Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

snoball is on fire!

"Christ, what an asshole."

"This is normal."

"My ancestors have all been indentured office workers since the 12th century."

"Being a Damien Hirst installation is the worst job ever."

Shotgun?

"Thirty years, huh? I'm sure Dad can fast-track you into management."

"I play Tetris in my mind."

"I'm not wearing any underwear today."

"A calculator and a clock, PC? Sounds like hours of fun."

"It was the Unabomber Manifesto that really got me into Survivalism."

"Bad weather forced us back before we could reach the pole. So how was your weekend?"

"No, you're confusing Fermat's Theorem with Fermat's Last Theorem."

"So I'm fucking her, man, and suddenly I'm super-aware that it's, like, IN-OUT-IN-OUT-IN-OUT..."

"Mother died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure."

"Hello, I'm Theo Paphites, and I'm out"

"It's the pigs, man. They'll grab any excuse to impose martial law."

"Even as we stand here, George, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education. There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair. The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one decade. But, George, I have never been more hopeful than I am this morning that we will get there."

"So I told her I was damned if I was going to be the nice guy stuck in the friendzone while jerks got the pussy."

"I'm an office worker."

"So, my old nemesis, we meet again! As I suspected, you survived our last encounter at Reichenbach Falls."

"Tomorrow, we switch, and then we'll see how _you_ like it."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/01/21/p465/130121_contest_p465.jpg

"Keep cool fellas, maybe they won't notice."

"Wait 'till he wakes up with that cop's head in his stall."

"Which one of you snitched, the cops suspect foal play"

^ ha!

The horse is wearing a suit. It's not helping finding a punchline, tbqh

I was trying to work up a "uniform code of justice" line but it went nowhere.

"Has my (Pizza/horse corollary) with (Pizza topping/cop) turned up yet?"

That's a really, really confusing cartoon.

is that supposed to be an "on-the-take" cop and horse? Did they just show up and the mobsters somehow don't notice?

THE COP IS UNDERCOVER EXCEPT IT'S A MOUNTED COP AND THE HORSE IS WEARING THE DISGUISE OK

^ my caption

so we're all in agreement, we'll kill the cop then we'll eat the horse

"Tony Knuckles you're the bag man, Handsome Sal is the driver, Long Face Sammy you keep an eye of out the cops"

"Hey, Jimmy, why don't you take Kissin George over here down to the glue factory and let him pick out something he likes."

"Yo, Captain Riker, why is it so bright in here? You could land a banjo on this Earth."

^ an homage to the inscrutability of the orig

"don't look now, but I'm pretty sure that police horse thinks he's a centaur."

Head Mobster: "I'm going to tell you guys for the last time. Don't deal in horse, it always causes trouble with the cops."

'We don't have a snitch fellers. I checked the word on the street, and it just turned out to be a pile of crap.'

THE COP IS UNDERCOVER EXCEPT IT'S A MOUNTED COP AND THE HORSE IS WEARING THE DISGUISE OK

― ledge, Wednesday, January 16, 2013 10:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I thought the horse was wearing a badge. I guess it's a carnation or something?

or a handkerchief

a handkerchief of police

(mounted division)

"Don't look now, but we're about to be abducted by a flying saucer. Adamski was right. They do look like light fittings."

a handkerchief could make sense, maybe the horse has hay fever

"Here's the plan. Tony Horseface is gonna go around back and cover the exit. Johnny Fourlegs will wait out front"

^ ha!

"Horse Cop? Seriously? Let me guess, this cartoon was thought up by a 5 year old."