ANNOUNCEMENT - CALL FOR PITCHES - MAX AND LAMP FILM PRODUCTION COMPANY LLC

the first step is to spend many years reading screenwriting books and futzing around with Final Draft or Montage.

i will gladly show it you in person once i have cased you and checked you are not straight up mentally ill, but we have to keep it confidential while we are courting producers.

no one reads ilc itll be cool

haha, lj reads it and he cannot be trusted with his connections to britain's media elite

the art/design section contains these images though, which are pretty cool imo:

http://www.krjda.com/images/UnionCarbide_1.jpg

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/03/02/nyregion/02rlandmark-600.jpg

do you see it going in in your film jh0? this is important.

im so serious about this pitch ima googleproof it:

adaptation of henry gr33n's 'p4rty g01ng' starring some posh brit actors and more importantly imo actresses.

boom.

yah thatd be ideal - maybe just on the unrated dvd tho - rules and all u know xp

do you have the option nrq?

Love Sucks: A Story of a Boy and His Vacuum Cleaner

My tragic tale of love and death goes like this: Lester Jackson and his Dyson vacuum cleaner, of the houses of Jackson and Dyson, are sworn enemies. The opening scene finds Larry, Moe, and Curly (of the Dyson family), quarreling with Jarvik, Phil Collins, and Sting (of the Jackson family). This turns into a full-out brawl, which disturbs the citizens, and brings the prince in to yell at them. Later that night, Lester and Dyson meet at a party in the Dyson mansion, and instantly fall in love. Lester sings a song to Dyson and later that night they meet in the Dyson orchard, and plan to be married the next morning. Their union is made, but soon ruined, as Lester gets suggest banned, and is banished from Tombotia. After he leaves, Dyson learns she is to marry an Electrolux (as no one around them knew they were married). She is devestated, and her and the ILC crew form a plan. But, as in a classic tragedy, everything goes wrong, and they both end up killing themselves.

these are my sons Jarvik, Phil Collins, and Sting...

all pitches should end with your final sentence, xp

brings the prince in to yell at them

i assume here u meant the write "prince tombot"

u assume correctly

fyi i have actually no joke successfully produced several short films okay "successfully" is a stretch but the did get made and shown and secure ppl real actual jobs making SPIDERMAN films

so what i'm saying is keep these genious ideas coming...

o i think we can do better than spidermans come on folks

I was watching eraserhead commentaries and lynch said he really began the film by calling up vets and having them send him dead cats to experiment with

uh oh i'm having visions

more pitches!

someone should just do a movie version of baron in the trees or something

probably will make a shitload of money

hahahaha A+ thread :D

NRQ's pitch is one that he and I have actually discussed in person, when I brought up an extract from P4rty G01ng I'd been made to analyse, and he was all "amazing novel, I wanna make a film of it"! Trust me fellas, his ideas for it are excellent, although they DO involve Keira Knightley.

Also, Caek, NRQ has more connections to B's ME than I do :P and I am intrigued about your film. One day you must let me have a peek!

Btw, I am so serious about MY one ima googleproof it too:

A psychedelic, maybe even slightly rotoscoped modern adaptation of S1gmund Fr3ud's PLOT SYNOPSIS (not analysis) of J3ns3n's "Gr4div4". It's a tripped-out psychological love-story that could leave Eternal Sunshine in the dust if done right, all fucked-up mental psychogeography and deep-seated unconscious obsession. Bunuel's directing-style should have an influence, and there will be plenty of incidental "environment" shots. Most of the film will be set among the modern ruins of P0mpeii, so blistering Mediterranean sunshine and heat-warped senses will be portrayed through hyper-realisation of lighting effects.

Working title: Sno Globe
Targeted release: Late Spring 2010

Workout fanatic and single mom Liberty Chase (the girl from Transformers) manages a small gift boutique in Valencia. One morning while dropping her kid (blonde, a boy) off at a school a group of thugs attempts to kidnap her. Using her skills developed as an Olympic gymnast she escapes but they manage to snatch her kid. Meanwhile LAPD detective Frank Joe (someone tough) is inches away from nailing the case against druglord 'Bent' Martinez (latino dude from ice age). But 'Bent' has plans of his own, including putting whoever is importing coke in novelty sno globes "on ice".

What follows is a realtime threeway thriller in which Liberty races against time to rescue her son from the murky underworld and uncover some brutal truths about L.A., the company she works for and herself. The old man from Babe stars as Senator Thorton Kincaid III

do you have the option nrq?

― caek, Tuesday, February 3, 2009 5:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah right.

need some SEED MONEY from messrs max and lamp to get this mofo moving.

After watching Frost/Nixon, came up with the idea for:

Sports movie set in the world of pro darts, following the paths taken through a PDC-esque tournament taken by two players: one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend. The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers. The extended idea is that the tournament effectively represents a fight for the battle of the white British working class.

working title: "Dart Attack"

Arrow and Wealdstone

^^^britishes gag

Flight of Fantasy ("flights" are the correct name for the little sticky out bits on darts!)

Jolly Oche Sticks

Sports movie set in the world of pro darts, following the paths taken through a PDC-esque tournament taken by two players: one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend. The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers. The extended idea is that the tournament effectively represents a fight for the battle of the white British working class.

i like this, but why not set it in the music section of a broadsheet newspaper?

one a brash, cocky, Front magazine kinda guy, porkpie hat, shoelaceless Converse, alt.porn girlfriend, Spungenite girlfriend

mike skinner in his film debut

The other a broken down one time "nearly man" of the sport who just lost his day job on a production line after a Gran Torino-style meltdown at Polish/Kosovan/Iraqi (change depending on vilified minority group of the day) coworkers

ray winstone gunning for an oscar

If the film had been made 40 years earlier, Peter Vaughan would be a lock for the latter role. Maybe he could play his father?

maybe one of you can work up an idea i've got about a young woman who works as a tv psychic who discovers she actually IS psychic maybe right after her longtime bf breaks up with her? i'm thinking it's a slightly bawdy but heartfelt and smart comedy

of-our-time harrowing many POV drama following separate-yet-linked psycho killing sprees worldwide due to the making public of an internet secret message board. directing style: that one movie with salma hayek, or maybe 24. starring the kid from star wars internet clip, jeff goldblum as some school counsellor, and cameo appearance from HOOS as a hotel worker that just can't take it anymore(possibly channelling michael douglas in 'falling down', but would welcome any input the actor could bring into the role).

Working Title: Untitled [Is there a semi-classic Motown song about being psychic that we could use here? **Assign intern to research]
Release Date: Valentine's Day 2010

Anne Stanley (Amy Adams) has spent most of her life telling people what they want to hear. As Chicago's most popular TV psychic, she's gained popularity by predicting good fortune and cheer to her thousands for viewers. But when one of her predictions results in the death of a retired fireman (too heavy? needs to be focus grouped), the city turns against her and she loses her job, her boyfriend Charles (Josh Lucas), and her apartment all in one night. Wandering the chilly Chicago streets well after midnight, she's struck by lightning, and, upon waking, discovers that she actually can see the future--with hilarious results! But even as she profits (in more ways than one, wink wink) from her newfound powers, she foresees a terrible disaster--a mega-tornado coming to wreak havoc over the city! There's just one problem: no one believes her--except for the sexy fireman grandson (Grey's Anatomy's "McSteamy") of the man she inadvertently killed! The odd-couple pair must race against time--and against their growing attraction to one another--to save Chicago! The movie ends with Anne losing her psychic powers, and maybe being pregnant.

notes: needs cameo by miss cleo as one of anne stanleys sucker clients - a post credits scene hinting that her baby is psychic

obv. discovering-powers scene is followed by upbeat montage of her using her powers, with sexy/fun results

Suggested soundtrack for montage: "Magical Mystery Tour" covered by (research available powerpop acts, are Click Five still going?)

The movie is set in Los Angeles, a city with a cultural mix of every nationality. The story begins when several people are involved in a multi-car accident. From that point, we are taken back to the day before the crash, seeing the lives of several characters, and the problems each encounters during that day. An LAPD cop is trying to get medical help for his father, but he is having problems with a black HMO clerk who won't give his father permission to see another doctor. He in turn takes out his frustration on a black couple during a traffic stop. A socialite and District Attorney are carjacked at gunpoint by two black teenagers. She takes out her anger on a Mexican locksmith who is changing the door locks to their home. Later that night, the locksmith is again robbed of his dignity by a Persian store-owner. Many of the characters switch from being bad-person-to-hero in ways that may surprise you.

hey kevin? thanks for your "contribution" but maybe you missed this part of the original post:

this is not a joke

But when one of her predictions results in the death of a retired fireman (too heavy? needs to be focus grouped), the city turns against her and she loses her job

suggested alternate career for the dead fireman: dead beloved weatherman? it would also add to the fun with the killer tornado, etc etc

hopefully we can get some big name actors on this project. maybe if none likes the script we can get an action star and a rapper to play 'serious' roles

xxp lol sry :/

Death of local "groundhog" style weather predicting animal?

why not death of weatherman AND groundhog--perfect since movie is set in february... maybe we bump release date up to groundhog's day?

hay max yr a mod now maybe kevin needs a yellow card - just sayin - ill leave that up to u

i like that - preemptive mrkting really get the jump on some of the other vday rom coms - also i think we could work in a couple of scenes with her friends idk who's hot but i was thinking maybe asian. and i like the idea of her mom being played by holly hunter, earthy but straight-shooting and it gives the audience a positive perspective on our heroine even when everyone else is against her

maybe--mom is dead? but we get flashback scenes of her mom giving her advice--or holly hunter voiceovers--moms advice?

i like hot minority friend, but lets make it maya rudolph, i cant think of any asian actresses, sandra oh too old, for examaple

:D x1000000

inspired by reading this piece goole linked on the Giffords shooting thread: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/print/2011/01/is-jared-loughner-a-white-house-case/69348/

"White House Case" is the term of art used by psychiatrists since the at least the 1960s to describe a distinct subset of the mentally ill who become psychotically preoccupied with the inhabitants of the White House or other government offices.

The White House Case (dark comedy)

Over the years, the psych ward at St. Elizabeth's Hospital's in Washington DC has collected a rag-tag bunch of patients, all committed for exhibiting a peculiar (though not violent) obsession with various US presidents. A group of 5 such patients have over the years formed a close fraternal bond while spending their years in the ward together, each having been committed for their unhealthy obsession with a different late-20th century US president.

One night, they catch wind that some staff at St. Elizabeth's are actually being using their employment as a cover for their membership in a clandestine rogue terrorist group planning on assassinating the current US president. As the only people in the world capable of stopping this plot, they must band together to break out of St. Elizabeth's, warn the authorities of this plot, convince anyone they can that they're not crazy, and save the president's life.

I see this being Eddie Murphy's "comeback" performance as the Regan-obsessed patient.

love it

lets start preproduction next month

coen bros, i'm hearing coen bros?

Sweet pitch

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/comment_ty.gif

Sean Penn movie about the guy who wanted to crash his plane into Nixon died a quick death

screenplay writes itself:

According to Ike Hoover, the White House valet for more than forty years, Coolidge was the meanest of the presidents, taken to playing cruel practical jokes on the Secret Service and domestic help.

― My mom is all about capital gains tax butthurtedness (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 April 2011 22:16 (19 minutes ago) Permalink

In a bold move, I'm seeing Rob Corddry as Coolidge- thoughts?

not to make all my pitches about the white house or anything

love it

after a night of drunken revelry & just-the-guys trash talking mason bennett (ryan reynolds) beats his childhood buddy tom gruterberg (jay broach) $100,000 that he could never sleep with the famously unlucky in love actress kella heart (isla fisher). determined to prove himself and win the money he needs to start his waterrafting magazine from the wealthy mason tom takes the challenge and begins to woo kella, who is town filming a movie. can tom manage to win the girl's heart? and will mason pay up if he does? find out next february in one in a million

just once i should try rereading my posts before i hit 'submit post' huh

love it.

can we get eric roberts in a "washed up old guy who still drops some sage advice" role?

In 1939 the British entomologist Dr. T. T. Macan (Rip Torn) took seven pages of a scientific journal to describe the migration of aquatic insects which colonized a reflecting pool around a new ornamental fountain. When a plucky, and rare, white sparrow named Huckleberry (David Spade) arrives a year later to discover Macan's research has taken a dangerous turn that could have huge consequences for the entire garden, Huck's only hope is to try and alert the scientific community with the help from some familiar friends, a Beaver, Skunk and Bear (all played by Eddie Murphy). Find out in 2012 if the grass stays greener on The other side in White Paper

there should be a sci-fi movie about time gypsies aka time travelers who venture back and forth through time conning people

― omar little, Thursday, January 19, 2012 11:22 AM (1 week ago

bio-pic with the Wilson brothers playing the Wilson brothers:

http://i.imgur.com/U1nyn.jpg

PTA could really nail the so-cal vibes that would be necessary for this project

i dont know what the pitch is, but i do know the tagline is 'based on a true reddit post'

Movie about a freed slave bounty hunter that doesn't have ilx cry into its collective blankie

a romcom abt a guy running 'the game' and a girl using 'the rules' against each other

i love it.

charlie sheen cameo is a must.

dystopian futurescape, voiceover 'i never knew my parents, they died in the singularity, i just have this one video' video projected on wall is of a lady talking at sxsw, its mom, fn blogger asks question, its dad

The tale of the world's first Bitcoin billionaire.

its Hackers meets Wall Street for gen Y

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G1cxdHhvmu4/T6Sj7fRNa3I/AAAAAAAAADk/xmT8bODtGMA/s1600/Green+Light.png

i dont know what the pitch is, but i do know the tagline is 'based on a true reddit post'

― kill yuppies (Lamp), Wednesday, February 20, 2013 7:13 PM (1 month ago)

bump.

guys we really should have been on this first:

http://i.imgur.com/bJkITn8.jpg

wow i loved space jam

NSFW: http://gawker.com/the-chris-christie-gangbang-sex-tape-that-wasnt-nsfw-1543352886

During the course of this research, he read somewhere that some mob families would occasionally initiate new members by forcing them to engage in acts of group sex (generally multiple male partners on one woman), and filming them. The idea, I guess, is a "team building" exercise that could also serve as a convenient blackmail tool if the need for leverage were to arise.

working title: "Just one of the Gang"

three schlubby would-be mob underlings and best friends in 1980's new jersey find themselves forced to have sex on camera with the same woman to show allegiance to a powerful mob family. but what happens when we discover one of them is a virgin and another falls in love with her? will stage fright get them before The Family does? find out in this raucous campy sex comedy.

i'm thinking alexandra daddario in the female lead and we're in talks with jody hill to direct

http://i.imgur.com/DG8jzYa.jpg

jimmy fallon and adam sandler make cameos as capos (in fat suits, obv)

Kickstarter for a movie in which Ben Savage runs a Kickstarter promising a 'Boy Meets World' movie but runs off with the cash

― ILX preorders SPYRO for Playstation (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, September 25, 2014 5:50 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

michael j fox goes back in time to 1940 to kill hitler. while fleeing from hitler youth bullies, fox accidentally runs over his grandfather joachim von ribbentrop on his bike. ribbentrop is hospitalized and, in his absence, his lookalike grandson is mistaken for him and finds himself in a negotiation with a molotov-led soviet delegation. fox and molotov hit it off over their mutual love of baseball and, before he realizes what he has done, fox has brought the soviet union into the axis. fox looks at a photo of a bagel in his wallet and realizes it is gradually disappearing. time is running out for fox to convince hitler to launch operation barbarossa.

i had a terrible romantic comedy idea last night.

Two lovers register to be organ donors. Tragically they both die at a young age. Their eyes (or corneas, at least, although if this took place in the near future maybe it would be the entire eye) are transplanted into two other people, strangers, who of course run into each other on the street, look into each others' eyes, and fall in love at first sight. BUT, they really don't get along with each other and soon break up. but soon after, one of them is trapped in a fire and the other one happens to be there and saves their life. they get back together and this time have a child. but the old personality conflicts return as the realities of a dead-end job and extended postpartum depression set in. they go through marriage counseling, and it turns out the counselor was the former doorman for the apartment where the original eye donors briefly lived. he recognizes their eyes, but he can't say anything because it turns out that he was secretly in love with one of the donators. and looking at those corneas again, all these years later, he realizes he's still in love with her. he can never bring himself to say anything about it, but he does successfully sabotage their marriage. later they run into each other at a bar and he tries to see if there's a spark there between them, but there really isn't much there. he's very drunk, and ends up telling her that he sabotaged their marriage, not through anything that he said per se, but definitely by not saying what he should have said in his marriage counselor role. the eye donation receivers once again get back together, but this time they begin fighting from the first instant they reunite. they fight and fight, but by this time they're pretty old and there's little chance of finding anyone else out there and they'd rather not be alone, so they just stay together and talk about their eyeballs.

― Karl Malone, Wednesday, March 2, 2016 4:41 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ah god that's amazing

lol

damn from a doorman to a marriage counselor, good for him

eternal sunshine of the spotless retina

someone give me $300 and i'll make it. making a film can't be that hard, you just grab a camera and point a light at people, let them talk, do a little editing, close up of an eyeball, there's nothing to it

L.A. Jetee

splicing up eyeballs

im working on film script abt corporate espionage in the pharmaceutical industry

i like yr idea though z_s

hows the script coming Lamp