Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"ah pauly longface - didn't recognise you with your torso attached and that cop on your back."

"Be on the lookout for funny business -- we got a tip that the fuzz is gonna try a trojan horse operation on us"

"Smart play moving our operation into Central Park, Pauly."

"They're onto us. Good thing we're almost halfway to Canada."

"I just don't get it - every time we move, the cops beat us by a nose"

"What an implausible situation!"

"He's a standup guy, but the cops have been on his back lately"

― space phwoar (Hurting 2)

^^^ding-ding-ding!

"I can smell oats! Can you smell oats?"

"The horse police, they live inside of my head."

"So I've got this idea for an edgy reboot of My Little Pony..."

"I told youse guys to bring money, counted, in a valise not the Coney mounted police!

awesome

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/01/28/p290/130128_contest_p290.jpg

.... Zebedee?

"No, Mister Bond, I expect you to dye!"

"Some spring for the weekend, sir?"

Barber: "Now that's hair raising!"

"I should probably buy a new chair."

"Oh dear, this giant spring seems to have fallen through the ceiling and crushed my barber station"

"Where did that big fuck off hole in the ceiling come from?"

Barber on the right: "Well he did ask for a high top fade..."

"on reflection, i wonder if we should'nt have built the pie shop under the barber shop and used some kind of trap door mechanism"

"While you're up there, say hello to the woman taking a sofa to see her psychiatrist."

"No, tipping isn't mandatory. But strongly recommended."

.... Zebedee?

― Mark G, Monday, 21 January 2013 13:54 (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Was thinking of sumitting this one, but the Magic Roundabout won't mean a thing in NY, right?

"No, Mister Bond, I expect you to dye!"

Applause!

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/02/04/p465/130204_contest_p465.jpg

"Stupid fucker never did give up hope."

EZ otm

"rip its sad he was a metaphor for capitalism"

"It was the florist's idea, apparently he'll still smell fresh after a week this way"

"It's hardly surprising he died, if this is any indication of the level of expertise his medical team brought to bear on his condition"

Wait are dude's eyes open, might change things

"I know you might feel this is hasty Charles, but we can't get a sitter for next week"

"He looks so lifelike"

"You'd think Barack would have shown"

The new ICU beds aren't very subtle."

"This is the weirdest sex party ever."

What a misunderstanding!

"Usually they embalm them before the calling hours but whatever idgi lol."

"A man like that, whose nose can't be easily mistaken for his chin, simply wasn't made for this horribly drawn world."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/02/11/p465/130211_contest_p465.jpg

"No matter how fast I drive, I can't seem to outrun the drones."

"Helmet laws? I got a big purple helmet right here!"

"Dear Lord! That young woman is fully clothed!"

"Watch out! Your scarf could get caught in the wheels!"

"You women need to grow a thicker skin!"

"Yes, I am Mayor Bloomberg. Koch had this added as a requirement for the mayorship."

"Sand in the vagina? Try bugs under the scrotum!"

"So? Is it sexy?"

"How do you like my chopper?"