Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

churchfaces?

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09282009

If you rate someone what exactly are you rating? Their looks? Their profile? I really need a primer on OKC, sometimes I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.

ICE CREAM SUNDAE. NOT SUNDAY. JESUS CHRIST.

I can't go out with these people. I just can't.

:D

If you rate someone what exactly are you rating? Their looks? Their profile?

Generally speaking, I think the stars are just there for you to utilize as you will. However, users can receive a notification if you give them four or five stars. However however, this is an optional feature so maybe hardly anyone receives those notifications. Who can say?

I get them.

It's optional? I didn't realize that. Sometimes I get them but they're never from anyone good.

when you first sign up one of the hoops you have to jump through is to rate a certain number of people I think? to get 100% completion

I rate people when I like their profile but can't think of anything to say (like maybe they're one of those people who only puts one word or one sentence responses)

also I think OKCupid tiers or used to tier their users - if your average star rating was in the top 50% of OKC's population, then you would be shown more attractive users (i.e. users who were also had a higher starred rating)

a mutual 4/5 star rating is also a good way to kick off a conversation I guess?

The flip side is that if you use the site less or something you can drop out of tiers due to a lack of ratings, I think.

also apparently the data reveals that men and women rate each other differently? http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-mathematics-of-beauty/

crazy. when I was on OKC I got a lot of 4-5 stars from women and put in the "most attractive" pile, but personally I'm not all that great looking or anything. on dates what women said they liked was the way my profile was written. so prob more than just looks going on.

Sooo I should go back to rating ppl, I guess. It's such a flat, commercial way to...ah fuck it.

http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/

It'sOKC's such a flat, commercial way to...

there's a tophat in that tumblr I want my money back xp

http://24.media.tumblr.com/84dbe4a09032dde98a31d1e32e7018fe/tumblr_mgcjbrTsyA1rlesyoo1_500.jpg

Profile pics on a dating site of you w/ previous girls - is this some kind of OKC PUA thing?

Its an immediate NO THANKS in my books. Why do people do this?

seem to remember Slipknot having some sort of answer to that question

I found a profile I like quite a bit but dude is 2 yrs younger than I am. It's a dumb personal defense mech but I assume 34-yos are interested in 30-yos and immediately mentally rule them out. That's dumb, right?

y

y def

i mean obv there are gonna be people with strict age fetishes but i guess those people are likely to be obviously horrible anyway?

y

Well, there's that answered. Now I just have to be willing to engage with the idea of dating for long enough to write...something...respond-to-able. In theory, only of course he won't because they never do.

Now I just have to be willing to engage with the idea of dating for long enough to write...something...respond-to-able

otm

No, you know, that was glib and not true. I like dating when it means meeting people I might want to make out with, to consume alcohol and pay attention to each other. I just hate dangling myself in front of ppl I don't know, puffing up THEIR egos and yet apparently not being impressive enough to write back to.

haha well if it makes you feel any better I only ever got responses to like, 10% of the messages I sent out? puffed up a lot of egos I imagine

Yeah Ive had zero response to any messages ive sent out, its only when I reply to ppl who message me that things go somewhere. Right now my heart's not in it all anyway as I got feels for u-kno-who that ain't going away so I'm kind of keeping okc at arms length, it seems fair.

To celebrate the launch of Crazy Blind Date (our new app)
we’ve removed all photos from OkCupid today.

I was wondering! I went to respond to a msg and CONFUSION!

Yeah, that seems like a super successful endeavor, OKC. As if the entire premise of your site isn't blind date-ish enough as is.

I am seriously grossed out by the age thing sometimes - dudes who are 45-50 think I am appropriate for them. WTF!? I am sure they message women younger than me, too.

wtf@ the blind date shit. There is NO way I'd want to meet someone site unseen from ANYWHERE. I have actually done that once or twice in my very distant past and it was ABYSMAL BEYOND WORDS.

Er, sight unseen even, haha, pardon the pun.

A lot of women really like to use photos of themselves among their friends without pointing out which person is them... and a surprising amount of the time I can't tell!

Yeah that seems pretty reprehensible for a dating site.

Etiquette dictates you draw a little arrow pointing at you with MS Paint

I have the same complaint about some WDYLL posts.

Etiquette dictates you draw a little arrow pointing at you with MS Paint blur their faces out so you look like you're in the party scene in Jacob's Ladder

http://rhizome.org/editorial/2013/jan/15/nice-guys/

On its surface, the “Nice Guy” meme appears merely to generalize a specific psychological condition.

This stereotyping would not be so terrible were it not usually married to a high-pitched tone of moral alarm and indignation. This tone transmits a large and important cultural meme: The idea that when women choose to have sex they should be meting out some sort of cosmic justice; ordering the universe by rules of honor that are essentially fair—instead of, say, procuring their own sexual satisfaction, or merely to ward off boredom.

No one expects this of men—whom everyone agrees are “dogs”—but calling that a double-standard would be a little like calling Google “a website.” True, but it’s also more a structure that gives lightning-quick access to a massive extended network of double-standards.

The Nice Guy complaint has become a primary and self-obscuring—primary because self-obscuring—way to argue that female sexuality carries an additional moral dimension, one that lies beyond the more straightforward matter of self-determination, and is, within this framework, clearly more significant.

The trick is to distract attention away from the moral prerogative being asserted in the conversation—the right of the male speaker to act as moral arbiter of the female subject’s sexual desires—and direct it toward a third-party, whose moral virtues, or lack thereof, then become the most immediate and most easily apprehensible topic of debate.

some of those illustrative comics are supremely revolting

the article itself is excellent

great paragraphs of our time:

MRA culture grew out of various masculine revivalist movements of the 90s and early 2000s: the right-wing moralism of the Promise Keepers; the revenge-fantasy sociopathy of the “seduction community” cataloged by Neil Strauss in The Game; Nu Metal.

"; Nu Metal" is going to do the trick in most cases.

i briefly thought neil strauss's book was called the game: nu metal

I don't know what nu metal is but I have a date on Friday. Just a first one, chill.