I'mma lay your LOLs on the dresser and EXCELSIOR them shits with a spiked bat!

I hated life, had no actual friends, and was hung over a lot, so I read 4.5 years of Achewood - including all of the alt-text - in a little over a week.

this is the best way to read Achewood. It gets really funny and good after a while.

Ultraviolet thunder smiles at this.

Here's this and oh by the way, check out the most Canadian URL ever.

http://www.bloggingcanadians.ca/NonPartisan/canada-gets-mentioned-in-emma-stone-joke/

― pplains, Thursday, February 14, 2013 8:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

sigh

s1ocki's sigh of resignation cements it

yup.

"american makes canadian joke, next on the nightly news"

when lena dunham made a callous joke about a canadian serial killer it was like a holiday for canadian pundits

was it that porn dude in mtl?

no

a 90s one

but it was like CANADIAN JOURNALISTS HAVE A VALID EXCUSE TO WRITE ABOUT LENA DUNHAM DAY over here

there's been more than one canadian murderer? what's gotten into you people, you used to be so chill

did they kill a moose?

Was it Karla Homolka or Paul Bernardo? Those are the only two I know. Everyone knows the best serial killers are American or Russian, in that order.

there was the crazy pigfarm serial killer dude from a few years bag whose name I forget

Yup, it was. xp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRWxcpCO7rg

Ringo stole the idea from Neil Peart (Modern Drummer, August, 1996):

For almost twenty years I have made the time to answer everybody who has written to me through Modern Drummer. A couple of times a year I would set aside a whole day and spend it reading these letters and writing out postcards in response -- at first by hand and later on the keyboard -- answering each letter individually and uniquely (i.e. no form letters).

By now the total of those responses would number in the thousands, but I was always able to keep up with them at my own pace. Because I was careful never to talk about it in interviews and such, the numbers stayed under control -- it remained "our little secret." Until now.

In the last year or so the number of letters has doubled or tripled all of the sudden, and although it might be flattering to consider this just a reflection of my ever-growing popularity, I know that's not the case.

All it took was a few people to go on the World-Wide GossipNet and start telling people that I had answered their letters through Modern Drummer, and the floodgates were open. These big mouths (or big fingers) have spoiled it for everyone.

Including me. Personally, I feel terrible about this situation, for it has always given me a glow of satisfaction to spend that time on a little bit of altruism -- knowing that I might bring a smile to these people's faces, or even encourage them a little bit. However, this is not something I want to devote my life to, and as I face the ever-growing pile of mail in the corner of my office, I know I will never again be able to keep up with it.

So to any of you whose personal messages and requests reside in that pile, I offer my sincere apologies for not answering them. This unfortunate consequence of the much-vaunted Inter-thingy is a shame, and I do regret it.

But hey -- it was good while it lasted!

Neil Peart
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Friday, February 15, 2013 7:37 PM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Weird of him to post his address at the end

― flamboyant goon tie included, Friday, February 15, 2013 7:41 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Was it Karla Homolka or Paul Bernardo? Those are the only two I know. Everyone knows the best serial killers are American or Russian, in that order.

― Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Friday, February 15, 2013 2:59 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ya they're sort of the "classics"

actually this guy is, a truly horrifying person who sent taunting letters to victims' families from prison: http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/olson-clifford/

I thought Ringo's statement was necessitated by his reputation as being previously really responsive to this stuff (a la that Simpsons ep)...? maybe I'm wrong

Ugh. That reminds me of the BTK, who once waited for three hours inside the house of a woman he had been stalking, and when she didn't come home, left, then sent her a letter about how he had been going to kill her.

xp obvs

the excelsior thread, always good for a laugh

lol

willing to bet that ppl have written about hateful language from other male rappers before, they got chuck d like jesus iirc. if there seems to be some inordinate amount of attn paid to this now it's becuz the standards of behavior have been raised since will smith could crack aids jokes or pe could work some gaybashing into their aids song. doesn't seem crazy to think if hs football coaches in alabama can be taken to task for using homophobic language in 2013 then youtube one hit wonders can also. it's called progress.

― balls, Saturday, 16 February 2013 06:41 (4 hours ago)

azealia banks I question her queerness she calls herself queer but we'll see if she plays this

― unprepared guitar (Edward III), Saturday, 16 February 2013 06:42 (4 hours ago)

XD

(from current Apple Map snafu in the I HATE APPLE thread)

I was in the middle of the atlantic before I realized there wasn't a great ocean separating East Williamsburg from Greenpoint. Just a McDonalds and the BQE.

― dan selzer, Friday, February 15, 2013 1:22 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^ first lines of your novel

― zero dark (s1ocki), Friday, February 15, 2013 2:33 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You TODD DAMN SONOFABITCH how are ya

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, February 15, 2013 5:37 PM (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YOU BETTER THINK ABOUT IT BUDDY.

― pplains, Friday, February 15, 2013 5:38 PM (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the apple maps one is epic.

"fatwa"

"reciprocated"

"contemporary equivalent"

― goole, Friday, February 15, 2013 7:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Three underrated Pharaoh Sanders albums.

― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Friday, February 15, 2013 7:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Brilliant

LOL

let us all enjoy some freesponsibility... in space!

libertarian space colony's president is apparently Dave Chappelle in a mustache

― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Saturday, February 16, 2013 12:02 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

overview here

― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Saturday, February 16, 2013 12:05 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wtf Lo-Pan from Big Trouble in Little China shows up 20 mins in

― Welcome to my world of proses (Shakey Mo Collier), Saturday, February 16, 2013 12:17 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

showing up 20 mins in is p much james hong's whole career

― a permanent mental health break (difficult listening hour), Saturday, February 16, 2013 12:20 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My boss worked for a big concert promoter for years and like hates ray charles to a sort of striking degree, said he was pretty vile, especially to women, was kinda surprised that was her answer when I asked who was the worst person she dealt with, and that ws like a decade plus of doing shows for huge stars

― 'glown' with the king (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Saturday, 16 February 2013 16:38 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...
yeah, just because he is blind doesn't mean he can behave like that!

― nostormo, Saturday, 16 February 2013 16:59 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it is because he is dead that he can't behave like that

― schlump, Saturday, 16 February 2013 17:04 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<3

ok know im beng harsh but you all need lighting up with my 'creamic' cock and then maybe youd understand the sublety of danes humorous

― animal, Wednesday, April 26, 2006 1:25 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe next year we can start a campaign for white people to give up racism for Lent

― Ima R.A.E.D. (DJP), Tuesday, February 19, 2013 12:25 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

huh all white ppl are racist now huh *shakes head*

huh all white ppl are Christian now huh *shakes head until ashes fall off*

huh all Christians are Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians, and Anglicans now huh *vibrates intensely*

huh

uh-uh *shakes, rattles and rolls*

*shakes, holds viper, speaks in tongues*

Don't Forget The Butthurt On JIF Lemon Day

where are all the Green Bay ILxors

― frogbs, Tuesday, February 19, 2013 10:19 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

in green bay

― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, February 19, 2013 10:22 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

upper midwest humor in a definitive form

I knew the day would come when I liked a big hit movie more than youse philistines

― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, February 19, 2013 9:59 AM (2 hours ago)

this guy loves star wars prequels and sam mendes bonds and all of the sudden we're the philistines

― zero dark (s1ocki), Tuesday, February 19, 2013 10:00 AM (2 hours ago)

do not slander me, sirrah. I have never expressed love for Vader: A Psychohistory.

― Pope Rusty I (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, February 19, 2013 10:04 AM (2 hours ago)

i was introduced to reddit by one of my roommates in nyc. he said he went to a new years eve reddit party where they spent the entire time doing math problems, and i can only assume drinking non-alcoholic beer. if that's your kinda thing it's probably heaven. personally i'd rather scratch my own balls.

― Spectrum, Wednesday, February 20, 2013 10:29 AM (41 seconds ago) Bookmark

Wait, are you implying ppl scratch other ppl's balls at reddit parties?

close. what i meant was every new years eve i host a genital-tasting event, men only, where everyone gets naked and we tongue each others balls. we rank each other on musk, odor, succulence, and saltiness, and the winner gets to masturbate on the rest of the participants. you should come sometime.

I bet that's what they all say.

what, at the end?