I went with "Are we nearly there yet?"
― Mark G, Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:36 (eleven years ago) link
"these pretzels are making me thirsty"
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:00 (eleven years ago) link
"Just imagine how great it'll feel to sit down by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate."
― Øystein, Thursday, 20 December 2012 18:41 (eleven years ago) link
^ pretty good tbh!
― before and after broscience (goole), Friday, 21 December 2012 06:27 (eleven years ago) link
"Machine wrapped, with butter?""Machine wrapped, with butter."
― I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Friday, 21 December 2012 14:26 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/01/07/p465/130107_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:38 (eleven years ago) link
"I got this job because my previous employer was In-N-Out Burger."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:40 (eleven years ago) link
"'Shake-It-All-About's late for work again."
"My previous job was working as a musician and DJ. But it all went downhill when I decided to change my style and sound like Burial. Have you ever heard of Skrillex? Yeah, well, that was me..."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:43 (eleven years ago) link
"Better Out than In."
"I always wondered what 'management style hair' meant. Turns out that it means 'not that angular'."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:44 (eleven years ago) link
ESTRAGON:Well, shall we go?VLADIMIR:Yes, let's go.[They do not move.]
― emil.y, Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:47 (eleven years ago) link
When the boss leaves we can use my glasses to make that Dd a Dood
― "reading specialist" (Z S), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:47 (eleven years ago) link
how long before whoever is responsible for these cartoons starts just hawking phlegm onto a sheet of paper and folding it, rorschach style?
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:48 (eleven years ago) link
If they're short of phlegm, then they could use obscure MS Office clip art.
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:50 (eleven years ago) link
Editor (to cartoonist): "You know, I really used to like that old 'Get Your War On' cartoon. Can you do something for our caption contest that looks similar?"
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:52 (eleven years ago) link
"You should get a pair of these new stereo Goggle Glass augmented reality gadgets. They make everything look like a crap New Yorker Caption Contest."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:54 (eleven years ago) link
IT'S A LIVING
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:55 (eleven years ago) link
as the out box, it seems like my time would be more effectively used walking around and dispersing these documents rather than waiting here passively for someone to come pick them up but hey IT'S A LIVING
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:57 (eleven years ago) link
"The boss is très riches."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:57 (eleven years ago) link
"My previous job was as a Nana Mouskouri impersonator."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:00 (eleven years ago) link
i'm trying to earn enough money to buy eyes
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:01 (eleven years ago) link
"If you think this internship is bad, there's a guy in the executive washroom whose job it is to hold the toilet roll.""I know! I interviewed for that, but I couldn't maintain an erection for 10 hours."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:14 (eleven years ago) link
"the gender dynamics of this whole thing are kind of funny on one level"
― goole, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:17 (eleven years ago) link
"I'd hate to be the shredder."
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:25 (eleven years ago) link
snoball is on fire!
― Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:45 (eleven years ago) link
"Christ, what an asshole."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:49 (eleven years ago) link
"This is normal."
"My ancestors have all been indentured office workers since the 12th century."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:52 (eleven years ago) link
"Being a Damien Hirst installation is the worst job ever."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:54 (eleven years ago) link
Shotgun?
― Mark G, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:58 (eleven years ago) link
"Thirty years, huh? I'm sure Dad can fast-track you into management."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:01 (eleven years ago) link
"I play Tetris in my mind."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:03 (eleven years ago) link
"I'm not wearing any underwear today."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:04 (eleven years ago) link
"A calculator and a clock, PC? Sounds like hours of fun."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:08 (eleven years ago) link
"It was the Unabomber Manifesto that really got me into Survivalism."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:15 (eleven years ago) link
"Bad weather forced us back before we could reach the pole. So how was your weekend?"
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:23 (eleven years ago) link
"No, you're confusing Fermat's Theorem with Fermat's Last Theorem."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:26 (eleven years ago) link
"So I'm fucking her, man, and suddenly I'm super-aware that it's, like, IN-OUT-IN-OUT-IN-OUT..."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:33 (eleven years ago) link
"Mother died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:34 (eleven years ago) link
"Hello, I'm Theo Paphites, and I'm out"
― Mark G, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:35 (eleven years ago) link
"It's the pigs, man. They'll grab any excuse to impose martial law."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
"Even as we stand here, George, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education. There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair. The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one decade. But, George, I have never been more hopeful than I am this morning that we will get there."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:41 (eleven years ago) link
"So I told her I was damned if I was going to be the nice guy stuck in the friendzone while jerks got the pussy."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:49 (eleven years ago) link
"I'm an office worker."
― s.clover, Friday, 4 January 2013 03:09 (eleven years ago) link
"So, my old nemesis, we meet again! As I suspected, you survived our last encounter at Reichenbach Falls."
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 4 January 2013 03:53 (eleven years ago) link
"Tomorrow, we switch, and then we'll see how _you_ like it."
― s.clover, Friday, 4 January 2013 03:56 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/01/21/p465/130121_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Wednesday, 16 January 2013 13:23 (eleven years ago) link
"Keep cool fellas, maybe they won't notice."
― s.clover, Wednesday, 16 January 2013 14:04 (eleven years ago) link
"Wait 'till he wakes up with that cop's head in his stall."
― for the relief of unbearable space hugs (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 16 January 2013 14:23 (eleven years ago) link