Shakey Mo's thread of misery

i think you're gonna beat this thing. it might take some time. either you'll find the right drug balance and/or lifestyle changes. or it'll dissipate on its own. or both!

it's just an adjustment period, lots of trial and error. you'll find a groove soon and put the smackdown on that tinnitus, dawg

one day at a time, man. it's like being a recovering alcoholic. and be thankful for all the health issues you don't have.

(these are the things i'm telling myself every day)

talked to the psych nurse who wrote my original prescription – she suggested some dosage adjustments, which I guess I will try tonight

ambien walrus here I come

goo goo g'joob

can you guys uh like talk me through the rest hour and a half or so

sure

in a lol ambien walrus move I did actually lose my car key the other day (albeit not while I was asleep or attempting to sleep-drive)

when I finally found it I was like YES! I SOLVED A PROBLEM I am not totally useless

I can't believe I'm at work, charging people for sitting at my desk with sweaty palms. god I am really lucky to have this job

it'd be cool if you could pick your sleep-ambien activity

like instead of something dangerous like driving you just sleep-played chess, or sleep-dance-dance-revolutioned

I have done some weird things in my sleep in my life, but I can't really fathom getting out of bed, going downstairs, finding my keys, going out the door, into the elevator, into the garage, and getting into my car. like, I'm just not that coordinated.

yeah I mean even in an automatic just like, driving the car around in your sleep is fking CRAZY

on a different note, I think the best thing that has happened to me in recent days has been singing Lee Hazlewood's "Hey Cowboy" with my daughter, she has the words memorized now

hey cowboy where's you get the funny walk

omg that's super cute!!

I just remembered this silly thing Kristen Chenoweth said on Conan about tweeting on ambien, it's kinda funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vtE7nnjHw8

jesus christ she's like a bobblehead

I've been trying to focus on playing country songs each day, just to distract myself, something I can do with my daughter. she is REALLY into Cash on the Barrelhead

I just remembered this silly thing Kristen Chenoweth said on Conan about tweeting on ambien, it's kinda funny

the uploader has not made this video available in your country, rescind VG's passport

;_;

she talks abt eating chicken wings in her sleep and sleep-tweeting about newlyweds not going on cruise ships or they will be murdered or something

xxpost omg I love cash on the barrelhead

shakey have u heard this version, from the louvin bros tribute album?

it's not bad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcw2trp0WzA&feature=share&list=PLdp8eyPEymlXVxKUt9pkKyaUvrxcHTdWD

Did you ever get around to reading the Charlie Louvin book, Shakey?

hey shakes... i can't smoke weed anymore cuz i get the anxiety/fear/paranoia etc. but i have noticed that pairing it with a well-timed ativan (like 30 mins before) and i enjoy it w/o those side effects. not a doctor, but just saying, this has worked for me.

I have not read that Charlie Louvin book yet thx for the reminder. reading is kinda hard for me these days unfortunately :(

there may come a time when I will enjoy a lil recreational weed+ativan but at the moment I don't think I can handle either. the weed makes me focus on the tinnitus too much, I'm just too much of an audio-centered guy. and I stopped the ativan cuz I was taking it regularly for like 10+ days and it's not good to get hooked on that shit. of course now I'm in a whole other cocktail stew of meds so wtf do I know

xp

how do you fare with audiobooks and the like?

hmmm never really tried em. honestly I have my ipod headphones on constantly now, altho the music that distracts me tends to vary from day to day. one day it was pretty much just the Jack Johnson box set. today it is Dolly Parton. some kinds of recordings/genres I just can't take at all anymore tho

maybe u could try an audio version of a book you want to read, if actual reading is problematic. dunno if the tinnitus would interfere with that still though...maybe you could try a podcast or two and see if it is easy to just listen to talking

u using in-ear headphones?

yes

i thought those weren't supposed to be good for hearing in general? i certainly find them uncomfortable and tinny.

somebody recommended Valerian tea to me for sleep, w/ the caveat that it smells like feet.

my mum used to drink that for her insomnia, she said it helped.

i thought those weren't supposed to be good for hearing in general?

I talked to the Kaiser audiologist about this and he was unconcerned.

tried Valerian, that shit fucked me up worse.

I am kind of on to a regular sleep regimen but yeah meds are required... I am trying to take solace from the numerous anecdotal stories friends and acquaintances have told me that basically amount to "oh shit yeah I had that and then one day I just woke up and it was gone". A bunch of people have told me this - and it seems more consistent with my lack of physical symptoms, some weird thing that's triggered in the brain and then just rights itself. In the meantime I am really having a difficult time from day to day and even hour to hour but I sort of have to believe this is what's gonna happen... most stories I've heard from people indicate a duration of a couple to a few months. I'm kind of surprised at how common this is actually.

and this is not internet anecdotes I'm talking about btw. (my wife has told me to stop googling shit about this and I'm sure that's in my best interest)

wife otm

UCSF not calling me back/still don't have an appointment. doctors' schedules are so frustrating. throwing around the word "emergency" seems to be helpful with the psych dept... I'm gonna stop taking this zoloft, it's just not workin for me. feel like all I'm gettin is bad side effects.

u try st john's wort?

don't combine that one with ssris, iirc

I have not tried st john's. I talked to the psych nurse and she said just stop taking zoloft altogether if its just giving me the shakes/sweats.

I dunno where else to put this so I'm just gonna post it here

SSRIs are notoriously slow-working and adherence to them is terrible partly for this reason (coupled with the side effects you mentioned). if you can bear the side effects at least until you see a doctor next maybe try to keep on it for at least then so he or she can re-evaluate, especially if the anxiety is a main concern. i asked about the starting dose because people with anxiety are erroneously started on the depression starting dose (50) all the time, which causes them to have some of the side effects you describe and discontinue taking them

well, that could help i guess xp

yeah I can't bear the side effects. It's been 12 days. psych nurse who wrote my prescription said to stop it so that's what I'm doing.

she seems more concerned about getting me on a sleep regimen that weans me off the ambien cuz I've been taking more of that than I should, it sounds like

I am gonna beat this fucking thing

sleep is the most important priority here imo. as somebody said upthread, trying not to think too hard about it is key - that's why I'm a big advocate of good old talk therapy for chronic afflictions. you'll get to a much better place for sure. but for the time being so much has to do with where you're able to put your focus, imo. but that's after sleep. sleep will solve a whole lot of problems.

I'm sleeping around 6 hrs a night, but it's all drug induced