Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"haha. boobs."

i've met tom leonard and i've never heard him be so clever in real life.

Im not that funny irl either, devise another proof

"And now we will fork their repos with our massive dongles"

loooool

"As you can see on page 3, Lysol now accounts for 23% of our yearly budget."

"Those fucking suppliers really left us holding our dicks on this one."

"Is this is breast we can do? Um, best. Sorry, I'm a little dicktracted. Um, distracted. Fuck me."

"This fellow Tom Leonard will pay dearly for his transgressions."

"Team, Chatroulette is falling on tough times in this economy."

"Sigh... No, Nancy, you cannot get pregnant from an Aeron chair."

"I have reason to believe that someone switched my Mountain Dew with urine."

Guys tom wouldnt touch any of those, up the game ffs

"Guys. Lysol. 23%. You do the math."

There it is

"Nobody laugh when I turn around or you're fired"

"Chair was gettin' sticky"

addition to yr first one: "we fell 37% below predicted growth for this year."

"I said causal Fridays. You know, where we'd determine the antecedent conditions that were responsible for consequent events? Come on, people!"

"As you'll see momentarily, the fiscal crisis has left me with only a stack of dimes."

"When I said dress code was business casual, I meant business casual at every other business except American Apparel! Of course, that doesn't quite explain why I'm not wearing clothes either, does it?"

"Activate interlock! Dynotherms connected. Infracells up. Mega thrusters are go. FORM VOLTRON!"

"I'm really digging these new casual fridays."

"Wow! This place is swank! Can I just say-- this ain't your father's gas chamber!"

"Hey, I think this is a one-way mirror."

"you know, i could have sworn the recruiter said this was a news agency."

"Lena, you seem cold. Are you cold?"

"I like staring at your nude bodies as I work. I find it... erotic."

"I bet my dick looks like ants to all those people."

"...and to think-- all those fuckers thought I couldn't build a successful Fortune 500 business where every employee experiences a daily regimen of degrading sexual humiliation and brutal genital torture."

"Let's focus, people"

"Hey, we should bring back the suggest ban button" xp

"let's focus, people" kills me

yes that is brilliant. it's what a real new yorker cartoon would have as its caption but doesn't stand a chance in hell for the competition.

Thomas C Leonard, can you go ahead and submit that for me? Thanks!

- Zach

"B-b-b-butt b-b-b-butt b-b-butt...!"

"You know what gets me hard? WINNING."

"That is my vision for the company. No ifs or ands."

^ that's a winner.

looooooool

you gotta submit that DJP

I already have

Takin no chances, good man

that is one of the few times i have actually lol'd at a NYer caption, rather than mildly blowing air out of my nostrils and thinking "HMMM!"

"Let's focus, people"

― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S),

"Mother... tell your children not to walk my wayyyyy.... tell your children not to hear my words... Mother..."

"Just then we heard a crash... Donald's dick broke the glass."

"Here's my impression of GG Allin."

boo you can only submit one entry

someone enter this: "Now that the entire board has bought in, we can introduce Emperor Businesswear to the public."

also it occurs to me that the "Christ, what an asshole" caption takes on a new dimension here

"I think we will be able to attract top talent with our open floor plans, flex time scheduling, child care, telecommuting options, and casual dress code."