See I agree that you can't just expect women as a minority-in-tech to have the confidence (in themselves, or in the frankly unlikely chances of the encounter having the desired result) to turn round and explain their dissatisfaction, so I didn't say or think she should have done that
bringing it to the attention of the conference makes it their call, not hers
OK, this makes sense, because that was all I was thinking of! It would be not just more "polite", which I agree is patronising bullshit policing, but also more accessible to confrontation-averse women who might also think they risked physical escalation if they got their camera out, or that Twitter might not be an instant source of yea-sayers for them
I guess I allowed myself to think that because the men were called up for contravening the harrassment rules the conference's call was already the same as hers, but it would have been too easy to ignore before she made it public
and yes I do prefer this to the argument that expressing any doubts about anyone else's actions is entitled and patronising (which it is, and I would do well to remember that more, but it's also what we're all doing here, whichever "side" anyone's on)
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 16:52 (eleven years ago) link
Having doubts about anyone's actions in any scenario ever is not nec patronizing. Making it an ish that a person in a non-priviliged group didn't do a thing the same way a privileged person would have, or thinks they would have, is the problem.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 16:59 (eleven years ago) link
fwiw here's the conference's official statement regarding the matter:
http://pycon.blogspot.com/2013/03/pycon-response-to-inappropriate.html
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 17:15 (eleven years ago) link
Lol at the comment
― Darth Icky (DJP), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
i don't understand why 'don't be an asshole' is such a difficult rule for tech bros to follow. YET IT SEEMS TO BE.
― maura, Wednesday, 20 March 2013 17:22 (eleven years ago) link
Growing up developing electronics rather than social skills, a computer won't tell you you are being an asshole. You need to hear that stuff.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 17:46 (eleven years ago) link
I'm glad I was raised by ILX and not some other message board. who knows what sort of jackassery I'd be committing right now.
― Heyman (crüt), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 17:48 (eleven years ago) link
btw I got off on the wrong foot w/this because whatever I read first made me think two guys were having a private moronic conversation between friends, not that tweeter + guy 1 were having a perfectly civil conversation when guy 2 started his "huh huh, dicks" routine at both of them and then wouldn't shut up when she signalled her dissatisfaction. when I read this later I was like "well that changes things a bit" when I should actually have thought "well that changes things completely"
also DJP's comment re egos was totally OTM but it pushed a button re something unrelated I've been thinking abt lately plus the implied "unlike some other people here" before "I try very hard not to let my ego make me into a raging dick" rubbed me the wrong way so I apologise for going off on that conflated w/ elmo's "patronising" comment
going to sign up for lessons on not letting my ego make me into a raging dick in future
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 18:11 (eleven years ago) link
our jackassery is cheeky and witty xp
btw spacecadet, it's not that it was "harassment" as much as talking like that is inappropriate and contributes to a hostile environment. No one was specifically targeted, as far as I can tell nobody made any comments specifically because they were sitting near someone who might be offended.
― ☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 18:13 (eleven years ago) link
haha I am so sorry, I was going for an implied "despite what my behavior would lead you to believe"!
― Darth Icky (DJP), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 18:14 (eleven years ago) link
can we please stop saying "raging dick"
― ☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 18:16 (eleven years ago) link
haha
― open the blood gates (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 18:21 (eleven years ago) link
DJP don't be sorry, that and your post about expectations of privacy were useful new perspectives on things which had been bothering me lately (or, how I began to realise that howling daily on the IA thread about other people's behaviour is a sign that I need to check my own ego and also calm the hell down)
mh, it's not that after 15 years as an ugly shy woman in the IT industry I have never felt fucking sick of the all-lads-together banter and the big "you don't belong here" flags it puts up but unable to say so: I do totally get that nobody needs to be specifically targeted to feel excluded by that stuff. but I also think you probably don't need to spend very long at a programming conference to hear something worse than dongle jokes, and while it would be great if even the dongle jokes didn't exist, if it had been a private conversation (which it wasn't) I think that would have been a completely different case, yes
obviously there are levels, like of course a "private conversation" of rape jokes behind a woman should still be called out, and no I don't know where I'd draw the line
― susuwatari teenage riot (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 18:36 (eleven years ago) link
^ otm font
― mister borges (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 18:45 (eleven years ago) link
firing them is obv total overreaction.
The correct pronunciation is "AWESOME overreaction", I think you'll find.
― Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 20 March 2013 21:19 (eleven years ago) link
*checks*
no
― mister borges (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 March 2013 21:40 (eleven years ago) link
but dmac a guy who wasn't an internet feminist lost his job
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 20 March 2013 21:47 (eleven years ago) link
sorry that was dickish. anyway the weight of the evidence seems to support my original assumption that taking a picture of the idiot was kind of weird
― k3vin k., Wednesday, 20 March 2013 21:48 (eleven years ago) link
thanks for not putting me on this thread everyone
― maura, Thursday, 21 March 2013 03:35 (eleven years ago) link
Wait til you see how much fun the ones about gender politics are.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:26 (eleven years ago) link
or the ones where white straighties offer us their moral rubric on hiv disclosure
― Woody Ellen (Matt P), Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:30 (eleven years ago) link
We have all of the fun here on the internet.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:30 (eleven years ago) link
we do!
― Woody Ellen (Matt P), Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:31 (eleven years ago) link
ilx is p tame as far as these things go really
― my god i only have 2 useless beyblade (silby), Thursday, 21 March 2013 04:32 (eleven years ago) link
wite straighty is my yahoo handle
― mister borges (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2013 08:40 (eleven years ago) link
but on AIM i'm privileged1
― mister borges (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2013 08:41 (eleven years ago) link
No, definitely awesome - there are overreactions all over the place (see as noted the comments to this and everything), it's awesome to see one pointing in the right direction.
― Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 21 March 2013 10:19 (eleven years ago) link
Thats not how shitty overreaction aggregation works imo but i can see the point
― mister borges (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2013 10:35 (eleven years ago) link
I and two other dad associates got called "wimpy" today by a female partner for wanting to be able to see our kids every day. Like I said, I'm glad that the older generation is going to die.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 March 2013 14:00 (eleven years ago) link
have you ever seen the tv show Damages, Hurting?
― ☠ ☃ ☠ (mh), Thursday, 21 March 2013 14:13 (eleven years ago) link
Should tweet her obv
― mister borges (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2013 14:23 (eleven years ago) link
;)
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 March 2013 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
I and two other dad associates got called "wimpy" today by a female partner for wanting to be able to see our kids every day. Like I said, I'm glad that the older generation is going to die.― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, March 21, 2013 10:00 AM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, March 21, 2013 10:00 AM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Ugh.
― how's life, Thursday, 21 March 2013 14:54 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah sickens me to see that type of ageism on ilx
― mister borges (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2013 15:07 (eleven years ago) link
Okay, so apparently Adria's workplace has been subject to vengeful DDoS attacks and now they've fired HER. What the...?
― emil.y, Thursday, 21 March 2013 16:47 (eleven years ago) link
jesus christ
― Darth Icky (DJP), Thursday, 21 March 2013 16:48 (eleven years ago) link
yeah just saw that, but I'm wondering if it might be fake? Just really hard for me to believe a company would be stupid enough to fire her over this.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 March 2013 16:48 (eleven years ago) link
http://venturebeat.com/2013/03/21/breaking-adria-richards-fired-by-sendgrid-for-outting-developers-on-twitter/
Does mention the possibility that the SendGrid twitter could've been hacked.
― emil.y, Thursday, 21 March 2013 16:49 (eleven years ago) link
what the fuck is going on
― Heyman (crüt), Thursday, 21 March 2013 16:55 (eleven years ago) link
(haha no i love this thread and everyone's RATIONALITY in it; yesterday i had an Incident Of Being Called Sexist and i was smarting a little bit)
― maura, Thursday, 21 March 2013 16:56 (eleven years ago) link
Was it mentioned in this thread that she was making dick jokes on Twitter a couple of days before this?:
https://twitter.com/adriarichards/status/312265091791847425
@skwashdI made it to US and A. I've received my traditional TSA welcoming - having my nuts fondled.
@adriarichards@skwashd you should put something in your pants next time...like a bunch of socks inside one...large...sock. TSA agent faint
― Walter Galt, Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:13 (eleven years ago) link
It has been mentioned *repeatedly* by tiring assholes who don't seem to understand the difference between a twitter feed and a conference. And I say this as someone who supports dongle jokes.
― emil.y, Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:14 (eleven years ago) link
What does that have to do with anything other than prove the point that there is a context where off-color remarks are acceptable and one where they aren't?
xp: what emil.y said OTM
― Darth Icky (DJP), Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:15 (eleven years ago) link
Fair enough. My issue with this thing, anyway, is that I don't think it's okay to take a direct picture of someone without their permission unless they're maybe in the act of committing a crime. I see that as a much greater violation of safety & privacy.
― Walter Galt, Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:16 (eleven years ago) link
i just think it's hilarious that her lame blog has cloudfare and is doing a decent job of fending off the DDOS while sendgrid is nuked.
― sanskrit, Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:16 (eleven years ago) link
sanskrit also OTM
― Darth Icky (DJP), Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
DDoS attacks are so lame and petty.
― Heyman (crüt), Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
welcome to the patriarchy, I guess.
I don't think it's okay to take a direct picture of someone without their permission unless they're maybe in the act of committing a crime. I see that as a much greater violation of safety & privacy.
― Walter Galt, Thursday, March 21, 2013 1:16 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark
lol do u ever go outside then
― 乒乓, Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:18 (eleven years ago) link
Pig people are out in force on this comments thread: https://www.facebook.com/SendGrid/posts/10151502570463967
― DavidM, Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:19 (eleven years ago) link