buzz bissingers gucci addiction

Buzz Bissinger has a future in Gucci/leather fanfic

buzza bissinger

why couldn't buzz just buy a guitar and hire some session musicians to record a horrible vanity album

why does he have to express his rocker image via pants that NOT ONLY prominently showcase his crotch and BUT ALSO prompt its tumescence

why are you so cruel, buzz

no one wants to look at the outline of your dick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7IC5MtynLE

i just came here to post this. and i thought buzz couldnt own any harder

it's like he's possessed by Don Simpson

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:34 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

i do love the fact that he takes such pride in how many people 'compliment' him on his clothing, like he doesn't understand that most people just have the basic decency not to laugh directly in his face

― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:09 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha yes this is willful ignorance

what in the

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 12:45 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

someone needs to follow him around and get me a gif of him dancing in his leather pants a nightclub

and for ever after, whenever he douches out on twitter or vomits his egomaniac bile anywhere I can just look at the dancing gif and know that he's the most hilarious person alive

*at a nightclub

this guy owns harder than 99% of ilx, especially elmo

uh oh

uh?

lol

elmo: haha get a nutritionist u slob

*the ground rumbles as buzz, now in the form of a monster truck sized katamari ball made of gucci products, rolls over elmo and the light dies from his stupid eyes*

whatever u do elmo, dont agree to meet & fight h4a in person

Was I homosexual because so much of what I wore is associated with gays? I did experiment. And while I don't think it is my sexual being, I can tell you that gay men as a group are nicer, smarter, have a shitload more fun than straight whites. Was I veering toward becoming a dominant leather master in the S&M scene, the leather fetish an obvious influence in most of the clothing I purchased and in much of high fashion itself? I did experiment. Was I a closeted or maybe not so closeted transvestite? Tom Ford makeup is divine; the right foundation and cheek blush and eyeliner and lipstick can do wonders for the pallid complexion. Thigh-high boots add to any wardrobe, although walking on six-inch stilettos for hours is just a bitch and therefore confined to the privacy of my house, seen only by the UPS man, who at this point could not possibly be surprised by anything. But a dress or skirt just doesn't look good on me, and I can't ever do a thing with my hair. The look I was going for was more David Bowie androgynous. It wasn't successful.

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18ionzslzv8qujpg/original.jpg

i wouldn't mind his pants so much if he tightened up that body a little bit

#owning

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE SEX TOURISM??

I also went to Hong Kong and Macao with some friends. We went to sex clubs, many, many sex clubs with many, many women. We became tired. Four days seemed like four years.

― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 11:39 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

there were so many buzz-types around wan chai... so many

imo he was going to chinese sex clubs to pick up fashion tips

We became tired. From shopping. Four days seemed like four years.

I bought a skateboard. A leather skateboard. I ollied over my teenage self.

― lag∞n, Tuesday, March 26, 2013 3:35 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

LOL

This is all so amazing. Good job, everyone.

Then I see a leather jacket of red burgundy with gold military buttons. It goes to the waist. I like it, but it isn't quite distinctive enough. Something is missing, until I muse to the Perfect Shadow how great it would look if it could be lengthened into a full leather coat just above the knee, almost duster-style.

"We can do that. I'll make sure we can do that."

Nobody knows the price of the leather coat yet, since it falls in the custom-made category. I breathe in. I breathe out. It is too beautiful.

"I'll take it."

The approximate amount I spent on the four-day trip is $51,000. That is equivalent to roughly a full year's tuition at my son's college, Kenyon. I think about that. The self-indulgence is obvious. But it is my money, and I have paid his tuition for four years so he will not be saddled with any loans when he graduates this spring.

i just imagine the dude's kids waking up to 43 text messages on their phone and the horror slowly dawning on them as they piece it all together.

amazing, i love that he exists

feel bad for his UPS guy

i just imagine the dude's kids waking up to 43 text messages on their phone and the horror slowly dawning on them as they piece it all together.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, March 26, 2013 2:15 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Then I see a leather jacket of red burgundy with gold military buttons. It goes to the waist. I like it, but it isn't quite distinctive enough. Something is missing, until I muse to the Perfect Shadow how great it would look if it could be lengthened into a full leather coat just above the knee, almost duster-style.

how can i make this terrible jacket even terribler, almost duster-style i whisper to my perfect shadow

haha it's such a douche power move

"I have agreed to go to meetings for sex addiction, since clothing and sex for me have become one."

I read this on the first flight of my vacation last week and have been resisting the temptation to post it ever since. Thanks, guys.

sex tourism

Still looking around at the crowd, noticing across the runway at least twenty-five attendees from China, the Wild West for high fashion, I feel the insecure contradiction of pride and self-doubt.

buzz does look like a chinese teenager who dressed himself by shopping exclusively at 西单 in beijing

I bought some pretty nice new clothing over the weekend and kind of reveled in it. Perhaps this was a substitute for other types of debauchery?

what the hell is this shit

im also pretty sure this article is grounds for getting buzz's personal stylist who works at gucci fired

it's mostly about finding and wearing pants that give you erections xp

The Divine Stylist, born in Iran and given her wonderfully fiery temperament, would do a sushi on them if they gave any remote indication of encroachment.

i think yer mixing yer cultural metaphors & stereotypes buzz

it sounds like she is shitting on ppl who get too close

DJP if u are reading this article for the first time like i am, i recommend this be your soundtrack https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ

dayo otm

There was a phase in my life in the mid-1980s, after a year at Harvard on a journalism fellowship, that I took to wearing bow ties.

well... of course

I read the first page and went O_O and now I'm afraid to go back because I expect to loudly guffaw and that's not a good look when you're in a cubicle

i'm surprised he didnt' just take hundreds of photos of himself in leather ballhuggers holding giant Price Is Right price tags

there are several things I want from my pants and none of those things is "an erection"

you're doing it wrong then