Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

I probably embarrass people when I temporarily bond with sales people (usually at the cosmetics counter).

empty shops/restaurants that are clearly struggling for business

I end up never even going into these places since I know that if I go in and start browsing I will feel obligated to buy something because I feel bad about their business not doing well.

I don't really feel embarrassed or anything though, this is just expensive sympathy.

I feel embarrassed about being a semi-regular small spender in probably not failing local businesses - like the local corner shop you only ever buy emergency toilet roll or teabags in because you do your regular shopping elsewhere. This is related to the embarrassment about whether or not to cultivate a nodding acquaintance with the people you only ever see on the way to or from work. It feels a stupid basis for an acquaintance so I never do, but then when you walk past them every day for months and years... i walk past a guy setting up a jerk chicken stand in the park every morning and i want to break this awful cycle of studied aloofness but i don't know how, and if i do i'll probably feel no less stupid in nodding to him every morning.

people pronouncing things wrong. my favourite is when people ask for the beer "bombardier" (pronounced in the ww2 spiffing way) and say "bombard-e-ay" in the french way, just a perfect failure. (i definitely pronounce things wrong myself, obv, sometimes, and then get even more embarrassed)

― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:47 (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd probably be guilty of saying Bomard-i-ay cos I'm an idiot. I also can't stop myself saying "Kraftverk" and "Volksvagen" (who else does this? NOBODY!) and yet shudder when people like Stephen Fry don't pronounce the final "T" in 'restaurant' or insist on saying "gar-arge" when referring to music.

My wife reading ilx over my shoulder

How about creating a nodding acquaintance with people you see in work? I keep trying but at a guess I'm well south of 50% success rate. And it's not even just people you pass daily in the corridor, at the printer, etc - even some of the people I've worked fairly closely with for several days retreat into non-acquaintance mode as soon as the project is done. I feel embarrassed to be part of this.

It's not just me btw, I've checked - it appears simply to not be how it is done.

I think I'd say Kraftverk, but also Volkswagen - not sure it comes up much tbh.

anyway, it's folksvagen

play it safe and say folkwaggon imo

or 'b*ngbus'

People who comment on the food I am eating, or have just ordered. microwaving.. A truly irrational pet peeve.

"ooh, that smells nice..."

DO YOU WANT SOME?????

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:05 (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"mmmmm, looks good, what did you go for?"
"it's a new thing, it's called a sandwich, now fuck off okay?"

People sitting too close at 'communal eating' tables. However, if you are this person and you want me to budge over while I'm actually chewing, you can fuck off.

Commenting on the food of strangers: this is only OK in busy Chinese restaurants, where you see a group of diners with something good and you want to make damned sure you order that thing.

How about creating a nodding acquaintance with people you see in work? I keep trying but at a guess I'm well south of 50% success rate. And it's not even just people you pass daily in the corridor, at the printer, etc - even some of the people I've worked fairly closely with for several days retreat into non-acquaintance mode as soon as the project is done. I feel embarrassed to be part of this.

this whole area is a nightmare. do i say hi to someone i work with each time they pass me in a corridor? do i say hi to people i work with occasionally or whom i know? offices are the worst.

Thoughts when I don't nod to someone in the corridor: "c'mon i'm only passing them in the corridor, this isn't reunion with a long lost relative ffs". Thoughts when someone doesn't nod to me: "arrogant fucker".

the haunted look which is exchanged goes to the heart of our problems as humans

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

oh god yeah "did they see me nod and mouth 'hello' back there? can't tell. maybe do it again. oh god now they think i'm mental."

doors are a nightmare too. three double doors in a row to get to the bathroom, having to say "thanks" PAUSE "thanks" PAUSE "thanks" when you don't even want to or "notatttall" PAUSE "nottattall" PAUSE "nottattall" like little steam engine.

then once every hundred times a "these doors huh?", "who are you telling?!"

still it's worth remembering that the only people who don't feel this way in these situations are the rude

At my work no fucker acknowledges a held-open door; have occasionally even been glowered at as recipient passes through. Details are obviously all stored for the day of the revolution.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg5MJyEHKGo

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

and do you look at them all the way, or do you deliberately look elsewhere even though there's nowhere else to look, or? tbh i just turn around and run away.

I rarely get to do it, but running fast down a corridor is an excellent thing to do. I dunno why, maybe the air currents and echoes are all different, but it's so different to doing it in an open space.

Why not do it all the time, clutching a sheaf of papers to look busy and important, then it'll be ok to blank your cow orkers. Can't eyebrow flash! Late for meeting!

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

this can be so unbearably tense. often a quick distant acknowledgement, followed by the realisation that some strange etiquette will dictate another, proximate acknowledgement, which often makes both parties feel forced and insincere. it's a tricky balance between maintaining just enough eye contact to be courteous, but not so much as to make the other person uncomfortable/skeeved out, all the while acting as if the awkward steps until follow-up acknowledgement are occupied by something other than the painful endurance of having to fulfil an obligation. It can give rise to such hollow feelings, especially when you're given a perfunctory acknowledgement for what you're trying hard not to project as a self-conscious, automatic gesture. It's as if you're being confronted with a kind of diluted unspontaneity, and you're in a Tati scene, and you feel as if you're stretching a moment out far longer than any human being should ever have to endure.

People only run in corridors when they think nobody's looking though; the rest of the time they do an embarrassing fast-walk thing, with occasional trot for a few steps until someone else homes into view.

A wild-haired professor at uni is the only person I can recall who would run around openly.

When I was younger, I used to get so embarassed for people on television shows who were about to get in trouble. I can't think of any concrete examples, but like, if the Fresh Prince was doing something he wasn't supposed to, like snooping in someone else's stuff or something, and we in the audience were clued in to the fact that he was about to get busted for it. I would get beet-red flushed to the point where I'd have to turn off the TV or leave the room.

tbh I still repeat to myself "it's only a show, it's only a show"

90% of sketch comedy that involves singing, especially SNL monologues and the Whose Line is it Anyway songs

I rarely get to do it, but running fast down a corridor is an excellent thing to do. I dunno why, maybe the air currents and echoes are all different, but it's so different to doing it in an open space.

― Ismael Klata, Monday, 10 December 2012 12:27 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah totally - sometimes I feel like I could jump and just float down the corridor.

Josie Lawrence: "I know what you mean, about those songs, they seem very obvious and not very long..."

- when people point out a joke after someone else has told it.

I end up never even going into these places since I know that if I go in and start browsing I will feel obligated to buy something because I feel bad about their business not doing well.

I don't really feel embarrassed or anything though, this is just expensive sympathy.

― silverfish, Wednesday, December 5, 2012 1:48 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah I'm totally like this and what's worse is that gf is not at all and always just wants to look around places so we'll have mini-arguments where I'm like "no we can't go in that place! we aren't gonna buy anything, it's not polite, that person inside is gonna get their hopes up" and she's like "wtf nobody cares"

Oh yeah, I totally get like that.

i occasionally get lunch at one of these

http://www.flamersgrill.com/images/fl_logo.gif

in the mall by where i work and one of the dudes there knows my order. the first time he greeted me by saying my order i just wanted to quantum leap the hell out of there

also the dude at the ben and jerrys in the same foodcourt started chatting to me one time and told me about his improv group and now i can't go back if he is there

And then like, I'll want to buy something, but something small, but it's gotta be more than like 10 bucks because I never carry cash and I want to do a transaction that will make the Visa service fees worth it for them, but then I totally don't want to spend 10 bucks, so I end up making an excuse to wait out in the street.

xp: LOL

seeing nuns or priests in public places

it's like they can spot my unclean aura or something

When I was younger, I used to get so embarassed for people on television shows who were about to get in trouble.

still basically can't watch television because of this

what i could never deal with was movies where the protagonist is blamed for/suspected of doing something wrong/evil/criminal/morally indefensible, but you, the viewer, are the only one who knows they are innocent/being framed/mistaken for someone else.

yeah I can relate to that one too. curb your enthusiasm is 100% constructed to fuck w/ this response, also. xp

what i hate though is when someone is being blamed for something they didn't do, and yet for some reason they don't do anything to explain their innocence.

xp My wife was the first person I met who had this reaction to television, specifically to George Costanza. I never understood it; "c'mon, it can't be that bad," etc. Then Curb Your Enthusiasm showed up and it suddenly made sense to me.

one of the cashiers at the local tesco has seemingly conflated me and another regular customer in her head, to the extent that i get anxious going there at the thought of having another awkward embarrassing conversation where i have to follow up on whatever she last discussed with him.

corollary to that embarrassment - having people recognise me from tesco. three times now THREE TIMES i've met people at parties etc and they've said "hey do i see you around the lower clapton tesco?" and i just have to grimly accept that yes i'm the tesco guy.

The waistcoat I'm wearing today is slightly too short and the very end of my tie pokes out the bottom. It's a pink tie, and it's making me a little embarrassed.

Tuck the tie back under itself imo. Did this for a wedding on sat, I'm rubbish at tie knots and the fat end always ends up being too long.

Good idea. I had it tucked into my trousers, but it keeps springing loose and you can just imagine that at some point hilarious consequences will ensue.

At my work no fucker acknowledges a held-open door; have occasionally even been glowered at as recipient passes through.

I get the glower from female co-workers occasionally. Also on several occasions have held the door for couples at e.g. a restaurant, to have the woman thank me while the man follows behind her, glowering.

In this modern age, I feel like I have to look at my phone while waiting for my to-go order/coffee drink or else I’ll look impatient.

omg me too