ANNOUNCEMENT - CALL FOR PITCHES - MAX AND LAMP FILM PRODUCTION COMPANY LLC

winthrope louis

lol is this a trading places ref

looooove that film

haha yeah. "brunmuiller" is a reference to a pr agency fyi

xpost

90s THROWBACK CRIME CAPER (originally thought of by gbx, age 13, after seeing Pulp Fiction...also his mom came up w/some crucial plot points...being pitched for historical interest more than anything, it is actually a shitty movie)

guys rob a bank and accidentally shoot a FedEx guy that they mistake for a security guard. they make a quick getaway, squabbling (<---hilarious dialogue!), and in their haste/distraction, nearly hit an old lady crossing the street. they swerve and crash the getaway car. nearby is an ambulance, which they hijack. TURNS OUT that inside the ambulance is a seriously injured young man and what appears to be his girlfriend. as the plot unfolds, we learn:
* the robbers are father and son
* the girlfriend is IN FACT a prostitute
* the young man is IN FACT a priest
* the priest was in the ambulance because the prostitute's pimp beat him up when he tried to prevent the pimp from beating the prostitute
* the pimp was beating the prostitute because she had refused to sleep with the priest and had turned up empty-handed
* the prostitute had refused to sleep with the priest because she was in his congregation and neither of them realized this until it was time to do the deed (wigs, etc?)
* (the prostitute was a model parishioner, singing in the choir and working bake sales and the like)
* the priest was getting a prostitute because he had had some worrying "feelings" about the older choir boys lately and wanted to confirm to himself and to God that he was a red-blooded man
* SOOOOO....it also TURNS OUT that the father of the father/son robber duo had been molested by a priest, and HATES priests. this creates tension, as does his lewd treatment of the prostitute
* the son of the father/son robber duo is gay but hasn't told his father. there is sexual tension between him and the priest. this may create problems later.
* I think there was like a paramedic or something that I'm forgetting?

Anyway. The robbers hold everyone hostage and go on the lam. At one point, they switch from the ambulance to a church van, procured by prostitute, acting under teh guise of dutiful parishioner (<--- hilarious dialogue). They are pursued by the pimp, the law, and the FedEx guy's brother/best friend/whatever, who is deranged. Never really fleshed it out too much further than that, except that it probably ends in the wilderness somewhere, with a few people dying, and the son and the priest hooking up, the prostitute and either a cop or the FedEx-revenger hooking up, and some other stuff.

NB -- i only really came up with "who's in the ambulance??" thing. my mom did most of the legwork on the crazy gay/catholic/molestation stuff.

she is from ireland, btw

I think the only casting decision made at the time was that Rosie Perez would be the prostitute w/a heart of gold

also:

re-telling of Sealand's history but with cheap, tiny models/sets and the entire cast played by local 3rd graders. real gondry vibe to this one

as seen on the peyton manning thread: point break but with bike messengers, set on the mean streets of chicago. neither funny nor cutting edge, but likely to make some cash if it can carve out a cheesy cult classic status a la quicksilver or say aspen extreme

the name of this awesome movie is

(wigs, etc?)

uhoh i killed it

the young clean celebrity (zac ephron?) shedding his goody-goody image by swearing a lot, doing drugs

working title (stolen from CC Roast of Bob Saget): The Boy Who Cried Cunt

btw this whole thread is testimony to why even among delightful, smart young ppl, cinema apprec is dead.

Dr. Crusty

Aged snarky movie reviewer, forced to watch a remake of Gone With The Wind starring James VanDerBeek and Leighton Meeser, falls in love with a cute young popcorn jock who doesn't know Bergmann from Bay. Hilarity ensues as the couple falls in love and tries to merge their DVD collection. . .

But, as in a classic tragedy, everything goes wrong, and they both end up killing themselves.

VanDerGeek is 'aged' eh -- at least youve got yr target demo.

also guess what Dr. M. i can like arty movies and appreciate them and i can also appreciate cheesy shit too, don't fence me in.

i watched blindness last night which contained many of the terrible qualities of both!

i would watch dr. crusty fo sho

There's no time for "cheesy shit" -- "guilty pleasures" are an oxy-mo-ron

Action
GAMES OF GLORY

The Chinese discovered a new communication system that will create a lot of jobs and trouble in alliance with Russia.The Russians find a better way to use that new system and decided to steal the project and trying to blame the USA along the way.Unfortunately for them ,at the present time USA intelligence services counts with the help of the very best agent they ever had,extremely intelligent,that finds out what the Russians are up to...So she make her own plans to steal the project without involving any American services,to do so she recruits some mercenaries,among them is her older sister that she believes is dead ,even though she never was to sure about it.According to her own words told to some "colleague" of her:"I wish that she made up her mind and decide to live or remain dead,I am getting tire to come to her funerals every now and then..."The mission is fulfil according to her plans and the Russians got the blame for it,and have some trouble to keep the relationship with Chine in good terms....

great ideas corujuca! who do you foresee playing the agent??

i apologize for not writting the actors, here they go,
Katee Sackhoff, lead
Liv Tyler her older sister
The rest are supporting actors and actresses,so it could be anyone with some exparience in acting.

guys i just had my first badass standing around arguing on speakerphone fight with a producer. it was awesome. i think i won. 20%? fuck you, buddy. 35%. i will let you know how it turns out.

nice one!

im willing to go 25% tops

final deal: 30% + £1500. let's hug it out. </braggin in 09>

niiiiiiice

just so u know me and lamp are big hardasses, we dont give a lot but we will get u an oscar no bullshittin

documentary about diddy tweeting

if you can find someone who'll act like a strong lawyer i've got an idea

weekenders
spring 2011

a series of sketches limning the lives of the professional class at the turn of the 21st century, centering around archer park (iddo goldberg) and reade mason (ryan mcpartlin) and a party being held at archer's parents house on the outskirts of new canaan, ct. the narrative unfolds to the pattern of joyce's series of stories "dubliners" with the last few scences echoing the dead as mason and his girlfriend (january jones) prepare to leave for the party

^^^ proof that me n max can deliver u oscars

lol triple-posting but: congrats caek!!!!

thanks guys, i will put some of this money into MALFPCLLC

Thinking of throwing this over to Apatow but I'll give you guys the first pich. Weekend at Bernie's remake. Seth Rogan and Jason Schwartzman in for McCarthy and Silverman as Larry and Richard. Elizabeth Banks as the love interest, cameo by Will Ferrell as obnoxious drunken party guest, and William H. Macy as Bernie.

we need to shoot a serialized remake of taxi driver starring ramz - distributed via tweets of course

― ice cr?m, Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:27 PM (14 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

loooool was cummin here to post:

"tweeter"
winter 2011

special agent cassiopeia dark hasnt felt the same since her partner and lover case millner was killed by the deranged psychopath who had been stalking her. shes drinking in the daytime and on extended leave from her job at the fbi. so when someone sets up a twitter account in case's name her friends and co-workers advise her to forget about it, move on, focus on getting herself back together rather than some teenager's bad joke. but the tweets keep getting more and more personal, more disturbing and cassiopeia has to hunt down her demons 140 characters at a time.

i can see that with maybe elisha cuthbert as cassiopeia dark?

totally

self-aware catchphrase: "the tweets are coming from inside the house!"

also obv needs an expository scene where the hip IT person/love interest (shia leboeuf) explains twitter to her/the audience

this may seem like a hackneyed or limited mindspace but i want explore the backstage dynamic at a kids tv show

seems ripe

do a treatment and well take a look at it

ya tbh i have long since forgiven most of my tormentors, i mean i never got my fingers broken but i eventually had sex and got invited to parties and stuff so i guess it all evened out

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Friday, July 17, 2009 11:45 AM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thank u to s1ocki for making the connection. maybe show this to linklater?

"black friday" - shoppers who show up at a midnight sale on black friday are terrorized by a serial killer who locks them in and dispatches with them one by one. gruesome death modes: bled to death from paper cuts made with cut-out coupons, crushed to death between shopping carts, etc. their only chance is a disgraced marine who only came to the sale to get his daughter the perfect xmas present, now he'll have to fight his way out if he wants to see her again.

see, i can actually see that one being made

haha thats really a pretty good movie idea imo

only if marine gets played by steve buscemi imo

shock reveal at end of movie = serial killer is sinbad reprising role from jingle all the way

Working Title: Turtles, Turtles Everywhere!
Release Date: June 26, 2011

Sally May Jenkins (Jane Fonda) and Billy Joe Jenkins (Beau Bridges) are quirky Louisiana turtle farmers (and part-time grandparents!) who love only one thing more than spending time with their eccentric farm family in a colorful Cajun setting: raising and caring for thousands of turtles! But when their funky swamp life is threatened by evil Yankee developer Troy Burnheart (Bradley Cooper), can the Jenkins clan manage to rally the community to save the turtle farm, or will Burnheart and his cronies succeed in draining the swamp to build a shopping mall?