worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

awesome, ask her if she wants to go to Guy's American whatever it's called

HAHAHAHA YOU DICK HAHAHAHAHAHA

that's what I get for working

ask her if she wants to play teddy ruxpin

tell her a man's got his patience, and here's where yours ends

haha no i didnt't msg beverly [REDACTED] i posted guy-fucking to djp's facebook

omg

and then I deleted it and called strongo a bastard on his facebook

what must the community think

I was all "doo-dih-doo, I wonder what awesome track strongo posted on my wall, maybe he threw 'Unity In Dub' up there OMG NO NO NO BOXCAR"

this has been quite a day!

plz let us know if you msg the lovely ms. redacted

well as for beverly [REDACTED], sorry, toots. you had your chance. i'm taken now.

In honor of Guy, I'm going to pour mayonnaise on tonight's salad and put the whole thing in a deep fryer.

I think even those brief excerpts of fic have ruined me psychologically.

what, the thought of hot ham sauce itt wasn't enough

i sense nanowrimo's influence in this.

if it were earlier in the month i would totally do a guy fieri nanowrimo

let's just do it anyway

djp will you go to guy fieri's restaurant with me?

FUCK YES I WILL

I have to do an NYC trip at some point anyway to visit FB and his fiancee so that would dovetail nicely

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 9:05 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ahaha.

We anticipate. We descend. We eat and drink stupid stuff. We act like a bunch of crazy guys. We laugh. We laugh too hard. We laugh to cover the emptiness of this gesture. We hate ourselves. We vomit. We post it to a message board.

Sure, why not?

can we do collab nanowrimo, is that a thing that can happen

this has to be at least as salable as my plan to rewrite candide as chick lit

Somebody start a guy fieri collectiv ilxor nanwrimo thread

STATELY, PLUMP GUY FIERI CAME TO THE STAIRHEAD, BEARING A BOWL OF PEPPER JACK

oh jesus

CALL ME DONKEY SAUCE

SO WE EAT ON, OLIVES IN THE FRIED POUNDCAKE, BORNE BACK CEASELESSLY INTO THE JOHN

omg u guys

nanowrimo username: KER-SPLOOSH
password: fieri

has been created

MRS. DALLOWAY SAID SHE WOULD BUY THE SPICY BURRITO PEPPER JACK CHICKEN BLASTERS HERSELF

hahahahahaha dude YES

A SCREAMING COMES ACROSS TEX WASABI'S. IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, BUT THERE IS NOTHING TO COMPARE IT TO NOW.

HIS BELLY WAS CHURNING LIKE MAD AND YES I SAID I'D FART I SAID YES I WILL YES

it is a truth universally acknowledged that a gringo in possession of a sushi roll must be in want of some pepperjack.

why are you so good at this alfred it's unsettling

Fieri, light of my life, fire in my colon. My sin, my salami. Fi-e-ri: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three licks down the truffle fry to tap, at three, on the teeth.

ahem

SO WE EAT ON, OLIVES IN THE FRIED POUNDCAKE, BORNE BACK CEASELESSLY INTO THE JOHN

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:00 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

almost did a coca-cola spit-take onto my laptop

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover donkey sauce.

your mrs. dalloway one made me lol too, que! alfred is just extra-gross with it.

xp lol

STATELY, PLUMP GUY FIERI CAME TO THE STAIRHEAD, BEARING A BOWL OF PEPPER JACK - ilxors knee deep in guy fieri nanowrimo project

I AM SEATED IN A CHAIN RESTAURANT, SURROUNDED BY HEADS AND JALAPENO POPPERS. MY POSTURE IS CONSCIOUSLY CONGRUENT TO THE SHAPE OF MY VINYL BOOTH.

Fried broccoli-balls have flown their Arcs, smear'd the Sides of Outhouses, as of Guys, carried o-rings away into the brisk Wind off Hudson

Guy fried cheese today. Or maybe yesterday, I don't know.

omg

alfred i already have heart troubles

For a long time, I let Fieri bread my sushi in donkey sauce batter early.

ONE SUMMER AFTERNOON MRS BEVERLY (REDACTED) CAME HOME FROM A TUPPERWARE PARTY WHOSE HOSTESS HAD PUT TOO MUCH PEPPERJACK IN THE SUSHI TO FIND THAT SHE, BEVERLY (REDACTED), HAD BEEN NAMED EXECUTOR, OR SHE SUPPOSED EXECUTRIX, OF THE ESTATE OF ONE GUY FIERI, A CALIFORNIA DONKEY SAUCE MOGUL WHO HAD ONCE LOST TWO MILLION DOLLARS IN HIS SPARE TIME BUT STILL HAD HAM NUMEROUS AND TANGLED ENOUGH TO MAKE THE JOB OF SORTING IT ALL OUT MORE THAN HONORARY.

He had already chosen the title of the book, after much thought: The Fry-o-lation of the Primitive Tourists of the Lower Intestine.

guys we can bind this and call it The Book of Hells

STATELY, PLUMP GUY FIERI CAME TO THE STAIRHEAD

^ next level