rolling lol FIFA thread

Blatter reveals his ambition to work as a television pundit

• Fifa president wants analyst's role in 2015

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/international_football/154784/france-football-claim-to-have-proof-that-qatar-rigged-2022-world-cup-vote.html#NoSurprise

Sepp Blatter, 77, the current Fifa president, was not found guilty of any misconduct but was branded as "clumsy" in his handling of the case.

Blatter has taken the report as vindication. "I note with satisfaction that this report confirms that: 'President Blatter's conduct could not be classified in any way as misconduct with regard to any ethics rules'. I have no doubt that Fifa, thanks to the governance reform process that I proposed, now has the means to ensure that such an issue does not happen again."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/may/30/sepp-blatter-fifa-great-survivor

On Sunday, Joseph S Blatter attended a ceremony on the Indian Ocean island of Mauritius to celebrate the renaming of the country's FA headquarters in his honour.

They added the middle initial to make him sound like a n@zi war criminal

Blatter, who left the tournament last week as the protests reached their peak, hit back at Brazilian media which suggested he had fled the country without warning, saying he had to be present at the world under-20 championship in Turkey which overlaps with the Confederations Cup.

"In no way can it be said I escaped my responsibilities, on the contrary I assumed two responsibilities at the same time," he said.

Behind-the-scenes international intrigue, cronyism and allegations of vast corruption schemes: the story of Fifa, football's governing body, is surely ripe for a dramatic Hollywood retelling.

But a film in the works, starring Tim Roth and Gerard Depardieu, looks likely instead to be a sanitised version of Fifa's history and a hagiography of Sepp Blatter, its controversial president.

wtf, am I wrong to expect better from Roth than this? (he is to play Blatter)

LOL cannot wait

[heat exhausted footballer crawls towards blatter during qatar test match. he dies at his flip flops]

"be cool honey bunny!"

[curtains roll]

It is unclear who is funding the project

I wonder

Sepp Blatter: Fifa president hints at increased term

"Anything Mugabe can do I can do better..."

http://i.guim.co.uk/n/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2013/12/6/1386343964233/fadc4fa0-91e7-45ba-8dc8-2d18b174be8b-460x276.jpeg

It's actually morbidly impressive what a cushy nest this con-artist has been able to feather for himself. I mean, how does one go about becoming this sort of gravy-train grandee? I might apply for some work experience with him

start here

In the early 1970s, Blatter was elected president of the World Society of Friends of Suspenders, an organisation which tried to stop women replacing suspender belts with pantyhose.

Is Michael Garcia, who led the investigation into corruption in the Qatar bid, appealing against his own report?

His position seems to be that the findings (which he didn't write up) clear Qatar but are a distortion of what the committee actually reported.

I'm not sure if it's his report, but he is definitely claiming that the report itself doesn't correspond with his findings.

I'm sure FIFA were very relieved that their own investigation cleared them of any wrongdoing, anyway.

Appeals committee:

Larry MUSSENDEN Bermuda
Fernando MITJANS Argentina
AHMAD Madagascar
Édgar PEÑA GUTIÉRREZ Bolivia
F Randall CUNLIFFE Guam
Abdul Rahman LOOTAH United Arab Emirates
Leo WINDTNER Austria
Christian ANDREASEN Faroe Islands
Laureano GONZALEZ Venezuela
Dan KAKARAYA Papua New Guinea
Tourqui SALIM Comoros
Victor GARZA Mexico
Samuel RAM Fiji
Oliver SMITH Turks and Caicos Islands

He seems to have written a full report that someone else has summarised so there'll be pressure to publish both.

all the Russian documents got destroyed in a computer fire

I understand it that Garcia is disputing the summary made by FIFA of his report, claiming it's a false or inaccurate summary.

Dude should just put the whole thing online right now tbh

am loving - LOVING - the implication of the English FA as corrupt, but the clearing of Russia and Qatar. magnificent, magnificent stuff

1 out of 3 is something i guess

They had to leave the Spain / Portugal bid out of the report as nobody at the Spanish or Portuguese FAs was willing to discuss it with them.

Although low-level, the English FA's pandering to Uncle Jack was so brazen it makes you wonder how they thought they would get away with it. At least Russia and Qatar had the sense to burn the evidence.

exactly. too quaint and chummy by half. proper corruption escaping our fevered imperialist imagination

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFYv6sixE0g

http://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2015-sepp-blatter-fifa/img/bw_cover_fifa.jpg

http://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2015-sepp-blatter-fifa/

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/27/sports/soccer/fifa-officials-face-corruption-charges-in-us.html

HERE we go.

warner indicted!

loving this @MichaelSSchmidt: FIFA execs not being led out in handcuffs. Very peaceful. Hotel staff meanwhile is freaking out.

i go past that hotel on my bus to work...so posh

I wouldn't put the chances of Jack Warner facing US justice at more than about 30%.

His son Daryan was meant to be the star witness in the FBI case against FIFA and, as far as i know, hasn't been able to leave Florida for two years. Ever since this came out, Jack hasn't left T&T, to the best of my knowledge. There's some confusion over exactly what the domestic laws mean but there's a belief that his status as an MP may give him immunity from extradition.

The complication is that he has started to burn bridges with the government over corruption. He was national security minister until 2013, when the story about Daryan broke, and had kept quiet about decades of domestic corruption. When he was turfed out of the ruling party, he started to release some of the historical allegations to the press. I'd suspect that he has far more on both FIFA and the T&T government in reserve, for exactly this eventuality, but if not then they might want him shipped out ASAP.

It looks like Chuck Blazer (who famously had a separate apartment in Trump Towers for his cats) is the one who cut a deal for immunity. All the people arrested are CONCACAF and he is the one missing.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/soccer/soccer-rat-ex-u-s-soccer-exec-chuck-blazer-fbi-informant-article-1.1995761

wd love to believe a few of these guys (warner especially) will end up in prison... but I guess it's never going to happen is it?

Some of them probably will. You generally don't get to be head of a football association without political ties but some governments might want to disassociate themselves. It will be interesting to see how this plays out politically in some countries given that this is an independent prosecution brought by a CONCACAF competitor. FIFA isn't popular anywhere but i don't know how well the idea of the Costa Rican FA being dismantled by the US government will go down, for example, when the two countries have had public disagreements on various football-related things in the past.

any hope this will lead to a proper investigation of qatar?

The legal ramifications of pulling Qatar would be gigantic given that they've already started building infrastructure in anticipation of the World Cup, with people already dying in their hundreds. But they will continue to do so the longer preparations continue, the right thing to do would be to halt everything now and give 2022 to a country already reasonably well placed to hold it, but the size of the lawsuits that FIFA would open themselves up (and the likelihood of this clusterfuck continuing for years) will probably enough to ensure they bottle doing that.

Also if the Qatar process was corrupt (lol) then the likelihood is the Russian one was too and that's five years closer (although I'd guess FIFA would dearly love to take the WC away from Russia for other reasons).

Four years closer, even.

Guardian now reporting that Swiss authorities are holding a criminal inquiry into the awarding of both 2018 and 2022.

Due to air this evening: There's Only One Sepp Blatter http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05w8ftq

Blazer and two of Jack Warner's sons entered guilty pleas and cut deals apparently.

My attention has been drawn to certain developments in world football which started several hours ago and is at the present time still ongoing.

It has been reported that a number of FIFA officials have been arrested in Switzerland and that at least one raid conducted by the Federal Bureau of Investigators in Miami is being executed at what I presume to be CONCACAF offices.

My name is being reported by international media as being one of those persons sought in connection with the probe.

The people of Trinidad and Tobago will know that I quit FIFA and international football more than four years ago and that over the past several years I have recommitted my life to the work of improving the lot of every citizen of every creed and race in this nation. This is where I have let my bucket down.

I have fought fearlessly against all forms of injustice and corruption.

I have been afforded no due process and I have not even been questioned in this matter. I reiterate that I am innocent of any charges. I have walked away from the politics of world football to immerse myself in the improvement of lives in this country where I shall, God willing, die.

The actions of FIFA no longer concern me. I cannot help but note however that these cross- border coordinated actions come at a time when FIFA is assembled for elections to select a President who is universally disliked by the international community. At times such as this it is my experience that the large world powers typically take actions to affect world football. World football is an enormous international business.

That is no longer my concern. My sole focus at this stage of my life is on the people of Trinidad and Tobago.

I wish to advise the hundreds of thousands of persons who support the ILP that my commitment to them and to the people of Trinidad and Tobago is undaunted and can never be broken.

Jack Warner

Didn't know he was on I Love Photography, must pay more attention.

sensibly not ruling out the possibility that god might want him to live forever

today in "can't imagine why" or "o rlly," depending on your perspective

The Associated Press ‏@AP 15m15 minutes ago
BREAKING: Swiss justice ministry says 6 of the 7 arrested in FIFA probe oppose extradition to US.

1 of 7 "didn't completely understand the question"

Blatter, 79, was expected to win a fifth term despite a string of scandals during his 17-year tenure but now looks less secure than at any other time during that reign. In a desperate rearguard action, his spokesman tried to argue that the dramatic events were good for Fifa and attempted to align them with a discredited reform programme promised in the wake of a swirl of allegations four years ago.

Underrated side effect of all this: the (presumed) destruction of Traffic Sports, a boil on the face of North American soccer.

https://twitter.com/darrenrovell/status/603726608709582849

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CGDeJuGWoAAuA-M.jpg

a qatarstophe