vadge horror stories

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wtf this actually existed?????????

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

From a '30s magazine's classifieds I have an ad for what can only be described as an antiquated prostate massager. Fabulously, the orders were to be sent to South Bend, Indiana.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Hoosier pride baby

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:23 (eighteen years ago) link

antiquated prostates need all the help they can get.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Accidental
Amphimixis?
Now you can
Avoid that crisis!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Don't worry:
We told Bill O'Reilly
It's not really
Infanticidey!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Couldn't stop
Your penile throbbing?
There's a way
To stop her sobbing!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:38 (eighteen years ago) link

"How did I
Shot sperm in pussy?"
Spiderman
Now needn't worry!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:38 (eighteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

I dreamt I had a blind date, with spoilers
900 miles in diapers and rejected screen names
What did you eat today? Because the other one
was getting unwieldy, free smells:
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Tuesdays With Morimoto (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 00:25 (seventeen years ago) link

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r76/lucy2lola/giner.jpg

― lil' latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:09 (seventeen years ago) link

holy crap, my wife wants that as a t-shirt

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:15 (seventeen years ago) link

crosspost

vadgetarian?

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:28 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know what surprises me more -- that outbreaks of the thread still recur two and a half years later, or that no one's linked it to the fleshlight thread.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:37 (seventeen years ago) link

I was directed here by a fellow ILXor, presumably to share with you that this weekend--after, and perhaps as a result of the Bears' defeat in the Superbowl--I, a 31 year old GWM, had my first face-to-face with a vadge. It was ridiculous. The encounter, and the vadge.

― I do have a surname, but it's silent. (unclejessjess), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 23:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Sudden in a shaft of sunlight
Even while the dust moves
There rises the hidden laughter
Of children in the foliage
Quick now, here, now, always—
Ridiculous the waste sad vadge
Stretching before and after
Lol pwnt.

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:23 (seventeen years ago) link

jess do tell

― Charmmy Kitty's Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (ex machina), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:23 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm hoping this involves an actual vagina face.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Like the frat boys are known for saying, "I was drunk" or maybe "I was just experimenting."

― I do have a surname, but it's silent. (unclejessjess), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:43 (seventeen years ago) link

face-to-face?

― jambalaya backgammon (grady), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm hoping this involves an actual vagina face.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/vadgehorrorstory.jpg

― Tuesdays With Morimoto (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe hoping isn't quite right.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

girl's got some trippy pubes.

― jambalaya backgammon (grady), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Bob's Big Boy or a sleeping Elvis impersonator? hmm...

― Tuesdays With Morimoto (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:06 (seventeen years ago) link

jess did you DO IT with the vagina???

― grbchv! (skowly), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:08 (seventeen years ago) link

scg's story still sort of wins everything on this thread

xpost sounds like it was more of a vadge meet-n-greet

― Elsa Svitborg (tracerhand), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Miami style.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:16 (seventeen years ago) link

why don't I get invited to those

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:17 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.aliviastoys.com/mylittlepony/blueseapony.jpg
Face to face
http://www.aliviastoys.com/mylittlepony/pinkseapony.jpg
No telling lies

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:31 (seventeen years ago) link

David R you motherfucker

― Elsa Svitborg (tracerhand), Thursday, 8 February 2007 02:27 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Guy won't sup that
Tuna colada?
Ordinary douches,
Must try harder.
Scrape those barnacles
Fizzle that phlegm
'Cos yours ain't no cave
Of hidden gems
...LYSOL DOUCHE

― JTS, Monday, 26 February 2007 20:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Scarlett was a-bangin' in the Civil War
But she had cling-ons, "just like paw"
Due to the times, she tried a gherkin
But as Mammy worked out, "it just ain't workin"
Rhett, damnless, left in furiosity
He could no longer cope with vadge viscosity!
.... LYSOL DOUCHE!

― JTS, Monday, 26 February 2007 20:20 (seventeen years ago) link

Mount that bidet
Douche that V
Let people know
Your clange is to a T
... LYSOL DOUCHE

― JTS, Monday, 26 February 2007 20:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Feminine fumes
Drive your guy waco?
Time to scrub out
That Tampax taco!
...LYSOL DOUCHE

― JTS, Monday, 26 February 2007 20:27 (seventeen years ago) link

IZZY STRADLIN 4EVAH

― David R., Monday, 26 February 2007 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

In 1994 my friend Tom lost his virginity to a rotund goth girl, his brother's friends were making fun of him for having sex with an "ug", this is what Jeff had to say:

"Shit, pussy ain't got a face, and if it does, you best be running away."

― nickalicious, Monday, 26 February 2007 20:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Ere had she the fluidity
Of a canal barge
But time, it was against her
Stalactiting the vardge
Her romeo loved her like the stars
Even though she was scaly and tight
But one day she'll be just like them
When the limpets come out at night
... LYSOL DOUCHE

― JTS, Monday, 26 February 2007 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.ilxor.com:8080/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=60&threadid=5591

― JW, Tuesday, 27 February 2007 00:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Have I outstayed my welcome? Because I have a lot more.

― JTS, Tuesday, 27 February 2007 00:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Nickalicious, did your story happen in MN by chance?

― John Justen, Tuesday, 27 February 2007 00:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Sue was feelin' itchy
Sam was feelin' hoochy
Sue bought out the bitchy
'Cos of that ranklin' coochie
Paula Abdul dialled her
To divulge the secret duty
Sue, bemused, asked "Straight up?"
"Yeah straight up that booty!"
"Just hoist youself in stirrups,
Catch driplets in a beaker
And if you find toy soldiers,
Just phone my friend Martika!"
... LYSOL DOUCHE!!!

― JTS, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 00:51 (seventeen years ago) link

six months pass...

Still proud of my contributions here.

― forksclovetofu, Sunday, 9 September 2007 21:16 (sixteen years ago) link

nine months pass...

You know, J0hn's Sisters of Mercy pastiche was grossly under-appreciated here.

― HI DERE, Friday, 27 June 2008 11:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Don't make your man
go up the bum
just cause you're cunny's
lined with scum!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 27 June 2008 11:58 (fifteen years ago) link

I mean yes, yes it was.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 27 June 2008 11:58 (fifteen years ago) link

you know, the grammar gaffe makes that even more awesome

― HI DERE, Friday, 27 June 2008 11:59 (fifteen years ago) link

GAH I NEVER DO THAT

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 27 June 2008 12:01 (fifteen years ago) link

This i why i need to be a mod

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 27 June 2008 12:02 (fifteen years ago) link

"you are cunnies lined with scum" is a great put-down, though.

― HI DERE, Friday, 27 June 2008 12:06 (fifteen years ago) link

I shall mention this thread to Lukey G next time I see him.

― chap, Friday, 27 June 2008 12:43 (fifteen years ago) link

Your honey makes
Your boyfriend quake?
Steralize
Your Tastykake!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― David R., Friday, 27 June 2008 13:23 (fifteen years ago) link

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