Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Why are you sitting in my chair? You're a mover! Get back to work!"

good afternoon. please take a seat.

"Hi boss. I found you some new slaves."

"You know, this is exactly the kind of mundane and boring situation that gets turned into a New Yorker caption competition."

"Next time you take on new patients, I suggest you read the prenup."

The finallists for the "join the dots bloke"..

"One thing led to another."

"He's not finished."

"He makes me feel young again."

mmm. OK, fair play to at least two of those..

If this is a red cross, my guess is it'll fill in later. If it isn't, I was right..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/03/p465/121203_contest_p465.jpg

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/03/p290/121203_contest_p290.jpg

Any ideas?

vg+

Really, there's nothing legit to say there outside of an idea joke.

or maybe an Ikea joke?

or an IKEA joke maybe

or possibly an idea joke

TIMIN!

"i'm afraid we're going to have to replace you with someone who is more efficient"

"Who dressed the gumball machine in a suit and put it on Todd's chair? And why is it empty?"

"Hey! Who turned out the lights? Hey! Who turned out the lights? Hey..."

"No one is getting sleepy, Jerry. Quit stalling and present the quarterly report."

"How many of us will it take to..."

"I'd like to welcome our new economic advisor..."

"I wish -- just once -- that for lunch you'd do something besides dim sum."

"Christ, what an asshole."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. My head is in a giant glass globe."

"I know that's not a snow globe, Jim. You just need to do something about your dandruff."

"I have our future earnings report right here. Look deeply into my head."

"So would you say signs point to yes?"

These sales figures are gumbelievable!

"For Christ's sake, Bob, see a doctor and get that lanced."

"The suit passes muster, Taylor. It's the non-standard head that this board will not tolerate."

"Do nothing at all? You know, I like that, Brian."

"A vote of no confidence? You big fucking cum-bubble."

"We get it. This is about more than a new flavor of catfood. Goldfish have rights too."

"So how was your solo ballooning holiday, Cuthbert?"

"It's a big opportunity. You'll be the first Jehovah's Witness on the moon."

"Let me guess. The optician said it would give you insight?"

"I know it's American Global Domination day, Mike, but most guys just wear a lapel flag."

"You're cookin' up a real head of steam today."

"So, give us the pitch, Jack. Why is the future helium?"

"Every time he sneezes, General Electric catches a flu."

"That's wiped the smile off Mr Acid House here, hasn't it?"

"The Pillsbury company can never thank you enough, Doughboy."

"Let me get this straight. Iran is storing its poison gas right here in the Oval Office?"

"You don't have to explain, Kelly. I felt the same when I first read The Bell Jar."

"No, Tompkins, I have NOT heard of Moondog."

"Now, what can you tell us about the future of crystal, Ball?"

"Got a light?"

"Are you feeling lightheaded?"

"I can't help noticing you only have three pens in your pocket today, Mr Bharghantosaurilypsoposslethwanavadgerentyloscopybarndancebillowghramorgasmicblechingersolritual."

"For fuck's sake, Groper, not the Monty Python sketch again."