I just shout IM SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE NOISE PAPERMATE OVER THERE IS MAKING SPEAK UP.
― Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 13 December 2012 23:40 (eleven years ago) link
But then again everyone at work thinks I'm a nutbar, so I dunno.
"Even though scientists have studied the ocean’s water for more than a century, they still have a lot left to find out about it."
"Pure iron is fairly soft so it is often converted to steel before use."
"Gas is all around you. It has no shape, size or colour of its own."
"This wiped out most dinosaurs but also caused an existing type of plant, the tomato plant, to change its genes. This change of genes is what turned its fruit a bright red."
― Eyeball Kicks, Friday, 14 December 2012 11:17 (eleven years ago) link
otm
― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Friday, 14 December 2012 11:20 (eleven years ago) link
Read that as all one sentence - ie, the mysteries of the ocean, soft iron and gas being all around you wiped out the dinosaurs and turned tomatoes red. obviously.
― insert witticism here (hypehat), Friday, 14 December 2012 11:29 (eleven years ago) link
That would make as much sense.
― Eyeball Kicks, Friday, 14 December 2012 11:33 (eleven years ago) link
i'm getting the stupid part, not sold on the annoying bit, this co-worker sounds quite entertaining. also, where the hell do people get ideas like that tomato one ?
― Jibe, Friday, 14 December 2012 11:54 (eleven years ago) link
These aren't just random things someone's saying at their desk!
I guess I didn't make this clear, but those quotes are from written work that is supposed to be part of an educational product. The annoying bit is I was supposed to be doing a brief final edit before sending this stuff out - only to be confronted by this gibberish.
― Eyeball Kicks, Friday, 14 December 2012 12:00 (eleven years ago) link
(The tomato bit comes, it seems, from this http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/06/18/why-are-tomatoes-red-blame-the-meteor/. But it's just so badly explained.)
― Eyeball Kicks, Friday, 14 December 2012 12:01 (eleven years ago) link
haha ok makes things a bit different then. as random office talk it sounded quite amusing, but if it's for an educational product the annoying makes sense.
― Jibe, Friday, 14 December 2012 12:07 (eleven years ago) link
wtf that's a biiig difference
― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Friday, 14 December 2012 12:36 (eleven years ago) link
Seems to suffer from the misconception that if you write it like a 4th-grader's summary of a science lesson rather than the teacher's original lesson plan then you are "aiming it at their level" and they'll decide science is "super cool"
― a panda, Malmö (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 14 December 2012 13:58 (eleven years ago) link
The whole paragraph from which I took that gas quote:
"Solids are formed from atoms that do not have much energy and that prefer to stay in one place. Liquids on the other hand are much more fluid because their molecules are not entirely pressed together. Liquids don’t have a definite shape – they take the shape of the container they are in. Gas is all around you. It has no shape, size or colour of its own. It appears when you heat a liquid to its boiling point as this allows the molecules that it contains to move faster."
― Eyeball Kicks, Friday, 14 December 2012 15:03 (eleven years ago) link
that's like an uncanny valley of wrongness. its proximity to the truth is what makes it seem even worse than something straightforwardly incorrect.
― ledge, Friday, 14 December 2012 15:12 (eleven years ago) link
if you weren't listening carefully you'd be nodding, poisonous stuff
― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Friday, 14 December 2012 15:58 (eleven years ago) link
What about former co-workers?
So...I'm cleaning out some file cabinets for the holidays and what do I find? Print-outs of e-mails from someone who was fired, buried in one of the filing cabinets. Now I know why. Little bitch talked about co-workers in e-mails....to people outside our workplace. Nothing cruel - just petty and trivial, especially since it was to complete strangers. Petty shit, like whether someone is gay or not or what food people eat.
Although it was sad to have this come up now, it's a bad memory.
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Lord Ronald McDonald Bates-Pork (Mount Cleaners), Saturday, 15 December 2012 18:26 (eleven years ago) link
why is it the squeaky dork who's on the phone all day has a voice that carries all over the office?
― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 15 December 2012 18:29 (eleven years ago) link
Like this is the second person to make comments expressing oblique discomfort with black people. The other one actually came up to me and said, "I can tell you don't like black people either." His / her evidence was my disdain for barbecued ribs. I don't like ribs, okay!! I said, "where I come from barbecued ribs is not "black people food." It's not like a told a watermelon joke.
I went to the supervisor about this kind of shit and there are social pressures against it but I couldn't be the only one because they were both fired.
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Debriefed by David (Mount Cleaners), Monday, 17 December 2012 13:07 (eleven years ago) link
I love a story with a happy ending.
― pplains, Monday, 17 December 2012 14:42 (eleven years ago) link
Not even close to being the same, but I took umbrage at one of my managers who would not shut the fuck up about that "stuff white people like" website a year ago. I go over to her desk and she's all "have you heard of this web page?" I say yes, I've heard about it, but I don't think I've delved into it as much as she had.
And she says, "I think you'd like it. I can say that because [en soto whisper] we're both white."
I once went to an all-black college for a summer camp where everyone called me "Mr. Bentley", but that doesn't even compare to how offended I was at her stereotyping me as a potential fan of really shitty web humor just because of the color of my skin.
― pplains, Monday, 17 December 2012 14:47 (eleven years ago) link
Wait..."stuff white people like" is for white people? I'm not sure. I was so turned off by stuff like "only white people go camping or drink Starbucks" that I never visited it again.
Again, I don't live or work in a heavily white area. Maybe it's received differently depending on where you're from.
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Debriefed by David (Mount Cleaners), Monday, 17 December 2012 14:52 (eleven years ago) link
I'm pretty sure it's meant to be "self-effacing", like that Martin Mull book in the 80s or Jim Belushi rapping on Saturday Night Live.
― pplains, Monday, 17 December 2012 14:53 (eleven years ago) link
Also "black people love us" is major hilarity where I work, but I understand that in some places it's "offensive" and "racial".
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Debriefed by David (Mount Cleaners), Monday, 17 December 2012 14:54 (eleven years ago) link
But there's black people in the photographs, playing along!
― pplains, Monday, 17 December 2012 14:57 (eleven years ago) link
Gonna start a blog called white co-workers I hate.
Would leave race out of it, but I've got no beef with the three persons of color who work here.
― pplains, Monday, 17 December 2012 14:58 (eleven years ago) link
Yes, it's probably a regional thing. My brother works in a super corporate "type A" ("black belt" accounting) place but they are urban, have AA, etc.. They were passing that page around whether they were black, white, hispanic...but he told me the e-mails went out to some more rural offices where the staff were more "sensitive" of that being used on work time.
― โตเกียวเหมียวเหมียว aka Debriefed by David (Mount Cleaners), Monday, 17 December 2012 15:28 (eleven years ago) link
looks like a coworker may be updating HOOS' FB statuses right now
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Monday, 17 December 2012 23:06 (eleven years ago) link
just conducted a few...interesting...job interviews
"i love editing! i make sure that everything is grammatic!"
"i helped out with the budget...but nothing with money. i hate working with money."
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:30 (eleven years ago) link
also, she puts masking tape over all of her light switches at home because she prefers lamps.
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:31 (eleven years ago) link
"time. I budget time, mainly. and cookies."
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:31 (eleven years ago) link
xpost wow
what a treat!
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:32 (eleven years ago) link
when asked about her computer skills, she said that just last week she wanted to order a subscription to the Weekender (local newspaper) and found out she had to order online. she wasn't going anywhere NEAR that, not alone at least, so she called up her top "technical friend". they spent over 2 hours online and could not locate the Weekender. they ended up looking it up in the yellow pages and a nice young man told her it would be at her house the next day. stupid computers, what are they good for?!
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:33 (eleven years ago) link
actually, this is probably the wrong thread for this. i'm not bitching at all, she was hilarious! if she was actually my co-worker though i guess i'd get annoyed with her really quickly. that's why she's not getting the position.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/002/686/Deal_with_it_dog_gif.gif
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:35 (eleven years ago) link
O_oh my Christ.....
How did this come up??
TBH I'm 100% behind her on preferring lamps over overhead lights, but I also prefer not having ugly ass tape stuck to my light switches.
― (*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:37 (eleven years ago) link
There were many uncomfortable moments so it was definitely an opportunity for me to agree that I, too, prefer lamps.
I have no idea how it came up. It was non sequitur city from the second she walked in.
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:39 (eleven years ago) link
oh she just gets more and more hilarious and awesome. the Weekender thing sounds like mother-in-law.how old is this woman?
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:40 (eleven years ago) link
I don't know...65 or so probably
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:40 (eleven years ago) link
ah. not to be ageist but say no more, lol
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:41 (eleven years ago) link
but please, if you have more, say it. I find her fascinating!
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:42 (eleven years ago) link
when i walked in she was sitting down. she stood up to shake my hand but fell back down when our hands met.
"wooooooooo! ooops!"
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:44 (eleven years ago) link
^^^all-time great opening line for a short story right there
― xanthanguar (cwkiii), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.sptimes.com/2003/12/09/images/large/C_1_gramatica_174762_1209.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
xpost lolol
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
wish i could remember what else she said. for 30 minutes straight, she just said ridiculous things.
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:53 (eleven years ago) link
one strange thing was that she was originally scheduled to interview yesterday and requested that it be rescheduled - because she accepted a job elsewhere in our Agency and yesterday was her first day! (?!?!?!?)
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:54 (eleven years ago) link
omg
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:54 (eleven years ago) link
maybe she was like well i just accepted this other job, so i might as well go to the interview and be weird because fuck it yolo
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
ha
― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
yeah, i mean i sorta get the reasoning, maybe she wanted to accept the other one just to make sure she had it, but was more excited about this one or something. it might fly in the private sector or something, but when you all work as part of the same organization it would be kind of weird. like, i can't imagine if we hired someone and then two days later found out that another part of the Agency had hired her away!
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 18:59 (eleven years ago) link