Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

Seeing my dad theatrically sighing and passing his hand across his face and/or chest in an attempt to get people to ask whether he's ok so that he can say 'I'm so tired'. I don't want to ignore him, but I do, because it's babyish and embarrassing, but it also feels babyish and embarrassing of me to pretend it didn't happen. Which I almost always do.

When I was little, I had an acute fear that one day (possibly as an adult) I'd be in a restaurant and the waiter would put a large napkin around my neck like you sometimes see in cartoons or caricatures.

My sister refers to her dogs as her children. Often. It's embarrassing.

Ugh I have multiple friends who bandy about phrases like "furbabies" and one of them is a rampant anti-kids woman (which is fine) but she goes on about her (now deceased) dog like it was her child. And calls other peoples dogs "godchildren" and shit.

JUST HAVE A FUCKING KID

Nobody loves dogs more than me, but 'furbaby'? ARGH VOM.

Are they literally yr children, tho? Yjat's how my sister(s) see them

(Thats)

Seeing my dad theatrically sighing and passing his hand across his face and/or chest in an attempt to get people to ask whether he's ok so that he can say 'I'm so tired'. I don't want to ignore him, but I do, because it's babyish and embarrassing, but it also feels babyish and embarrassing of me to pretend it didn't happen. Which I almost always do.

I have a strict "use your words" policy when interacting with speech-capable humans. I hate that shit.

(I doubt she thinks she gave birth to them, but I honestly wonder where the line lies sometimes)

"granddogger"

JUST HAVE A FUCKING KID

Not always possible for a lot of people, you know.

Still, and I say this as person who owns a tiny dog that often sleeps between my legs in bed, people who refer to pets as children are all sorts of horrible.

Person in question could have kids, and also loves to date guys w/kids already provided. Point taken tho.

my old boss was a gay man, and i know he saw his dogs as his kids. when one of them got cancer and died at age 14, he was out of office for two weeks, and when I saw him when he returned, I know he was broken inside.

i realize a lot of people think of humans as "different" and "not animals" but i don't think there is anything wrong with thinking of animals as your children, even if biologically they are clearly not.

I would protect my children with my life and would give one of you up before my kids.

Binx the Cat, on the other hand...

political debates

Usher's "Climax" and any other song that talks explicitly about, um, climaxing. I prefer sex lyrics shrouded in metaphor and shame, thank you.

i think i have a much, much lower tolerance for public asskissing than others do. i find it extremely gross and uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch while others seem to not be bothered at all.

how literally are you talking here

people literally pulling down other people's pants and kissing their anuses

I talk to myself a....ok you know what, screw it, I'm not going to be able to top the post above

- eye tests

^ I find it weird how embarrassed I get to miss one letter, so sometimes I memorize the board in advance.

the awkward pauses on the phone when my dad and i are trying to work out whether it's time to end the phone call. i only get this with him. he likes to go down conversational tangents and mention w/e has caught his imagination lately but there's a resultant trepidation in the lulls where we can hear each other wondering if we should finish it up or carry on and it leads to these weird abrupt farewells.

i find that a good "hey dad, i have to go" is a pretty good fiction that everyone is happy to use and have used on them. no one ever asks where you need to go or what you're doing.

BUT WHEN?!

during the first awkward pause that feels like a good stopping point.

Ha, my parents do the "Well, I'm going to let you go..." like they would love to stay on the phone but they can tell that I have a busy and important life and don't want to keep me from it, even when I've made it clear that I've blocked out as much time as they want for chatting. See also "I don't want to run up your phone bill..." or "I don't want to use up all of your minutes" dispute having a cellphone plan with free long distance and unlimited minutes. I'll even say that and five minutes later, "Well, I don't want to run up your bill..."

It's not that they don't like me. It's that they don't want to be on the phone anymore and are constitutionally incapable of saying that they have something better to do.

despite not dispute. The disputes are all related to politics.

exactly! the excuse is a convenient fiction everyone can use to avoid the social awkwardness of saying "I don't want to talk to you anymore." Everyone knows it's not about the phone bill, and everyone's ok with that.

i dunno, i find 'i'll let you go' pretty socially awkward

"Well. I don't want to keep you any longer."
"Your mom says you had a good Christmas?"

i dunno, i find 'i'll let you go' pretty socially awkward

that's why you say "i have to go" instead. it's better for everyone involved. it's like saying, "I'd love to chat all day, but unfortunately some outside condition that's out of my control is preventing me. If I could change it, I would, but I can't. So I'll talk to you later." It puts the blame on some external factor, not the feelings of the people on the phone.

I agree! But attributing a feeling to someone else rather than own up to having that feeling yourself out of an assumption that the other person will be sad if you own up to that feeling is kind of my family's super power. Sometimes I think I'm the only person who wants to talk to her grandmother on the phone more than she wants to talk to me. I can usually get about five minutes before she's not wanting to run up my bill.

this is when we're both happy to let the conversation meander w/ no other pressure or boredom & yet during every lull there is an awareness that it will have to end at some point & this is nice but i suppose it could be now? maybe that's what he's thinking? and often the conversation restarts but sooner or later there will be the abrupt goodbye.

phones, man

skype4eva

I have a strict "use your words" policy when interacting with speech-capable humans. I hate that shit.

this is way more IA than IE but YES. i hear your obviously-voluntary laughter that wouldn't exist if someone else wasn't in the room. no, i'm not going to ask "what's so funny." i am willing to let this nip this interaction in the bud right now, no matter how awkward it is.

*willing to nip this

ok actual IE: screwing up or seeing someone else screw up a text entry in a way that lets everyone else see how they were originally going to phrase it before editing

The fact that the consent form for my forthcoming vasectomy was printed in jolly Comic Sans

Well, the "Sans" part makes sense.

sans deferens

Work caption competitions and the winning results. One tiny dark photo of a meeting where someone is accidentally pulling a slightly wacky face + one assortment of Movember photos = painful absence of lols, to be repeated at least once yearly in the Christmas newsletter

airline pilot intercom "humorous banter"

Employees singing Happy Birthday to a cake inscribed with half a dozen names.

Bonus points if my own is on there as well.

i used to get embarrassed when my dad would ramble on and never listen to the person trying to talk to him but now i don't care. i'm just glad he's still alive so i just watch him and smile. its like watching a big demented baby talk to people. who is hard of hearing. and who listens to jazz all day long and reads the wall street journal. okay, that's a really weird baby...

― scott seward, Monday, 26 November 2012 16:59 (1 month ago) Permalink

scott this is one of the best/sweetest things ever posted on here, thank u much bro

what i could never deal with was movies where the protagonist is blamed for/suspected of doing something wrong/evil/criminal/morally indefensible, but you, the viewer, are the only one who knows they are innocent/being framed/mistaken for someone else.

― the oral history of (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Monday, December 10, 2012 2:51 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what i hate though is when someone is being blamed for something they didn't do, and yet for some reason they don't do anything to explain their innocence.

― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, December 10, 2012 2:54 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ALL-TIME CARTOON PET PEEVES

(CYE was mentioned upthread, but I feel like Arrested Development was another show that deliberately played with the uncomfortableness of this dramatic device)