i actually scored probably the best 5as goal of my miserable life the other week, breaking from midfield after winning a challenge and then sort of flicking it outside of the boot from an improbable distance/angle papiss cisse style across the keeper and crashing in off the far post. don't really know what i was thinking but it turned out fkn badass
erm like i say i don't score too many
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:31 (eleven years ago) link
dont believe a fuckin word of it, jog on son
― ben foster five (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:33 (eleven years ago) link
:D
― imago, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:34 (eleven years ago) link
haha
cmon deems i yearn for your heroic whoppers, let's be having them
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:43 (eleven years ago) link
fwiw tonight i done naff all except rather disgrace myself by totally chopping down a newcomer neymar wannabe trying out his lollipop collection
usually fouls are fouls but this was a regrettable "you know what-" moment
sorry guy, hope this contrite admission before some interweb randoms makes up for it
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:44 (eleven years ago) link
xp ashley cole vibe off that one tbh
― ben foster five (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:46 (eleven years ago) link
imo the srs answer actual opposite of scoring is probably somewhat mundanely giving away possession in a stupid area leading to oppo goal
the shaming act of capitalisation is far more painful than whatever the outre comedy pratfall is that would result in an og
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:51 (eleven years ago) link
it's only rly the exact opposite if the concession of possession is from a goalscoring chance itself i'd say
― ben foster five (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:52 (eleven years ago) link
don't remember anything particularly good lately tbrr, the odd punt from distance*
*as measured along five-a-side standards obv
― ben foster five (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:54 (eleven years ago) link
ehh if you fuck up a tap-in and it comes down the other way no one's really gonna have a go at you tho, that's everyone's fault
the blame spotlight needs to be comparable to the goalscorer's glory
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 00:58 (eleven years ago) link
There's the shame spotlight too, which is a more private affair - it's late in the game; you've strayed a little too far upfield, gloryhunting; you can't be arsed tracking back; they get the ball and, somewhat ineptly, capitalise with ease. Particularly bad if you've just hauled yourselves back almost on terms, at great effort. Nobody slates you in these circumstances, but you know what you've done.
― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:05 (eleven years ago) link
i smashed in a screamer (5 a side) a few weeks back, i kicked it and it flew straight as an arrow to the top corner (of the tiny goal). Looked amazing
now whenever i get the ball i just try to cunt it the same way. think this is how gareth bale/gerrard/ronaldo etc got started with their irresponsible cunting.
― ^ sarcasm (ken c), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 15:42 (eleven years ago) link
bad willed cunting
night of the cunter
― Ballboy to Afghanistan (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:07 (eleven years ago) link
lol at faux-cunt
― caek, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:08 (eleven years ago) link
― Ballboy to Afghanistan (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:07 (2 hours ago) Bookmark
lord, save the little goalies. they abide... they abide and they endure
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 18:55 (eleven years ago) link
fuxing ankle got me srsly considering retirement :/
― r|t|c, Wednesday, 13 March 2013 12:06 (eleven years ago) link
scored goals since but you wont want to hear about them like
― mister borges (darraghmac), Friday, 29 March 2013 01:59 (eleven years ago) link
Scored a hat trick the other day for the first time in months :)
― paolo, Saturday, 30 March 2013 11:09 (eleven years ago) link
Should hat-trick be hyphenated or is it two words?
Hat trickHat-trickHattrick
One word imo. You can slip an extra 't' in there without being too conspicuous.
― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 30 March 2013 13:43 (eleven years ago) link
like di canio volley, but from like five yards out, but still
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 May 2013 01:06 (ten years ago) link
famous goals i have emulated in my five-a-side career
rooney newcastle volley cuntlarsson diving header cuntzola instep volley backheel flick (slight cunt)letiss faux cuntdi canio jumped and used the other leg volley technical cuntromario flick-around-defender slide-cunt finishbull-toe proper cunted that one x 10000
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 May 2013 01:10 (ten years ago) link
no head-height rule in your 5 a side game?
― ^ sarcasm (ken c), Sunday, 12 May 2013 07:29 (ten years ago) link
Joy of Six: Unique Goals, or just another week for dmac
― Ismael Klata, Sunday, 12 May 2013 08:13 (ten years ago) link
Fuckin head height rule, pshaw
Off now to ucd no doubt i'll not return without anothef tale of derring do, nominate an iconic effort for me
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 May 2013 09:23 (ten years ago) link
Is it blaes? The Vialli one.
― Ismael Klata, Sunday, 12 May 2013 09:29 (ten years ago) link
Nothin more flash than a nutmeg left foot winner in off the post soz
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Sunday, 12 May 2013 11:37 (ten years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UPNgiTXTRE
― posters who have figured how how to priv (darraghmac), Friday, 7 June 2013 14:17 (ten years ago) link
Oh yeah I've scored one of those once. iirc met with raised eyebrows in response, along the lines of 'Really? You?'
― Ismael Klata, Friday, 7 June 2013 16:35 (ten years ago) link
http://i500.listal.com/image/2122277/500full.jpg
IK, pictured after scoring.
― Fanois och Alexander (Merdeyeux), Friday, 7 June 2013 17:24 (ten years ago) link
http://media.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/article-1368504-0B46412D00000578-759_634x521.jpg
darraghmac, pictured every weekend.
― Fanois och Alexander (Merdeyeux), Friday, 7 June 2013 17:25 (ten years ago) link
Otm
― posters who have figured how how to priv (darraghmac), Friday, 7 June 2013 17:29 (ten years ago) link
I misses a putt ffs
http://db.tt/jCxSiWBp
― posters who have figured how to priv (darraghmac), Sunday, 9 June 2013 22:21 (ten years ago) link
twtw
― ghosts of erith spectral crackhouse slain rudeboy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Sunday, 9 June 2013 22:24 (ten years ago) link
I hope that's a set built specially for that mp4, and not an actual thing
― Ismael Klata, Sunday, 9 June 2013 22:28 (ten years ago) link
"footee"
This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by American FootGolf League.
Sorry about that.
― r|t|c, Sunday, 9 June 2013 22:38 (ten years ago) link
We have a surfeit of courses post-tiger, maintenance unfeasible costwise for golf, but guess what a couple hundred head of sheep and a mower for the greens and bobs yer uncle for footee.
And it was fuckin brilliant btw
― posters who have figured how to priv (darraghmac), Sunday, 9 June 2013 22:48 (ten years ago) link
twtw is evading me tbh
― posters who have figured how to priv (darraghmac), Sunday, 9 June 2013 22:49 (ten years ago) link
Ha nm
Suuuuuup
fowler windmill volleystepover-curled-backheel round gk in off post to win it tho
― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Thursday, 20 June 2013 23:05 (ten years ago) link
I don't even know what that last one means
― Number None, Friday, 21 June 2013 00:44 (ten years ago) link
Hey if i could find a player on youtube to replicate it, yknow?
I'll report back when im on laptop, if yer good
― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Friday, 21 June 2013 00:57 (ten years ago) link
jolly good imo
― mookieproof, Friday, 21 June 2013 01:12 (ten years ago) link
what if...you invented a new type of goal altogether?
― Number None, Friday, 21 June 2013 01:24 (ten years ago) link
dmac has quite literally moved the goalposts when it comes to goalscoring.
― Fanois och Alexander (Merdeyeux), Friday, 21 June 2013 02:07 (ten years ago) link
I'm half-convinced now that this guy's never kicked a ball in his life. The 'I Misses A Putt' video is the only proof.
― Ismael Klata, Friday, 21 June 2013 09:10 (ten years ago) link
lol
― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Friday, 21 June 2013 09:25 (ten years ago) link
i am not finding anything on youtube, but this may be down my not being au fait with the terminology these kids use these days
but look, it was quite simple
running towards last defender, feint to left and flick it out to the right and beat him, ball now between me and advancing goalie a few yards out and a few yards to the right of the post, i get there first and throw my left leg over the ball so im standing directly over, leaning forward. he dives narrow towards my feet covering near post, so i drag my right foot along the ball (still moving forwards) in a backheel motion, but applying a lot of sideways spin. ball goes p much sideways behind my left foot directly around the keeper's dive and spin brings it around and nestling into the far corner. simples.
― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Friday, 21 June 2013 09:32 (ten years ago) link