Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Thank you for coming to our dinner theater's production of 'The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover.'"

nice -- i wanted to do a dinner theater gag but couldn't come up with the right play.

"Henceforth, our hollandaise will be a little darker..."

"He died doing what he loved: snorting coke and terrorizing line cooks."

“I have to admit it’s unusual for you all to have flies in your soup.”

"I'd like to welcome you all to our first celebrity chef roast."

"Ladies and gentlemen, Dennis is served."

"The backstroke."

"He died peacefully, in a rich beurre-blanc sauce with roasted new potatoes and haricot vert"

Yes

those of you who have your heads bowed in prayer shall find your eternal reward in heaven, those of you looking up at me are damned to eternity in hellfire

this comic sucks. nothing to work with here.

(the excuse of a coward)

sthg punny about a magician sawing him in half, the pain, the irony at stake as they are about to saw into their steaks but i am not punny/funny clearly this is the wrong thread for me lalala

"In conclusion, we can't recommend the soup."

enjoy the fugu.

"a fitting tribute to a man who in life hated cooking but loved irony"

"the cremation will take place this afternoon, 450 degrees for 25 minutes"

"I'd like to welcome you all to our wake and bake."

"So much for our daily bread"

Roberto, those are both great. the second is more suited to the contest, i guess.

The second one sounds like a winner.

So is your "Bake and Wake" one

yeah I like roberto's cremation one best so far. Wake and bake is funny but not the right style for the contest.

"And so we pay our last respects to a great leader, Fidel Gastro. Reagan had Reaganomics, Fidel had Gastroenteritis."

On that tip:

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... that's molecular gastronomy for you."

"Unfortunately it seems we've taken the concept of a 'roast' to literally..."

"I dipped my balls in the soup."

http://i.imgur.com/g9f7Irx.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/g9f7Irx.jpg

"I'M EGGCITED TO BE BACON THERAPY EGGAIN"

"The problem is I came first."

"I hope these sessions won't consist of you cracking a series of yolks."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like I'm cracking up."
"Don't worry, I've had rasher thoughts than that."

"Help me doctor, I have this compulsion to write 'Victoria Roberts' on the carpet every time I walk into a room."

"I know we're better off without them, but I miss the Wakey twins so much."

"I contain a living being, but you are merely the end of a tasty dynasty"

"I know I'm the one being analyzed here, but wearing shoes when you don't have feet seems like serious pedis envy to me."

"I'm an egg and you're a rasher of bacon! This is a totally unrealistic scenario! The cartoonist must be completely fucking mad!"

"Is this couch made from fried bread? It's really uncomfortable."

"Should I take my top off now, Mr. Cameron?"

BTW hate VR, I probably like Ros Chast better.

"To be quite honest, all I really want is some countertransference."

"A feather quill? Really?"

"Aha! I knew that William Shakespeare was really just an alias of Francis Bacon!"

"After the spontaneous abortion I've always felt like I've been carrying my baby with me."

"It feels like my soul is pecking at my shell, yearning to be rid of these mortal trappings."

"I was told you were the one to see to help me with my fear of frying pans."

"my last therapist was a vienna sausage but he had some weird ideas about my mom."

"I don't care whether someone is white, brown or green; mixing with ham is an abomination against God."

"I don't think I have daddy-issues just because I look at cocks on the internet."