God is like that imaginary friend we had as a child or that imaginary sex partner we conjure up when we masturbate.
Yes, Your God DOES answer your prayers.
Your God is whomever you want Him or Her Or It to be.
MY God happens to be a black woman with very large breasts wearing crotchless panties.
― Zen Clown, Friday, 26 August 2005 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link
Except, perhaps, to Linkey, who is only a visitor on this planet.
― Zen Clown, Friday, 26 August 2005 21:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 27 August 2005 02:34 (eighteen years ago) link
I understand.
My wife and my goat were out in the field and they were both struck dead by a lightning bolt out of the blue.
Oh, God...I miss that goat.
― Zen Clown, Saturday, 27 August 2005 21:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― MSW (MSW), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:52 (eighteen years ago) link
I'm not quite sure why you are so keen to acquire yourself a husband - all they do is leave the toilet seat up, drop dirty socks on the bedroom floor, snore loudly and hog the TV remote control (although, give them their due, they're great at getting rid of spiders) - but I can't help feeling that your continued spinsterhood is as a result of you being far too picky.
― C J (C J), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 09:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― MSW (MSW), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 16:54 (eighteen years ago) link
― C J (C J), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 17:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― MSW (MSW), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 13:55 (eighteen years ago) link
― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 15:31 (eighteen years ago) link
― C J (C J), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 16:55 (eighteen years ago) link
― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 19:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― C J (C J), Thursday, 1 September 2005 04:58 (eighteen years ago) link
― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 1 September 2005 14:23 (eighteen years ago) link
― Zen Clown, Thursday, 1 September 2005 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link
― MSW (MSW), Thursday, 1 September 2005 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link
― Phallolatry, Thursday, 1 September 2005 20:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― Zen Clown, Thursday, 1 September 2005 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link
If you people can't come up with anything more humorous than this...
I may be tempted to re-create you.
You know those penises and vaginas you have so much fun with? Consider having scales and webbed feet and asexuality. I can do that. I'm God.
Jacob? YOU stay out of this.
I CAN send Bukowskie or whatever his name was to haunt you.
"If you want to know who God is, ask a drunk."
Heh, heh. I must admit...that amused me.
― God, Thursday, 1 September 2005 23:40 (eighteen years ago) link
― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 2 September 2005 02:22 (eighteen years ago) link
I do not think puppies are anything to joke about.
If you want to make light of something...how about a giant comet or some atomic bombs or some shit like that.
Sorry.
Puppies happen to be a soft spot with me.
(I hope God does not mind me responding to a post which may have been directed to Her)
― Zen Clown, Friday, 2 September 2005 04:36 (eighteen years ago) link
She may be gone sometime, but She has plenty of time of course.
Who should She leave in charge whilst She is away???
― Geoffrey Judge ( Ivor Feltersnatch), Friday, 2 September 2005 07:48 (eighteen years ago) link
I'm in a rather bossy mood today, so it'd suit me quite well to Be In Charge Of Everything.
― C J (C J), Friday, 2 September 2005 14:22 (eighteen years ago) link
How is your overwhelmingly awesome Magnificence today?
― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 September 2005 15:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― MSW (MSW), Friday, 2 September 2005 16:55 (eighteen years ago) link
― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 September 2005 17:30 (eighteen years ago) link
My overwhelmingly awesome Magnificence is okay, I think. I'll ask it, when it gets back from the pub.
― C J (C J), Friday, 2 September 2005 17:32 (eighteen years ago) link
Out on a magnificent bender?
― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 September 2005 17:40 (eighteen years ago) link
They aren't very clear. In fact, I'm not sure that what I have are pictures of her through her bathroom window or a rainy day in Tanzania.
Thankfully, I have a vivid imagination. I can imagine a vivacious redhead senusally soaping herself or a wildebeast rolling in the dirt.
At my age, both images are equaly exciting.
― Zen Clown, Friday, 2 September 2005 17:47 (eighteen years ago) link
― MSW (MSW), Tuesday, 6 September 2005 18:00 (eighteen years ago) link
― Zen Clown, Tuesday, 6 September 2005 18:21 (eighteen years ago) link
― Cerena p., Sunday, 11 June 2006 00:48 (seventeen years ago) link
― ((Censored)) ((Censored)), Monday, 12 June 2006 16:38 (seventeen years ago) link
Tota pulchra es, Maria,et macula originalis non est in te.Vestimentum tuum candidum quasi nix, et facies tua sicut sol.Tota pulchra es, Maria,et macula originalis non est in te.Tu gloria Jerusalem, tu laetitia Israel, tu honorificentia populi nostri.Tota pulchra es, Maria.
You are all beautiful, Mary,and the original stain [of sin] is not in you.Your clothing is white as snow, and your face is like the sun.You are all beautiful, Mary,and the original stain [of sin] is not in you.You are the glory of Jerusalem, you are the joy of Israel, you give honour to our people.You are all beautiful, Mary.
― the most promising US ilxor has thrown the TOWEL IN (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Saturday, 20 July 2013 02:16 (ten years ago) link
do Jerusalem and Israel not decline in Latin? slack
― imago, Saturday, 20 July 2013 08:07 (ten years ago) link
a suggestion:
Jerusalem (n)JerusalemJerusalemJerusalemisJerusalemiJerusaleme
Israel (m)IsraelIsraelumIsraeliIsraeloIsraelo
― imago, Saturday, 20 July 2013 08:10 (ten years ago) link
I'm a lifelong agnostic, but sometimes I'll say something like "please god, let this work" - like specifically last week when I was trying to fix the bathroom faucet - and then it works! I'll spend the rest of the day wondering if I should become a Methodist or whatever.
― how's life, Saturday, 20 July 2013 10:03 (ten years ago) link
it's more likely evidence that you should become a plumber
― mundane peaceable username (darraghmac), Saturday, 20 July 2013 15:12 (ten years ago) link