"You've mastered being an Armchair Critic, now it's time for you to try being a Couch Potato!"
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:46 (eleven years ago) link
"It's very bad news, I'm afraid. You might want to be sitting down for this. Twice."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:48 (eleven years ago) link
"Your arse has become so big that you need half a sofa for each cheek."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:49 (eleven years ago) link
"Yes, I'm well aware that Bruce Nauman did this in 1972. But this time it's ironic."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:51 (eleven years ago) link
"My husband did what you said and died. But at least he's no longer sofa-ing."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:54 (eleven years ago) link
"Is this While-U-Wait Upholsterers? I've brought my sofa in for it's ten thousand mile service."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:54 (eleven years ago) link
"It's actually a praying mantis."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:55 (eleven years ago) link
"Sorry about last time. I've re-upholstered the sofa and stuffed the men."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:57 (eleven years ago) link
"Hello, is this Remote-Controls-Removed-From-The-Backs-Of-Sofas While-U-Wait? I've got an emergency here."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:58 (eleven years ago) link
"Oh, it's not for us. It's for the pot plant, the desklamp, and the telephone."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 22:58 (eleven years ago) link
"Apparently the cartoonist doesn't know how the fuck to draw doors either."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:00 (eleven years ago) link
"These are my three husbands, Jeff, Sofa and Mike."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:01 (eleven years ago) link
"Dungarees look really stupid, don't they."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:02 (eleven years ago) link
"I figured with a larger armchair there'd be a bit more breathing space for your erection."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:04 (eleven years ago) link
"We're going to kill that triffid in the corner of the room by dropping this sofa on it. While you wait."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:05 (eleven years ago) link
"Why do we have curtains and Venetian blinds?"
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:06 (eleven years ago) link
"Do you mind if my uncles sit in? Don't worry, they're imbeciles."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:06 (eleven years ago) link
"Doctor, I'm suffering from nose-shaped-like-a-penis envy."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:08 (eleven years ago) link
"Do you mind if my two previous analysts sit in? Don't worry, they're catatonic subhumans."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:10 (eleven years ago) link
Man standing right behind woman: "Have you ever seen anyone carrying a sofa this way in real life? This is so unrealistic."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:11 (eleven years ago) link
"While admittedly this might not be the ideal space to workshop my 'Straw Dogs' musical ..."
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:11 (eleven years ago) link
"That's your chair. And this is your chair on drugs."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:12 (eleven years ago) link
"We're all staring in completely different directions. This picture would make one hell of a difficult 'spot the ball' competition."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:13 (eleven years ago) link
"I've killed your arch-enemy, the evil dentist Dr Blok, and covered this sofa with his skin."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:16 (eleven years ago) link
"Bernie Madoff sent me. He's sorry about the $45m, but believes his favorite sofa can go some way towards repaying you."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:18 (eleven years ago) link
"Take this down, Stevens."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:20 (eleven years ago) link
"Here's that sofa with the strine green stripe pattern you ordered. We're so glad you didn't pretend to be terminally ill at a whole load of support groups, meet some crazy woman, go off with your imaginary friend, and form a quasi-terrorist anti-capitalist organisation!"
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:21 (eleven years ago) link
"I'm sorry we're late, but they kept making Freudian slips."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:21 (eleven years ago) link
"Look what we found in the trash - the return of the repressed!"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:23 (eleven years ago) link
"Do you have two dollars for Deleuze and Guattari?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:24 (eleven years ago) link
"Fumes... everywhere.. like I can't breathe."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:25 (eleven years ago) link
"I thought I was sick until I ran into these guys at Ikea. So I gave them your fee."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:29 (eleven years ago) link
"Wow, I thought it was only McDonalds that gave free plastic gifts with a Happy Meal."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:30 (eleven years ago) link
"I'm sorry, we overran on the porn shoot. Do you mind if Brad and Swinger do the money shot in your office?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:32 (eleven years ago) link
"There's a brand new dance, but I don't know its name."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:34 (eleven years ago) link
"I've been cheating on you with a taxidermist."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:36 (eleven years ago) link
"I know you said I should keep my feet firmly on the ground, but the chiropodist down the hall told me to put them up."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe, AMIRITE?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:38 (eleven years ago) link
"In Soviet Russia, couch lies on YOU in therapy sessions!
― 5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:39 (eleven years ago) link
lol
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:41 (eleven years ago) link
first one that made me lol
"These bastards wolf-whistled me from their truck. Give them the same painful vasectomy you gave George, please."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:42 (eleven years ago) link
"Doctor, I'm being followed by a sophist."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:44 (eleven years ago) link
"This is the actual spot where Lou Reed wrote Heroin."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:46 (eleven years ago) link
"Is this your sedan, your oriental manservants? I'm afraid they were on a double yellow line."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:49 (eleven years ago) link
"I finally found a judge's wig in your size!"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:50 (eleven years ago) link
"I don't think I have Oedipal issues; mine are more Sophoclean."
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:51 (eleven years ago) link
"That one's for your ass, this one's for your ego. Your superego's tied up on the Hudson."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:52 (eleven years ago) link
"Look! It's my favorite Neil Young song come to life!"
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:53 (eleven years ago) link
"What do you mean, this doesn't constitute proof that I've killed Fidel Castro?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:54 (eleven years ago) link