Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Obviously, with my experience to date being in the private sector, I'm used to batteries, but I'm sure I'll adapt"

The Cat/Mouse/Revolver finallists:

"Six rounds. Nine lives. You do the math."

"Calm down—I just came to get my things."

"Consider the effect of recoil."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/03/25/p465/130325_contest_p465.jpg

"Casual Friday isn't working out."

"The directors have told me that this isn't what they meant when they said we should have an atmosphere of 'health and efficiency' in the office."

"I can't stand any closer to this window because of my enormous erection."

"I fear the next round of cutbacks could be our last."

Holy shit Mark does that mean One of Us is a finalist??

that's, uh, not a caption

Six rounds. Nine lives. You do the math."
Submitted by T0m L30nard, Berkeley, Calif.

Is that one of us? Because it is not me.

You gotta agree, we all loved the idea of "transparency in business" – until "business" was on the rise.

https://www.facebook.com/thomas.c.leonard

I don't think this is an ILXor, or is he?

He's a dirty rotten caption-stealing cheat.

did i say rounds or bullets? Either way twas hardly worldwide unique. So he v likely came up wi'th himself and wont be reading this. But if you are, tom, i hope you die roaring you dirty bollocks.

i'd like to propose that we just assume that thomas c leonard is a lurker and stole it and deserves to die. YOU DESERVE TO DIE THOMAS C LEONARD

Well i didnt wanna say but obv

EVIDENCE

"Don't be stupid kid. Nine lives, six shots, you do the maths"

― poll that whitey music pfunkboy (darraghmac), Monday, March 4, 2013 9:42 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^ good one

― Eyeball Kicks, Monday, March 4, 2013 9:44 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nine lives, six shots, you do the math

leave it at that and that's the winner imo

― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, March 4, 2013 9:45 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha i fuckin knew the maths would need yankeed

― poll that whitey music pfunkboy (darraghmac), Monday, March 4, 2013 9:47 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

THOMAS C LEONARD changed the commas to periods, that's it!

Thomas C Leonard - "you will regret this"

Aw c'mon. I know they're identical and all, but Tom Leonard's answer was actually much better than dmac's imo.

"you will regret this"

obviously i say that as a friend

"So... are we doing this?"

(dude swapped them around, also. Still, moving on...)

"One more margin call like this..."

"Even as tail risk scenarios go, this is a doozy."

"Well, if you're so sure, you tell him what a naked short position really means."

"We need to discuss the budget."

"No, you listen Cassandra. The Central Risk office says we're fully covered."

"This is quite an unanticipated exposure to market conditions."

"And that is how I really came to be known as the London Whale."

"Now that the board has fully bought in, we can take the Emperor clothing line to the people."

"You're just not modeling them right. These are bespoke products."

"We can't *all* have the four of diamonds!"

Ya i think the emperor avenue shall be fruitful lets send it to the lurkers for finishing

"I mean, really - what are the odds that we'd ALL mis-read a department-wide email about "naked shorting and tradeable assets"?"

I posted a winning caption sometime back that i didn't submit. Great minds etc. This isn't rocket science, it's TEH NWE YROKRE

"Well SOMEONE is going to have to go get coffee."

"we must rebut this perception that we're motivated by naked greed. think, people, think!"

"i think i see the a/c unit arriving."

"no seriously you guys the tip is totally touching the ground"

"i wish once we could work late without taking half our time up with this eternal prada or armani debate."

Deep down, Clemence was still deeply uneasy with women in the boardroom.

"When I stand like this it looks like I'm peeing ants."

"Please, Rachel, you really must stop chewing on that pencil."

"well folks we've all seen the figures, and there's no point in dressing them up."

^ awes, tom is gonna shit himself when he sees that one

"i think i see the a/c unit arriving."

― don't call it a cloud rap i've been high for years (zvookster)

this, tho

"haha. boobs."

i've met tom leonard and i've never heard him be so clever in real life.

Im not that funny irl either, devise another proof