Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"With a key between your shoulderblades you speak only in vowels."

"These guys really have the wind in their sales. GET IT? GET IT????"

"This team really closes sales like clockwork."

"I hate to say it, but this department is underperforming and needs to be wound down."

"Finally we've discovered why the New Yorker caption contest is so bad."

"We'll be replacing this department with monkeys by Q3."

"And this concludes our tour of [much-maligned company that features heavily in recent news]."

"...I just think that a clockwork orange would take up less space."

"If you think this is bad, wait until you see our Sim City server farm."

Terrible, awful cartoon makes me just want to mock pc vey and his juvenilely transparent concept of what it is to work in an office for a company for, like, money, maaaan

"I never should have told the executives to focus more on touring the workforce."

"we prefer the term automafun"

"What is this, some kind of wind-up?"

Please no more clockwork or windup ones please

"So, Johnson, do you have a really long neck and really sharp chin, or is that your nose, or . . .?"

"more like Wind-up NERD Chronicle, amirite?"

lol

"It's called Google Key" sounds like the sort of thing they'd bite on

"Look at these pencil-pushing plebian fools. I spit on them and all the other 99% of America. DIE IMPOVERISHED SCUM, DIE!!!"

"I, Robot."

"Please no more clockwork or windup ones please"

"These guys can really crank out the work..."

"Do you ever fell like you're just a cog in a machine?"

"If only Babbage were around today..."

"I can't help but notice there's something different today here at Swastikubicle Industries."

"Apple really needs to drop the skeuomorphism."

"We've been able to reduce workplace violence by 80% by getting rid of the humans."

skeuomorphism one is awesome!

"There's something about that chair that makes it look like it'd be bad for your back..."

Pep Streebeck: "Well... it's just you... and me... *your balls*...
{pulls open a desk drawer} and this drawer, which inexplicably has PC VEY written on it."

"Jenkins, what have I told you about trying to make this office a punchline in the New Yorker?"

"power consumption is way down on the floor, but my wrist is killing me."

^good

"I specifically hired these people because they're self starters!"

"power consumption is way down on the floor, but these robots are killing me."

"And I said to myself, 'Henderson, there's only one right way to store the world's biggest collection of self-winding watches.'"

"So this is what it's like to work in the Windy City..."

"I wish they'd all stop humming Swan Lake."

"A systematic overview of our productivity data suggests that our overall efficiency levels are slightly lower with the robots compared with our previous employee arrangement. However, after factoring in path dependencies and switching costs, we recommend managing the current system to failure before executing a changeover. I would expect that to occur in 8 to 10 years, conservatively, though it could be as many as 18, based on comparison studies in similar industries. The full details of the report can be found in the Employee Productivity Data document that's located in the Productivity folder on the corporate intranet, but feel free to connect with me later if you have any specific concerns."

Otm

"So we arrange a cosplay day at work and THIS is how all these sarcastic fuckers show up."

"they're worthless at the water cooler, but their webinars are fantastic!"

i don't get the swan lake one? wouldn't 'nutcracker' make more sense?

Dunno, seems both are pretty popular in music boxes &c? Last one I saw (two weeks ago) had a little spinning ballerina + swan lake.

Incidentally, I've had 'California Girls' stuck in my head since writing that post.

but the nutcracker soldiers are actually windup toys.

Well damn. I didn't even think of that.

"Drilling into the back does hurt a bit, but nearly everyone prefers it to the old placement."

"If they figure out they can wind themselves, we're finished!"

"Obviously, with my experience to date being in the private sector, I'm used to batteries, but I'm sure I'll adapt"

The Cat/Mouse/Revolver finallists:

"Six rounds. Nine lives. You do the math."

"Calm down—I just came to get my things."

"Consider the effect of recoil."