Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Eh the "nitpickery" is really about signs that indicate who you're going to "connect with" imo. Apart from mine, which is about how much I hate facial hair.

The biggest problem I have with OKC is the large % of men that I'm sure are just fine but I'm not like DRIVEN to respond to their profiles by any very strong feeling, it's kind of a "Huh yeah, okay" generally positive but I don't engage. I should make a project of writing to like 5 ppl at once that I'm not sure about but are probably nice and normal enough.

I've seen both male and female ilxor OKC profiles that are intelligent but aren't at all pretentious, so I know it's possible. I'm just fed up with seeing people ramp up the pretension in ways that seem deliberate. I wish I felt differently about it, but I don't think of it as nitpicking. It's just a huge turn-off for me.

how do you feel about facial hair

I have no beef with beards but grave difficulty with soul patches, hipster hats, exclusively travel-based photos, exclusively snowboarding-based photos, and not bothering to crop photos to remove people who might prefer not to be in your OKC photo.

if I could grow facial hair I would have a photo displaying it proudly

Did I mention that the guy's profile name had the word 'Witty' in it? Anyway, I'll shut up now, because I can only imagine the number of ways in which my profile pisses off guys...

Haha yeah I didnt mean to come over as nitpicky either, i was just riffing on things, maybe out of despair more than anything.

i am trying to adapt to the browsing aspect of those website and it's been really hard.

I disabled my acct today, felt like a great burden had been lifted off my shoulders - guess I didn't realize what it had been doing to my self esteem?

Yeah, it can fuck you up if you don't have other outlets for meeting people. I've thankfully learned that lesson, but it doesn't make the urge to deactivate any less great.

Naturally, after I complain about no one writing/responding, I got six messages over the weekend. Clearly I just need to complain more.

guys:

http://niceguysofokc.tumblr.com

Yeah, I just discovered that after being puzzled by a "no Nice Guys Of OKC!" notice in someone's profile. Some of those dudes definitely seem gross, but that Tumblr is almost grosser, in its own special way. Reappropriation of OKC profiles, however abhorrent the users in question may be, is a straight-up douche move.

nah it's cool

http://niceguysofokc.tumblr.com/post/38389088658/someone-reported-my-blog-to-the-tumblr-staff-and

Oh seriously poor those horrible men, how dare someone take a thing they already chose/wrote to represent themselves to prospective mates and use it to point out what assholes they are.

I'm tempted to suggest someone whose profile I read last week that says, "You should be cute and smart and prepared to overlook a lot of flaws in a partner" which, while a tiny bit more subtle, is not "better."

Hm, I do have a bit of a problem in that if you've locked your profile to be visible only to logged in OKC members it is a breach of that to be having yr info spewed elsewhere. Its isnt strictly speaking "public" info. (unless you guys dont lock your profiles to OKC members only?)

Its all well and good to say "these guys are assholes anyway so lulz" but what if it was a bunch of asshole guys making "uglydogsofOKC.tumbler.com" and one of us ended up on it? I'd be beyond furious.

Not that I'm at all saying any of the crap those clueless twonks said is at all ok.

at all at all

First they cast the previously-mutable and -deleteable profiles of the douchey Nice Guys Of OKC in amber, and I said nothing because I wasn't a douchey Nice Guy Of OKC...

I.e. my distaste has absolutely nothing at all to do with defending those dudes' attitudes. Are we seriously at a point where reappropriation like this actually has to happen to people personally before they concede that it's maybe not okay? I mean, in this instance in particular, it isn't as if anyone actually browsing these dude's profiles is going to come away with the impression that they're prime dating material. But it's a slippery slope from this to an Ugly Chicks Of OKC Tumblr or whatever.

In summation, the internet is gross (shock).

Oh ha ha Trayce beat me to it while I was interminably thumb typing away.

public shaming has, and always will, be part of the internet

I feel like most of us here are reasonably well-qualified to judge what is douchey entitled asshole behavior and call it out accordingly, and not falsely equate it with things like "Ugly Chicks of the Internet." Those two things are not the same and they are not equally valid endeavors.

It has nothing at all to do with the intent of the endeavor and everything to do with bad-faith reappropriation of material that is ostensibly semi-private. Whatever the purpose behind it, I'd be furious to discover that someone was reposting images/words from my OKC profile somewhere else and having a laugh over it.

In that case you shd probably try not to be laughable.

hah you really have an expectation of privacy about the stuff you put on okcupid

dogg you are posting on a forum where people routinely c/p fb statuses and images to laugh at with other posters

dont put anything in your okc profile that you wouldnt printed on the front page of the nytimes in 72 font, is my advice

also try to use the times stylebook for phrasing

chicks dig the times

chicks dig the whoppers jr.

People approaching OKC in that spirit probably goes a long way toward explaining why so many profiles come off so blandly.

pasting this to ilx out of context w/zero regard for your privacy
xp

xp No, I think those people are just boring.

"first they came for the..." arguments are soooooooo tiresome in 2012 btw

first they came for the nice guys who wear fedoras on OKC :|

It's about time someone did something about those. I was thinking of putting out traps.

"Try not to be laughable on the internet" is like some kind of 21st C. paranoid Zen koan.

Sorry I just have a sore spot about people reposting internet stuff (esp private convos etc) for laughs because it has been done to me before.

I do agree w/ u guys that the blog probably could have sufficed with just screen captures of the written parts themselves, including pixx is maybe a bit much

but the pix do reveal that all these 'nice guys' seem to be 'of a type' ; \

xxxp It's not like living in fear is the only option we have here, dude. You could also just not be an asshole, that option is always open.

You have nothing to be sorry about, Trayce. I'm sure it sucks hard.

i have some qualms about this a la Old Lunch but i think in orbit is otm that this is not really akin to a mythical "ugly chicks of okc." what makes these people stick out is not (just) nerdiness or a strong whiff of the pathetic but barely-masked vicious anger

Yeah dont get me wrong. calling peopl eout for shit like "youre all bitches oh but BTW shave yr damn legs WHY WONT ANYONE DATE ME" is incredibly laughable, but yeah. the pics? I dunno.

xxxpost

Just sayin'...is there anyone who wouldn't likely come off as laughable and worthy of public mockery to some dickhole on the internet?

Cruelty is fine as long as the person is wearing a fedora, I guess.

therefore we should just burn down the internet

first they came for the fedora lovers, but I said nothing because my hair looks weird in hats.