worst / most awkward dates

when I moved to San Diego 8 years ago, I spend the first year accepting ANY date. there were LOADS of losers. I didn't really date before - being somewhat a serial monogamist - so I didn't have a good set of rules like "don't have them meet you at your house" or "don't take them to your favorite place until you know you want them around".

Many, nah most of these dates were dudes who randomly found me on myspace. So this dude wants to go to dinner and show. I can't remember what band was playing at the casbah that night but seemed like a friendly thing to do and if we liked the same music we'd get along.

I tell him to meet me at my favorite cook-your-own-damn-steak place and we sit at the bar since there's an hour wait for a table. He had quit his job that day to be a "freelance consultant" and the dude didn't shut up for a single minute, even while chewing food, talking about himself. Even the bartender felt bad for me and gave me a few free madrises. My phone keeps blowing up with the same number from Michigan but not one I know. On the 6th in a row call, I excuse myself and call the # back outside. It's my new step dad. My mom is in the emergency room after collapsing from an irregular heart beat. She is only 54 and no heart trouble previously. There's nothing to do, she's ok, but she wanted me to know he tells me. I'm pretty stunned. I walk back in and take my seat. I'm so pale the bartender asks me if I'm ok while the douchebag just picks up where he left off talking about himself. I tell the bartender that I just got a call my mom was in the hospital. The douche shuts up for a second to stuff more steak in his mouth and while he chews says "Ha! Girls don't like their mom anyways, right?" and then resumes his monologue. I tell him I'm going to the show solo. He think that means just driving separate cars so when he gets to show, he puts his arm around my shoulder - not out of caring but seemingly to claim me (if peeing on me was acceptable, he may have tried that). I told him in no uncertain language we were not there together and he said "why are you really upset about your mom?" Then he tried to kiss me.

He was the LAST date I accepted blindly.

"Ha! Girls don't like their mom anyways, right?"

Amazing.

That's like something from a romantic comedy, when they want to convey that the woman is dating a monster and he's not being subtle about his terribleness any more.

I posted this a few years ago but

Oh man, guys, awful date story:

Was talking to this dude on Scruff, he is redheaded and bearish and way cute, and we both seem to be into each other and we're texting back and forth all day, and we make plans to get dinner around 4 and "see where it goes". I text him at 2 just to verify the time/location, and he calls me and asks if I can just meet him at his place at 6 and we can walk to the restaurant (vegetarian soul food!) from there. Okay, no problem, just text me the address. Which he doesn't. So I text him again at like 5 asking where I'm meeting him, and then I call him at like ten of 6, and he doesn't pick up. So I just sort of wander around and then find a park to sit and read in, and finally at 6:45 I call him again. He picks up, he's so sorry, he just got in and he left his phone at home, here's his address, give him a few minutes to straighten up and swing by, also something about his friend coming over to hang out. I go over, it is now 7, he lets me in and it's him and his friend sitting on the couch watching TV (where there's a show that, according, to the DVR, has been paused at the 20 minute mark). Him and I talk for a bit, he seems nice but maybe sort of dumb and juvenile and into his own affectations and bad at being funny (Dylan McDermott's ass was on screen at some point and he felt the need to point and yell "man-butt!", or he would drop an obvious one-liner and then say "but ANYWAY" and then laugh at his own joke). So instead of, like, getting dinner, we sit around with his really boring friend and talk about whatever and then head to a bar to meet some other friends of his. Boring friend at apartment leaves, dude and I chat for a few blocks and meet his friends at the bar (I think it was 3 of them plus one's sister), and all get a table outside. Apparently he keeps the kind of company that thinks it clever and amusing to refer to the black female bartender as Shenaynay. I mean, I knew pretty soon in that this guy sorta sucked, but yeah. Ugh. So we're all sitting around talking, and by "we" I mean him talking to one of his friends and the other people talking to each other and me sort of just sitting there. This went on for about 2-3 hours. I jumped in a few times but I mean this dude was totally and completely ignoring me. Like, I think he looked at me maybe 4 times the whole night, and we had one conversation that maybe lasted 30 seconds and he kept sort of going "uh huh" and glancing away. I even left at one point to go get a slice of pizza because I was so hungry after the dinner that we never fucking had. I was pretty pissed but stubborn enough to endure it on the off-chance anything was going to happen (even though it pretty clearly wasn't). Finally we're all heading out and he somehow has the audacity to give me the big hug and the whole "have fun on your trip! Stay in touch! I'm in Philly a lot, I'll give you a call!".

Like, it's not that I'm pissed that I didn't get any D, because duh sometimes people just don't click. It's something that we were, you know, supposed to have established early on, one-on-one, at a 4pm dinner that would let me go about the rest of my evening. It's not that he was mean spirited, per se; he just seemed incredibly dumb and lacking respect and maybe bad at giving a shit about other people. I sort of really want to send him an angry text.

― (╯° □≗）╯︵ ┻━ןɐıɔǝds━ʇɥbıן━pǝɹ━┻ (Stevie D(eux)), Sunday, October 9, 2011 11:17 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

God, he sucked so much!

I OG read that and "Shenaynay" made me shudder

boring, egoistic and racist — a trifecta of shit

"That's like something from a romantic comedy, when they want to convey that the woman is dating a monster and he's not being subtle about his terribleness any more."

exactly!! I wonder if he ever got his head out of his ass.