The Witcher -- violence, sex, and alchemy as part of your daily balanced breakfast

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witcher 2 takes awhile to get going. it has maybe the worst prologue i have ever seen. a ton of dialogue and random game mechanics that have nothing to do with the game. spends a lot more time on boring backstory then showing you how to play.

its good enough that i am still playing but

- quests that you can either google or spend 6 hours trying to solve are bullshit
- the target lock system of fighting makes fighting vs groups stupidly difficult
- no fast travel gets really old really fast i.e. you end up running the same path probably 20 times per "chapter".

if you like dragon age games, you'll probably be on its level.

bnw, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 21:19 (six years ago) link

hmm thx for the responses everybody but i think i'll pass

i'm kind of burned out on engrossing but mechanically/narratively frustrating rpgs (read: rpgs) right now

goole, Wednesday, 27 February 2013 21:25 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

n e 1 played witcher 1 enhanced edition? i know i can't run 2 on my lolmacbook but apparently i meet the specs for 1. the one for mac is a wineskin which i didn't realize steam was in the habit of selling

am0n, Friday, 24 May 2013 20:45 (six years ago) link

ok

joe bogus (am0n), Friday, 31 May 2013 14:54 (six years ago) link

i loved witcher 1 for a while but never finished it. lots of hokey problems and i set the voice acting to russian so the performances wouldn't bother me as much, but if you're into classic late-90s rpgs (fallout, torment, etc) it's an acceptable substitute. i still love the corrupt decaying slavic fantasy world even if some of its Look! Racism! moments are heavyhanded, and i dig the idea of your being a professional monster-hunter in an age when the really dangerous monsters are less slavering-fangs-in-the-woods and more well-dressed-diplomats-at-parties. be sure to download the TITTIES PATCH (it does other things too, i guess): http://witcher.wikia.com/wiki/The_Witcher:_Enhanced_Edition_Director%27s_Cut

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:09 (six years ago) link

combat is diablo with one extra mechanic, so dumb fun until it isn't.

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:19 (six years ago) link

lol ( @ Y @ ) patch. did you play 2 at all

joe bogus (am0n), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:51 (six years ago) link

i did not.

looking upthread i found a post of mine that sums up why w1 was hard to resist for me:

"they wore long grey coats over their armor and thought they had fooled me," a girl said to me in her apartment, "but i learned to spot their kind in university." later we had sex, of course.

the white queen and her caustic judgments (difficult listening hour), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:54 (six years ago) link

haha. i'm not sure whether that makes me want to play it more or less

Nhex, Friday, 31 May 2013 18:10 (six years ago) link

Tried playing 1 in Polish, but the language was so harsh I didn't enjoy it. Didn't try Russian.

Hockey Drunk (kingfish), Friday, 31 May 2013 18:22 (six years ago) link

i might go back and try the polish trick.

what got me was, i put it in hard so the combat wasn't trivial, but it was not-trivial in such a boring way i wished i'd put it on easy so i could basically skip it

the bitcoin comic (thomp), Saturday, 1 June 2013 22:12 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A2bDHd-nUM

am0n, Tuesday, 11 June 2013 19:32 (six years ago) link

uh wait thats not even the trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpcjUkG2FI4

am0n, Tuesday, 11 June 2013 19:36 (six years ago) link

$3.39 on steam

am0n, Saturday, 15 June 2013 20:15 (six years ago) link

so witcher 1 sux. o well.

am0n, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:14 (six years ago) link

fiddly tactical gritty fantasy rpg seems like it wd be right up my alley but i couldn't get thru the tutorial areas of this. looks really labored and unenjoyable.

goole, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:27 (six years ago) link

witcher 2 i mean

silly ass intro movie too.

goole, Monday, 17 June 2013 17:27 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0i88t0Kacs

am0n, Thursday, 15 August 2013 17:09 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx8kQ4s5hCY

͡ᵒಠಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠಠᵒ (am0n), Wednesday, 20 August 2014 01:18 (five years ago) link

eight months pass...

soon?

😂 (am0n), Wednesday, 6 May 2015 19:18 (four years ago) link

i think i'm going to skip this. Souls games have ruined me, i don't have the patience anymore for rpg conventions like "dialogue" (also endless quests/objectives, maps, etc).

lil urbane (Jordan), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 15:52 (four years ago) link

holy shit @ this game tbh

there is an absurd amount of dialogue and very little combat compared to most of these games but the red dead-style 5am wilderness trekking with random little vignettes to stumble on seems to be the real star of the show

I got it yesterday and got as far as Charles Dance, between staring at moving foliage and sunsets

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 16:02 (four years ago) link

true, the video i watched was surprisingly reminiscent of Red Dead. would love a next-gen sequel to that.

lil urbane (Jordan), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 16:06 (four years ago) link

speaking of Souls games, pretty sure the ol' Crestfallen Warrior turns up about 0:02 in to this

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 17:53 (four years ago) link

can u skip cutscenes in this

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 21:09 (four years ago) link

i've heard the controls suck like just walking around and picking up stuff is a pain in the ass

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 19 May 2015 21:10 (four years ago) link

This thing is getting insanely good scores.

I tried to play Witcher 2 but couldn't get a handle on the controls.

polyphonic, Tuesday, 19 May 2015 22:22 (four years ago) link

This seems like a good deal btw

polyphonic, Wednesday, 20 May 2015 21:08 (four years ago) link

16 social media avatars you say?!?!?!?!?

i think i'm 10 hours in and still in the beginning area. a peasant walked by and said "welcome to our shithole." :D

😂 (am0n), Monday, 25 May 2015 18:07 (four years ago) link

this game is pretty much one of the greats, no time for the people inventing flimsy reasons to dislike it

c.70% of the people in the first act are from Birmingham

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 25 May 2015 18:29 (four years ago) link

the bandits def sound like it

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 26 May 2015 01:12 (four years ago) link

i got to charles dance. this game is hueg

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 26 May 2015 01:14 (four years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/a9ecRJQ.gifv

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 26 May 2015 16:08 (four years ago) link

This game is great. In addition to everything noted elsewhere, how is it possible that I'm 10 hours into an open-world(ish) game and have yet to encounter a single side-mission that sucks/is boring/feels like a make-work project. Also, that trading-card minigame is so good--am I wrong that winning doesn't seem to give you any real reward in the overall game? It's like your character has a (super nerdy) hobby. And that sounds TERRIBLE but the card game itself is so good it seems like genius that they don't force you or even encourage you to play.

(I have been giggling at that goose gif for like 10 mins.)

antexit, Thursday, 28 May 2015 14:39 (four years ago) link

the apparent confused pause as the goose overtakes him slays me)

Feel like the immersiveness of the world means they can get away with more missions that are set-piece clue-finding trails or rudimentary choose your own adventure things where you just talk to people or decide an outcome without dismembering anybody; in LA Noire that was pretty much the whole game but it's just a tool in the box here

Conversely, yesterday a small child lured me into an ambush by vengeful bandits, and I immediately hit one of them with one of those critical animations that grotesequely severs their head, shoulder and arm in one chunk, and I thought oh this is really pretty terrible behaviour

is anyone bothering to play this on one of the top two difficulties? After a particularly arduous escort mission I bumped it down to the highest difficulty where meditating will still restore your health, not fancying 70 more hours of having to fund, purchase and eat ten onions everytime I carelessly vault off a slightly too high balcony and lose half my health

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 28 May 2015 18:30 (four years ago) link

do you have to saute the onions first or just eat them raw

lil urbane (Jordan), Thursday, 28 May 2015 18:58 (four years ago) link

No you can't sleep in a bed or cook raw food in this game although you can incinerate beehives with magic

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 28 May 2015 20:18 (four years ago) link

i haven't quite figured out the card game. whats the penalty for losing, does the winner take your cards?? anyway it is cool that in this massive game is a pretty deep mini-game. also made me laugh when i was helping some guy one of the dialogue options was "game of gwent?". its like fuck your side-quest for the moment, play me!

had a guard call me "shiteater" and "you're paler than oaty shite"

😂 (am0n), Friday, 29 May 2015 15:48 (four years ago) link

i'm playing on blood & broken bones which is 2nd highest difficulty. hasn't been too bad so far, i think you still regen health in daytime or i just grabbed a perk that does that? i keep forgetting to buy food though which fucks me over occasionally

😂 (am0n), Friday, 29 May 2015 15:53 (four years ago) link

http://gfycat.com/BigPoshAsianwaterbuffalo

😂 (am0n), Tuesday, 2 June 2015 14:12 (four years ago) link

:D

bizarro gazzara, Tuesday, 2 June 2015 14:15 (four years ago) link

I'm playing on second-hardest difficulty as well and the health thing hasn't much bothered me so far. I've never bought food once. You just use the vitality-regen buff and eat some dogmeat every once in awhile. I don't think I'd want the combat to be much easier than it is, though I wish there was a quicksave hotkey on ps4.

antexit, Tuesday, 2 June 2015 19:31 (four years ago) link

made me lol re: bandits

http://i.imgur.com/Jw72AwH.jpg

😭 (am0n), Thursday, 4 June 2015 17:35 (four years ago) link

This game makes Skyrim look like such an unbelievable turd

The next Elder Scrolls game announcement is in danger of being on some all-new hotmail level of pitiful obsolete desperation

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 8 June 2015 14:10 (four years ago) link

ha. i think they'll be ok. new ES game is likely a few years from being announced anyway.

i really want to play this, but no way do i have the time for it right now.

circa1916, Monday, 8 June 2015 15:17 (four years ago) link

its a huge timesink but its great. if anything i hope this sends bethesda back to the drawing board on a lot of shit

😭 (am0n), Monday, 8 June 2015 16:03 (four years ago) link

I am a grown man and I will no longer accept loading screens when I go into a building

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 8 June 2015 16:12 (four years ago) link

since no one else is playing this we can talk about quests right. princess goat made me lol, and this guy

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pHWKTVwnOlo/maxresdefault.jpg

😭 (am0n), Monday, 8 June 2015 18:00 (four years ago) link

yeah people mostly like it for all the weirdo side stories and world building. i never finished the main quest, same as all open world games

ciderpress, Monday, 20 August 2018 19:56 (one year ago) link

I finished it on accident

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Thursday, 23 August 2018 22:03 (eleven months ago) link

i find the story more amusing than necessarily good but it still has some sense of character to it and a consistency within its own world. some of the skeillige scenes were hilarious, as an irish person. the acting and the diff accents from diff parts of ireland.

it's weird reading the diff reactions to it. i never played a single hand of gwent after the first 10-minute foray, and i was a magic the gathering nerd in my teens. just couldn't get into it.

prob be surprised if i ever enjoy a game as much as this tho i am already looking forward to their cyberpunk game.

FernandoHierro, Thursday, 23 August 2018 22:21 (eleven months ago) link

ten months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSqi-8kAMmM

in a world

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (one month ago) link

where you have to change your sword to suit your enemy

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (one month ago) link

one butt is

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (one month ago) link

flexin

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:49 (one month ago) link

*slow motion shot of butt muscles gently breathing in and out*

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 18:50 (one month ago) link

I just started this today ! I mean III. I hate starting games though and this one seems massive but I will try.

L'assie (Euler), Sunday, 21 July 2019 19:53 (one month ago) link

One butt cheek is for human enemies, the other butt cheek is for monsters.

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 21 July 2019 20:27 (one month ago) link

that explains the unbalanced tingling when the witcher walks through the woods

Karl Malone, Sunday, 21 July 2019 20:32 (one month ago) link

henry cavill sucks and is bad, therefore this show will suck and be bad

^

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 21 July 2019 23:06 (one month ago) link

Also the game is bad.

Coelacanth Green (Leee), Sunday, 21 July 2019 23:27 (one month ago) link

Nah.

All three instalments are worth playing. 1-2 do certain things better than 3.

pomenitul, Monday, 22 July 2019 11:17 (one month ago) link

“One of the things that probably shifted the most once we cast Henry is that Geralt speaks a lot less than I initially intended. In the books, Geralt’s actually quite chatty. He talks a lot. What I found, though, is that on-screen—especially with Henry portraying him—a lot can be done in looks and in grunts. Henry’s a big grunter. I mean that in the best way possible,” she said.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/heres-why-the-witcher-auditioned-207-other-guys-for-ger-1836600508

Coelacanth Green (Leee), Monday, 22 July 2019 22:05 (one month ago) link

oh he’s a big grunter alright


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