Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

Barber: "Now that's hair raising!"

"I should probably buy a new chair."

"Oh dear, this giant spring seems to have fallen through the ceiling and crushed my barber station"

"Where did that big fuck off hole in the ceiling come from?"

Barber on the right: "Well he did ask for a high top fade..."

"on reflection, i wonder if we should'nt have built the pie shop under the barber shop and used some kind of trap door mechanism"

"While you're up there, say hello to the woman taking a sofa to see her psychiatrist."

"No, tipping isn't mandatory. But strongly recommended."

.... Zebedee?

― Mark G, Monday, 21 January 2013 13:54 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Was thinking of sumitting this one, but the Magic Roundabout won't mean a thing in NY, right?

"No, Mister Bond, I expect you to dye!"

Applause!

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/02/04/p465/130204_contest_p465.jpg

"Stupid fucker never did give up hope."

EZ otm

"rip its sad he was a metaphor for capitalism"

"It was the florist's idea, apparently he'll still smell fresh after a week this way"

"It's hardly surprising he died, if this is any indication of the level of expertise his medical team brought to bear on his condition"

Wait are dude's eyes open, might change things

"I know you might feel this is hasty Charles, but we can't get a sitter for next week"

"He looks so lifelike"

"You'd think Barack would have shown"

The new ICU beds aren't very subtle."

"This is the weirdest sex party ever."

What a misunderstanding!

"Usually they embalm them before the calling hours but whatever idgi lol."

"A man like that, whose nose can't be easily mistaken for his chin, simply wasn't made for this horribly drawn world."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/02/11/p465/130211_contest_p465.jpg

"No matter how fast I drive, I can't seem to outrun the drones."

"Helmet laws? I got a big purple helmet right here!"

"Dear Lord! That young woman is fully clothed!"

"Watch out! Your scarf could get caught in the wheels!"

"You women need to grow a thicker skin!"

"Yes, I am Mayor Bloomberg. Koch had this added as a requirement for the mayorship."

"Sand in the vagina? Try bugs under the scrotum!"

"So? Is it sexy?"

"How do you like my chopper?"

"The worst thing about being a naked motorcyclist is giving the Invisible Man a lift."

"Hi there! I'm in line to be the next Pope. Yeah, they wanted someone a bit more radical this time."

"Is that a giant hammock on the horizon or just a very badly designed bridge?"

"...and then the LAPD started shooting at me because they thought I was that Dorner guy."

"Hey! Penelope Pitstop! It's me, Dick Dastardly! Yeah, I went through some stuff."

"It's very environmentally friendly. It runs on poop!"

xp "Yer know what I'm gonna do when I finally catch that pigeon? I'm gonna fuck it. Because I'm a pervert."

"i saw that naked man again, this time riding a motorcycle. this is happening more and more. i don't know if he's real, but i'm too afraid to find out."

"Then they decided to pitch the remake of 'Girl On A Motorcycle' to the CFNM crowd and here we are!"

"I like to relax when I'm not busy being a Conservative MP."

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_vERXdKOTltE/TTyJ2CzZ7PI/AAAAAAAAA8g/FP0iOQQm1sA/s1600/fwbb233r.jpeg

"So I'm reshooting The Brown Bunny shot for shot, except fifteen seconds shorter."

"Of course I'm acknowledging that times are hard in the publishing business and we need to make changes, but did we really have to merge Performance Bikes with Health & Efficiency?"

"Are we travelling really fast or standing still? I can't tell, because the lazy cartoonist hasn't drawn in any speed lines or other subtle signifiers of movement."

"I've got a big horn. And so does the bike."

"People say that a lot, but no, I'm not that sissymanwh0re guy..."