ANNOUNCEMENT - CALL FOR PITCHES - MAX AND LAMP FILM PRODUCTION COMPANY LLC

ww 09

xxxp: no Lamp, wrong rhythm for Guy; get a mumblecore guy

everything abt n/as pitch offends my personal filmic sensibilities - its pretty much a collection of things i hate in movies - max even evoked kevin smith - but stepping back from my own critical pov i can see that it basically needs to be made - its the mix of formulaic hollywood shit w/cutting edge formulaic internet jokes that makes it - the solipsistic funhouse aspect plays well w/the whole deal too imo

the solipsistic funhouse aspect plays well w/the whole deal too imo

this makes me think david o. russell should be involved. i support this project 100%

no stars, or i won't see it

i could see it being called the 1st movie that "really 'gets' the internet" while the hardcore scoffs - in retrospect the hardcore grudgingly grants approval

bombs at b.o. but scores in home video market--big in france, too

cult classic not best seller

straight to dvd sequels w/none of the original cast/crew

who should cameo?

- c. bale
- screech

Guy that played Uncle Phil

still fightin for HOOS cameo, tbh

main characters have to go to hospital for some reason, go in wrong room, steve jobs is in bed. he takes the oxygen mask off his face and says "you didn't see anything," winks at camera. armed guards usher main characters into hallway, they look at each other and shrug

this is sounding more and more like 'Youtube Movie' a la 'Epic Movie' etc., tbh.

but the first pitch is sound.

a party scene featuring every celebrity who ever released a sex tape - their connection goes completely unacknowledged

they go to a studio and see kevin smith making 'jay and silent bob strike back 2', with kevin biggs and james van der beek reluctantly reprising their roles, and smith counting his money.

who is kevin biggs? idk.

have to have the thing with the young clean celebrity (zac ephron?) shedding his goody-goody image by swearing a lot, doing drugs, hanging out with strippers. this is dumb but unfortunately it is required in these kinds of movies

truth.

will smith's son xxp

Needs to be "past it" clean celebrity though, preferably now in their 20s. Are the girls from Sister Sister available?

sorry i just want to make it clear--as great as this movie sounds, max & lamp fpc LLC is going to have to pass, sorry

lool

smoky nostalgia pic about the glory days of the public relations industry mad men meets goodnight and good luck with aaron eckhart as winthrope louis and nick stahl as leo brunmuiller.

if only marcello mastroianni was still alive

winthrope louis

lol is this a trading places ref

looooove that film

haha yeah. "brunmuiller" is a reference to a pr agency fyi

xpost

90s THROWBACK CRIME CAPER (originally thought of by gbx, age 13, after seeing Pulp Fiction...also his mom came up w/some crucial plot points...being pitched for historical interest more than anything, it is actually a shitty movie)

guys rob a bank and accidentally shoot a FedEx guy that they mistake for a security guard. they make a quick getaway, squabbling (<---hilarious dialogue!), and in their haste/distraction, nearly hit an old lady crossing the street. they swerve and crash the getaway car. nearby is an ambulance, which they hijack. TURNS OUT that inside the ambulance is a seriously injured young man and what appears to be his girlfriend. as the plot unfolds, we learn:
* the robbers are father and son
* the girlfriend is IN FACT a prostitute
* the young man is IN FACT a priest
* the priest was in the ambulance because the prostitute's pimp beat him up when he tried to prevent the pimp from beating the prostitute
* the pimp was beating the prostitute because she had refused to sleep with the priest and had turned up empty-handed
* the prostitute had refused to sleep with the priest because she was in his congregation and neither of them realized this until it was time to do the deed (wigs, etc?)
* (the prostitute was a model parishioner, singing in the choir and working bake sales and the like)
* the priest was getting a prostitute because he had had some worrying "feelings" about the older choir boys lately and wanted to confirm to himself and to God that he was a red-blooded man
* SOOOOO....it also TURNS OUT that the father of the father/son robber duo had been molested by a priest, and HATES priests. this creates tension, as does his lewd treatment of the prostitute
* the son of the father/son robber duo is gay but hasn't told his father. there is sexual tension between him and the priest. this may create problems later.
* I think there was like a paramedic or something that I'm forgetting?

Anyway. The robbers hold everyone hostage and go on the lam. At one point, they switch from the ambulance to a church van, procured by prostitute, acting under teh guise of dutiful parishioner (<--- hilarious dialogue). They are pursued by the pimp, the law, and the FedEx guy's brother/best friend/whatever, who is deranged. Never really fleshed it out too much further than that, except that it probably ends in the wilderness somewhere, with a few people dying, and the son and the priest hooking up, the prostitute and either a cop or the FedEx-revenger hooking up, and some other stuff.

NB -- i only really came up with "who's in the ambulance??" thing. my mom did most of the legwork on the crazy gay/catholic/molestation stuff.

she is from ireland, btw

I think the only casting decision made at the time was that Rosie Perez would be the prostitute w/a heart of gold

also:

re-telling of Sealand's history but with cheap, tiny models/sets and the entire cast played by local 3rd graders. real gondry vibe to this one

as seen on the peyton manning thread: point break but with bike messengers, set on the mean streets of chicago. neither funny nor cutting edge, but likely to make some cash if it can carve out a cheesy cult classic status a la quicksilver or say aspen extreme

the name of this awesome movie is

(wigs, etc?)

uhoh i killed it

the young clean celebrity (zac ephron?) shedding his goody-goody image by swearing a lot, doing drugs

working title (stolen from CC Roast of Bob Saget): The Boy Who Cried Cunt

btw this whole thread is testimony to why even among delightful, smart young ppl, cinema apprec is dead.

Dr. Crusty

Aged snarky movie reviewer, forced to watch a remake of Gone With The Wind starring James VanDerBeek and Leighton Meeser, falls in love with a cute young popcorn jock who doesn't know Bergmann from Bay. Hilarity ensues as the couple falls in love and tries to merge their DVD collection. . .

But, as in a classic tragedy, everything goes wrong, and they both end up killing themselves.

VanDerGeek is 'aged' eh -- at least youve got yr target demo.

also guess what Dr. M. i can like arty movies and appreciate them and i can also appreciate cheesy shit too, don't fence me in.

i watched blindness last night which contained many of the terrible qualities of both!

i would watch dr. crusty fo sho

There's no time for "cheesy shit" -- "guilty pleasures" are an oxy-mo-ron

Action
GAMES OF GLORY

The Chinese discovered a new communication system that will create a lot of jobs and trouble in alliance with Russia.The Russians find a better way to use that new system and decided to steal the project and trying to blame the USA along the way.Unfortunately for them ,at the present time USA intelligence services counts with the help of the very best agent they ever had,extremely intelligent,that finds out what the Russians are up to...So she make her own plans to steal the project without involving any American services,to do so she recruits some mercenaries,among them is her older sister that she believes is dead ,even though she never was to sure about it.According to her own words told to some "colleague" of her:"I wish that she made up her mind and decide to live or remain dead,I am getting tire to come to her funerals every now and then..."The mission is fulfil according to her plans and the Russians got the blame for it,and have some trouble to keep the relationship with Chine in good terms....

great ideas corujuca! who do you foresee playing the agent??

i apologize for not writting the actors, here they go,
Katee Sackhoff, lead
Liv Tyler her older sister
The rest are supporting actors and actresses,so it could be anyone with some exparience in acting.

guys i just had my first badass standing around arguing on speakerphone fight with a producer. it was awesome. i think i won. 20%? fuck you, buddy. 35%. i will let you know how it turns out.

nice one!

im willing to go 25% tops

final deal: 30% + £1500. let's hug it out. </braggin in 09>

niiiiiiice