link


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