Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Hoo buoy."

"The Residents did it in 1974, Jenkins. And with a lot more balls."

"You've been down too long in the midnight sea, I fear"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/10/p465/121210_contest_p465.jpg

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/10/p290/121210_contest_p290.jpg

"Well, everyone else was washing windscreens, so I just figured, 'what the hell'"

"Doctor Doctor, I feel like a cafe."
"I suggest you rest-aurant for a while."

"So far, so good. Now for the prostate check"

Okay, good. Now read the bill.

So... this is weird.

It was originally a typo, but Walk-On Clinic has some legs.

"My ipod's busted."

"Wh's the doctor here?"

I dunno, this is the most useless picture source. "My dog has no nose", whatever..

I have no suggestion, but the picture did remind me of this from Nathaniel West's novel Miss Lonelyhearts
"In the street again, Miss Lonelyhearts wondered what to do next. He was too excited to eat and afraid to go home. He felt as though his heart were a bomb, a complicated bomb that would result in a simple explosion, wrecking the world without rocking it."

"Breathe faster! I have another appointment in five minutes."

"I could kill you with just one thought."

"My life sucks. I can't wait for the future when you can get a heart monitor on a watchband"

"un-hunh, seems normal. ok, last question- are you still seeing these streets everywhere you look?"

"It's OK Doctor, I don't think I'm an iPod anymore!"

"Sometimes I feel I've got to...run away I've got to..."

"I'm sorry we couldn't do this in the office today, but the specialists have assured me the Asbestos levels will be back below lethal doses by week's end"

The Bowl Head pic: caption finallists..

"What happened to your goldfish?"
"It looks like Ted is out of gumballs. Meeting adjourned."
"I miss you, too, Aunt Maude, but we were hoping to speak with Mr. Jobs."

and the small version of this weeks pic:

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/17/p290/121217_contest_p290.jpg

subject to delivery and related charges

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/17/p465/121217_contest_p465.jpg

"What is this terrifying scratchy cramped and ill-proportioned world I have woken into? What's wrong with everyone's eyes and noses? Aaaaaaaah!"

I told you we were bitten by the Love Bug!

your vagina actually was a clown car all along

That is so terribly drawn, I read that as some dudes giving a sick girl a toy car, and I was like, I don't know what to do with that.

"i was hoping for a sailboat"

"In Soviet Union, car comes out of you!"

"It's a boy racer"

"Congratulations, it's a Lexus! Would you like to cut the gift ribbon?"

big versh of that picture not working for me, here or on ny'er site. huh.

Yeah, I posted it anyway, as usually it fills in at some point (see tomorrow)

Have a car, sick woman.

/!\ hurting wins the new yorker caption contest /!\

would bet cash some variant of that will be a finalist

"Here's little John-John, Mrs. Ballard."

"It's even easier to sell than a baby!"

"Your stupid baby thinks the door is a jar."

YOU DID FUCK THAT CAMRY!

"General Motors thanks you for your cooperation. Now let's try to carry one to full term."

feel like there's a fart joke in here somewhere

something with gas...

"I've heard of autofellatio, but autocoitus?"

"be careful where you cut the cord, you could get gas all up in your mouth"

"This is what happens when you eat unpasteurized cheese."

"She looks like both of you - a perfect hybrid!"

"Ah, Dr. Patel, my old nemesis. We meet again!"