I'mma lay your LOLs on the dresser and EXCELSIOR them shits with a spiked bat!

After watching the impressive animated sex-ed video we watched in fifth grade in which an enterprising artist superimposed a cock over a hen, we filed back into our classroom where our principal awaited. She asked if we had questions. I wondered what happened ("where did it go?") with the woman's penis after the guy stuck it in.

so you didn't grow up in miami?

I grew up around cocks

The Great Mariel Ball-Lift

say hello to my little -- oh wait.

when I was in elementary school I saw FUCK written on a restroom wall and didn't know what it meant. I was screwing around in the bathroom after taking a bath and wrote in the condensation on the bathroom mirror

little did I know that when a bathroom mirror steams up the next time, things written will reappear

― mh, Thursday, December 6, 2012 6:17 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you took baths in your elementary school?

― bob chipeska (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Thursday, December 6, 2012 6:19 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Now about these dubious Frenchmen.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, December 6, 2012 2:22 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ffs it's DuBois you ignoramus

― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Thursday, December 6, 2012 2:25 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahahahaha

Stellar!

awesome

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/198408_552040774810507_1431376204_n.jpg

― o_o, Friday, December 7, 2012 2:04 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/132/2790a875316548539e68644ba3218c0f/l.jpg

― before and after broscience (goole), Friday, December 7, 2012 2:06 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:)

Bonertassium

I almost gave myself a zipper circumcision in the bathroom at work on friday.

―how's life,Sunday, December 9, 2012 8:04 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

What stopped you? Follow yr muse etc

―I loves you, PORGI (DJP),Sunday, December 9, 2012 11:01 AM (47 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

do we take from that the info that hl is uncut?

for now

can you re-circumcise yourself?

Perhaps if you have determination and a few slices of bologna

i have both of these things.

there is no 'free' play. play is always already captive to the mechanisms of global capitalism and gender imperialism. 'play' itself is nothing but another form of labor, a means of producing a commidified identity

― max, Sunday, 9 December 2012 15:26 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well we'd have to impeach everybody til we get to ELIZABETH WARREN amirite?

― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:40 Permalink

says Feingold superfan

― Matt Armstrong, Monday, December 10, 2012 1:46 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't have anything much against E.W., just those who have exalted her to future savior of the Republic.

― saltwater incursion (Dr Morbius), Monday, December 10, 2012 1:52 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's gonna be amazing when you come racing down the mountain on christmas morning, your heart three times bigger, throwing our illusions back to us

― da croupier, Monday, December 10, 2012 1:55 PM (1 minute ago)

I love both "Let The Music Play" and "Blue Monday" and both were played to death for the next 20 years on Miami radio – they've never gone away. Shannon gets the edge because she stars in the quintessential disco melodrama: playing out romantic hysterics on the dance floor while yelling over synth whooshes.

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, December 11, 2012 8:14 AM (48 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think it just happened that the pop/dance vote coalesced around one song this time and the indie vote split, whereas the opposite happened in previous polls (not that "Blue Monday" isn't just as much dance music as "Let the Music Play")

― The Reverend, Tuesday, December 11, 2012 8:20 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's generational too. "This Must Be The Place" has emerged as POO Heads song in the last ten years.

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, December 11, 2012 8:23 AM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no "Blue Monday" is still the most popular song among poo heads

― some dude, Tuesday, December 11, 2012 8:26 AM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my favourite thing about photoshops created for ilx is just imagining a poster making them, silently & with concentration, submitting their work for the wider good

― Love Greenwald Hate Torture (schlump), Tuesday, December 11, 2012 8:13 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's true of every ILX post ever

now it's time to be the jerk who is picking a new show to watch

this is a fascinating time, you feel like a roman emperor giving the thumbs up or down on whether someone will live or die. people are all six feet under, all sincerely, almost pleadingly, & you turn your thumb downwards

― Love Greenwald Hate Torture (schlump), Wednesday, December 12, 2012 12:58 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Dave Matthews,
I like you a lot
and I realize that you're in a relationship right now, and I respect that
I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future
And you want to come visit me in California
I would be open to spending time with you
and finding out how old you were when you wrote your very first song

Dave Matthews,
you rocked my world

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, December 6, 2012 5:47 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/i11IF.png

― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Monday, 10 December 2012 23:28 (3 days ago)

hahaha

I knew I would be famous.

there was a rolling stone interview where kurt said he found mccartney embarrassing, so maybe nirvana was the ultimate expression of being embarrassed by mccartney. he also had a recipe for pear soup in a grunge cookbook.

― Philip Nunez, Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:29 PM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

mccartney's a total "pear" (i think that's a gay sex thing)

― Andrew WKRP (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:30 PM (44 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"What people don't realize is that the so-called Seattle Grunge scene grew out of several close-knit gourmet supper clubs--we would only pick up guitars to pass the time while our dishes were simmering, baking, boiling, etc."
http://www.soupsong.com/rsquash1.html

― Philip Nunez, Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:33 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think that's probably a different kurt cobain

― Poliopolice, Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:40 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

actual Kurt only cooked w spoons iirc

― If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:43 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"It is now my duty to completely drain you," kurt said to the pasta in the colander.

― Philip Nunez, Thursday, December 13, 2012 6:50 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm on a plain tomato bisque right now, then i'll move on to the potatoes au gratin

smells like something tasty

actual Kurt only cooked w spoons iirc

― If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier),

This was so well known in the scene that Soundgarden wrote a song about it.

really looking forward to snoball's contribution to this riff

hahah

the whole thing is out of control in both this and the original thread but the pasta thing just made me laugh

pasta: point of rescue

Grohl is like Bonham without the jazz

― If I was a carpenter, and you were a douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, December 13, 2012 10:13 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah he's pretty great

― some dude, Thursday, December 13, 2012 10:15 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

really looking forward to snoball's contribution to this riff

― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Friday, December 14, 2012 12:45 AM (8 hours ago)

What am I, the sauce of bad puns?

he's the one who makes all our shitty puns

and we like to zing along

http://i.imgur.com/5hYRX.jpg

TBH, he looks like he's having a pretty great time

Ban Traffic.

I will accept guesses as to who I'm killfiling.

― formerly EDB (ed.b), Friday, August 31, 2012 1:57 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

always assume me, then write that off as egotism, then write that off as complacency

― darraghback (darraghmac), Friday, August 31, 2012 2:04 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm sure that any number of tramps died of exposure in armenia this morning, but nobody at work wants to hear about that. it's almost as if proximity and relatability were like these really important factors in terms of human interest idk

― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Monday, 17 December 2012 16:19 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

By tramps Darragh means homeless people btw

― Tom D is secretly an important person (Tom D.), Monday, 17 December 2012 16:20 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well i mean that or low women

― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Monday, 17 December 2012 16:23 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

queen

― mh, Tuesday, December 18, 2012 7:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

btw thanking ilx for this thread, reminded me I was going to wash sheets today

― mh, Tuesday, December 18, 2012 7:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

queen ladidah

― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Tuesday, December 18, 2012 7:40 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wait, male ejaculate tastes like egg yolks?

...

― mh, Wednesday, December 19, 2012 7:12 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No.

― go to party leather (ENBB), Wednesday, December 19, 2012 7:12 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i wish

― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Wednesday, December 19, 2012 7:14 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

poll would have worked better with definitions of each term tbph but whichever one means dippy yolk
I managed to work it out for myself, but I'm happy to help out here. A clue: the sun is yellow.

― all the people on the right, boogaloo (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, December 19, 2012 7:15 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

no wait what

― first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Wednesday, December 19, 2012 7:15 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol darragh :)

the sun isn't yellow, it tastes like chicken.