Yes piece by Dave Q

Julio OTM. Is q really leaving us? :(

It was actually for you. Alas, you were sad at the time.

(I refuse to engage with your complaints seriously because 1) they aren't new, therefore you are less transgressive than you think and 2) I don't buy them.)

FUNNIEST FUCKING ASSUMPTION OF THE YEAR! (and a late entry at that. Good job!)

I don't buy your arguments are what are mine?

Okay, so Judas' Priest's "Turbo Lover" was a failed fusion of pre-Moby electro orcus-dorkus of "Don't Kill The Whale" off Yes' "Tormato" and "Owner of a Lonely Heart" off Yes' "90125" album? Well, that's great, but what does it have to do with Yes? Oh yeah: Nothing! What was it that apparently put Dave Q in mind of Judas Priest? The sentence just before this reads that "Anderson rhymes 'throw' with 'try' and 'and you' with 'blind you,' like a Corey Hart from New Zealand." I guess this strange pronunciation must have been what reminded him of Judas Priest, despite the fact he says nothing about Judas Priest's vocal stylings whatsoever. Also, just to understand the sentence, you have to know who made the "Tormato" and "90125" albums because if you read Dave Q's sentence it sounds like the Buggles wrote it: "The Buggles album (1979’s Drama, recently reissued by Rhino alongside 1978’s Tormato and 1983’s 90125) had the best Deanscape and the weirdest vowel sounds in the history of singing." Now, of course, when he says "Buggles album," he means "Yes album" featuring ex-Buggles singer," but you'd have to know that already because you won't learn it here. Unless, both the Buggles and Yes have an album called "Drama" and he really is referring to a Buggles album, in which case this is even more confusing. Oh, you also should be familiar with Corey Hart's pronuciation and the New Zealand accent, because a "Corey Hart from New Zealand" is what the vowel sounds on this "Buggles album" sound like. Which has nothing to do with Judas Priest. However, the claim is made that the JP "Turbo" album is somehow a fusion of two very different Yes albums (neither of which sound like Turbo) with a little Wang Chung thrown in (riiight). There is also far-reaching reference to "pre-Moby (ha ha!) electro orcus-dorkus," which is oh-so descriptive of nothing, especially Judas Priest. But isn't this about Yes? Very, very bad writing!

If trailing off into an unsuccessful description of a Judas Priest album wasn't a genius enough way to write about Yes, how about following that bit of pointlessness up by starting off a new paragraph with a little Beach Boys reference, throwing in something about a can of tuna, and then degenerating once again into a completely obscure nonsensical non-point which requires not only the proper research/background, but also requires a good deal more of deciphering, all of which the reader should be expecting by this point, if he hasn't already sighed in disgust and turned the page:
"(SHE’S GIVIN’ ME EX-CETACEANS) “Don’t Kill the Whale” has a surprisingly sharp and sarcastic edge not usually expected from Jon Anderson or famous dead flute players: “Beauty/Vision/Do we offer much?” I’m going to throw this bowl of tuna away because it looks like dog food and I’m too lazy to make it into a sandwich. “Don’t Kill the Whale” would be remembered only as the fifth-best Disco-Sucks-disco (Dahldisco?) record ever (after “Miss You,” “Another One Bites the Dust,” “I Was Made for Lovin’ You,” and Don Felder’s “Heavy Metal”) if not for Rick Wakeman’s surrealist/intoxicated subversion of the material."

Rick Wakeman’s surrealist/intoxicated subversion of the material is what saves it from being the fifth-best Disco-Sucks-disco record ever? So what is it, then, if not that? Oh yeah, he forgot to mention what with all the hilarity going on! Was the parenthetical notation (Dahldisco?) really necessary in the middle of such a poorly articulated sentence or just a little show-offy to the point of detraction/distraction? This reminds me of when indie lyricists want to sound "deep" and so end up with something completely impenetrable to ward off all critics who "don't get it."

I would continue, but I don't feel the need.

To make this fair, I've decided to use run-on sentences like Dave Q and bold my comments while giving Dave Q's nearly-incoherent writing the benefit of a normal text presentation. This way, mine is a little more difficult to read, which just about levels the playing field. Otherwise, I would have to italicize Dave Q's writing and I really don't think it could stand up to that. It's hard enough to read already.

He never says it isn't that. He says that it "would be remembered" as that but is generally not because Wakeman's contributions obscure its discoid aspects.

If Trevor Horn, who was in Yes during the making of the two Yes albums in question, went on to produce that particular Priest album, it probably plenty to do with Horn, who was helping guide Yes, so yeah, there is a connection there, a really obvious one.

The Corey Hart point and the Judas Priest point are separate and distinct points, and read as such.

or he could mean it's the Yes album that sounds like the Buggles, which would work even if Horn hadn't been in both groups. "Buggles" here is a modifying adjective, like referring to someone's "Sabbath album" or "acoustic album" or "jazz-rock album."

"ce·ta·cean n.
Any of various aquatic, chiefly marine mammals of the order Cetacea, including the whales, dolphins, and porpoises, characterized by a nearly hairless body, anterior limbs modified into broad flippers, vestigial posterior limbs, and a flat notched tail."--Dictionary.com

As to ~~~~~~~'s point, none of this is obscure if you happen to be within a certain age range and have paid attention to the same details of music history as Dave Q. But, I'll bet there's a buttload of people who never heard Turbo, can't remember what Corey Hart sounds like (if they can even remember the name), aren't too familiar with a New Zealand accent, don't know who the Buggles are and either only know Yes from the 80s hits or didn't realize Yes sang those 80's songs and didn't know they hired the singer from the Buggles. And since all of this was taken for granted, it is both obscure and obtuse. While all of the above bands had a few popular hits, at this point, they are musical footnotes to many people with completely different interests; the stuff future trivia boardgames are made of. Yes is one of those bands whose music turns up in enough places that many might recognize it, but would have no clue who the band is, nevermind all the details of their historic timeline.

As to prince rupert's point, that may be true, which is why I asked "WHO is this written for?" It seems to me, about 10 people on ILM. I get the joke and I don't particularly care about Yes as people or defending them as musicians. I just think the article is completely stupid and funny for reasons that were never intended, much like j blount's comment, "reading's hard." Funny! For reasons never intended!

It reads to me as "stoner" in a really forced, dorky way.

EXCEPT that he wrote: ""Was this the same Trevor Horn who didn’t produce Judas Priest’s Turbo (1986)?"

I will take issue with this. What should a writer expect their audience to know? Should you never mention any artist other than the one you're talking about in a given article? Is it really THAT much of a leap of faith to assume people reading the music section of a Seattle weekly know who the fucking Buggles and Judas Preist are? Come on.

My point is that it is a total non sequitur, since he goes on to say something that has nothing to do with Corey Hart or Trevor Horn, except that Trevor Horn didn't produce "Turbo." I'm sure a lot of other people didn't produce Turbo, too!

xpost: Trevor Horn is one of the lynchpins of the entire article. Corey Hart has a walk-on appearance as a point of comparison.

"Come on?!" Are you fucking kidding? I had to strain my brain to remember Corey Hart. My friend didn't understand word one of this because as popular as all of these bands are to some people, it's not generally an overlapping group of people. And plenty of people, such as my friend, would be completely lost. If you're going to mention an artist, at least write clearly.

xpost: wowie, I made a typo!

worst thread ever? maybe....

"George. My name is George."

Ugly thread indeed.

Which is a shame because the Dave Q piece is fine in its way.

No need for all the bile afterwards.

Where is Dave Q these days?

he's living in london

2005 ILXors = easy to troll

When listening to "I Just Want to Use Your Love Tonight" on the radio yesterday, I finally got the "Outfield + Mars Volta" comment.

(I still think a bunch of generally nicer posts got lost.)