Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

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"Apple really needs to drop the skeuomorphism."

EZ Snappin, Monday, 11 March 2013 19:40 (eleven years ago) link

"We've been able to reduce workplace violence by 80% by getting rid of the humans."

Poliopolice, Monday, 11 March 2013 19:42 (eleven years ago) link

skeuomorphism one is awesome!

s.clover, Monday, 11 March 2013 20:05 (eleven years ago) link

"There's something about that chair that makes it look like it'd be bad for your back..."

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 11 March 2013 20:07 (eleven years ago) link

Pep Streebeck: "Well... it's just you... and me... *your balls*...
{pulls open a desk drawer} and this drawer, which inexplicably has PC VEY written on it.
"

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 11 March 2013 20:13 (eleven years ago) link

"Jenkins, what have I told you about trying to make this office a punchline in the New Yorker?"

Poliopolice, Monday, 11 March 2013 20:19 (eleven years ago) link

"power consumption is way down on the floor, but my wrist is killing me."

s.clover, Monday, 11 March 2013 20:24 (eleven years ago) link

^good

the 'dirty sprite' is implied (forksclovetofu), Monday, 11 March 2013 20:25 (eleven years ago) link

"I specifically hired these people because they're self starters!"

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 11 March 2013 20:28 (eleven years ago) link

"power consumption is way down on the floor, but these robots are killing me."

Poliopolice, Monday, 11 March 2013 20:29 (eleven years ago) link

"And I said to myself, 'Henderson, there's only one right way to store the world's biggest collection of self-winding watches.'"

s.clover, Monday, 11 March 2013 20:41 (eleven years ago) link

"So this is what it's like to work in the Windy City..."

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 11 March 2013 20:43 (eleven years ago) link

"I wish they'd all stop humming Swan Lake."

Øystein, Monday, 11 March 2013 20:46 (eleven years ago) link

"A systematic overview of our productivity data suggests that our overall efficiency levels are slightly lower with the robots compared with our previous employee arrangement. However, after factoring in path dependencies and switching costs, we recommend managing the current system to failure before executing a changeover. I would expect that to occur in 8 to 10 years, conservatively, though it could be as many as 18, based on comparison studies in similar industries. The full details of the report can be found in the Employee Productivity Data document that's located in the Productivity folder on the corporate intranet, but feel free to connect with me later if you have any specific concerns."

Poliopolice, Monday, 11 March 2013 20:50 (eleven years ago) link

Otm

darrrrggghhh daylight savings (darraghmac), Monday, 11 March 2013 20:51 (eleven years ago) link

"So we arrange a cosplay day at work and THIS is how all these sarcastic fuckers show up."

Øystein, Monday, 11 March 2013 21:21 (eleven years ago) link

"they're worthless at the water cooler, but their webinars are fantastic!"

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, 11 March 2013 21:23 (eleven years ago) link

i don't get the swan lake one? wouldn't 'nutcracker' make more sense?

s.clover, Monday, 11 March 2013 21:34 (eleven years ago) link

Dunno, seems both are pretty popular in music boxes &c? Last one I saw (two weeks ago) had a little spinning ballerina + swan lake.

Incidentally, I've had 'California Girls' stuck in my head since writing that post.

Øystein, Monday, 11 March 2013 21:38 (eleven years ago) link

but the nutcracker soldiers are actually windup toys.

Poliopolice, Monday, 11 March 2013 21:52 (eleven years ago) link

Well damn. I didn't even think of that.

Øystein, Monday, 11 March 2013 22:02 (eleven years ago) link

"Drilling into the back does hurt a bit, but nearly everyone prefers it to the old placement."

Øystein, Monday, 11 March 2013 23:17 (eleven years ago) link

"If they figure out they can wind themselves, we're finished!"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 11 March 2013 23:39 (eleven years ago) link

"Obviously, with my experience to date being in the private sector, I'm used to batteries, but I'm sure I'll adapt"

latest worst poster (darraghmac), Monday, 11 March 2013 23:43 (eleven years ago) link

The Cat/Mouse/Revolver finallists:

"Six rounds. Nine lives. You do the math."

"Calm down—I just came to get my things."

"Consider the effect of recoil."

Mark G, Monday, 18 March 2013 11:38 (eleven years ago) link

"Casual Friday isn't working out."

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 18 March 2013 11:41 (eleven years ago) link

"The directors have told me that this isn't what they meant when they said we should have an atmosphere of 'health and efficiency' in the office."

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 18 March 2013 11:53 (eleven years ago) link

"I can't stand any closer to this window because of my enormous erection."

Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 18 March 2013 11:54 (eleven years ago) link

"I fear the next round of cutbacks could be our last."

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, 18 March 2013 12:11 (eleven years ago) link

Holy shit Mark does that mean One of Us is a finalist??

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 18 March 2013 12:15 (eleven years ago) link

that's, uh, not a caption

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 18 March 2013 12:16 (eleven years ago) link

Six rounds. Nine lives. You do the math."
Submitted by T0m L30nard, Berkeley, Calif.

Mark G, Monday, 18 March 2013 12:23 (eleven years ago) link

Is that one of us? Because it is not me.

mister borges (darraghmac), Monday, 18 March 2013 12:27 (eleven years ago) link

You gotta agree, we all loved the idea of "transparency in business" – until "business" was on the rise.

Tuomas, Monday, 18 March 2013 12:41 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.facebook.com/thomas.c.leonard

I don't think this is an ILXor, or is he?

Tuomas, Monday, 18 March 2013 12:44 (eleven years ago) link

He's a dirty rotten caption-stealing cheat.

emil.y, Monday, 18 March 2013 12:56 (eleven years ago) link

did i say rounds or bullets? Either way twas hardly worldwide unique. So he v likely came up wi'th himself and wont be reading this. But if you are, tom, i hope you die roaring you dirty bollocks.

mister borges (darraghmac), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:08 (eleven years ago) link

i'd like to propose that we just assume that thomas c leonard is a lurker and stole it and deserves to die. YOU DESERVE TO DIE THOMAS C LEONARD

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:16 (eleven years ago) link

Well i didnt wanna say but obv

mister borges (darraghmac), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:20 (eleven years ago) link

EVIDENCE

"Don't be stupid kid. Nine lives, six shots, you do the maths"

― poll that whitey music pfunkboy (darraghmac), Monday, March 4, 2013 9:42 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^ good one

― Eyeball Kicks, Monday, March 4, 2013 9:44 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nine lives, six shots, you do the math

leave it at that and that's the winner imo

― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, March 4, 2013 9:45 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha i fuckin knew the maths would need yankeed

― poll that whitey music pfunkboy (darraghmac), Monday, March 4, 2013 9:47 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:27 (eleven years ago) link

THOMAS C LEONARD changed the commas to periods, that's it!

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:28 (eleven years ago) link

Thomas C Leonard - "you will regret this"

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:31 (eleven years ago) link

Aw c'mon. I know they're identical and all, but Tom Leonard's answer was actually much better than dmac's imo.

acid in the style of tenpole tudor (NickB), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:34 (eleven years ago) link

"you will regret this"

obviously i say that as a friend

( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Monday, 18 March 2013 13:37 (eleven years ago) link

"So... are we doing this?"

Darth Icky (DJP), Monday, 18 March 2013 14:00 (eleven years ago) link

(dude swapped them around, also. Still, moving on...)

Mark G, Monday, 18 March 2013 14:09 (eleven years ago) link

"One more margin call like this..."

s.clover, Monday, 18 March 2013 14:25 (eleven years ago) link

"Even as tail risk scenarios go, this is a doozy."

s.clover, Monday, 18 March 2013 14:25 (eleven years ago) link

"Well, if you're so sure, you tell him what a naked short position really means."

s.clover, Monday, 18 March 2013 14:26 (eleven years ago) link


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