worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

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our man x-p

under minnesota shakedown (mh), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

martini glass should be made of pita

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

-evoo shot as chaser

乒乓, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

dear god wait m@tt is from mn and depending on where he went to college

― Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 11:28 AM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ahahahahaha i think i'm following you here

well if it isn't old 11 cameras simon (gbx), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

this could be the best missed connection ad of all time

Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

in the last three hours i've thought about guy fieri's orgasms and revealed my biggest childhood heartbreak. i need a job.

^ new board description

5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

man can i just say, speaking of evoo, shakey mo's girlfriend is looking rough these days

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

in the last three hours i've thought about guy fieri's orgasms and revealed my biggest childhood heartbreak. i need a job.

Guy Fieri's fiery orgasms

"SPICY!" *smell of chorizo suffuses the room*

dear god wait m@tt is from mn and depending on where he went to college

omg hahahahahahahahaha

I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

rachel ray what happened to you, baby

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:30 (eleven years ago) link

From Sacramento Yelp - Tex Wasabi's review

Mamma D.
I know good food because it comes out of my kitchen
Rio Linda, CA

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6/6/2012
I give the food 5 stars I do gringo or fully cooked sushi and my favs jack ass (pulled pork fries rolled n rice paper and rice covered in sriratcha mayo) or kemosabe rolls (brisket fries onion) the hog tied king( salmon cream cheese bacon onion tempura battered and deep.fried fish is fully cooked) queen of tom tom (tempura shrimp avacado cream cheese) screamin gobbler(turkey fresh jalapeno pepper jack cheese) some of these are no longer on the menu but they will make tnem wow the bbq sushi combo has ribs to die for tasty and tender and half a chicken mmm their beans are the best ive ever had the other sides aren't that great garlic fries are major on the garlic so beware the only issues is service is super slow sometimes and food wait can be a while oh and the peach cobbler. Yummmmmmmm I love how the bbq and sushi are tied together by the interesting gringo Sushi and the wabojito is a must as well

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:31 (eleven years ago) link

hog tied king

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:32 (eleven years ago) link

^ foetus song

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:32 (eleven years ago) link

queen of tom tom

Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:32 (eleven years ago) link

wabojito

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:33 (eleven years ago) link

wait a goddamn minute, shouldn't it be gaijin sushi?

does smooshing cloacae together actually count as sodomy??? (silby), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:33 (eleven years ago) link

no, it should not

I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:33 (eleven years ago) link

I just re-read that review as sung by JG Thirwell

nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:33 (eleven years ago) link

martini glass should be made of pita

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl),

with a side of spinach artichoke

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:34 (eleven years ago) link

"hot horse" does sound like it could be a guy recipe name

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:34 (eleven years ago) link

my favs jack ass

super perv powder (Phil D.), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:34 (eleven years ago) link

i can't vouch for the truth of the story. i can vouch for the fact said ruxpin fire-setter did a shitload of drugs and is now a successful lawyer.

ums (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:35 (eleven years ago) link

I'm just picturing Mamma D with a table full of terrifying sushi rolls cramming them in her face with one hand and writing her yelp review in real time with the other

YUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:36 (eleven years ago) link

</paul harvey>

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:36 (eleven years ago) link

that's an xpost but honestly at this point this thread is a mutant star trek fungus growing of its own accord

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:36 (eleven years ago) link

phrase that just popped into my head: guy fieri's hot ham hocks

乒乓, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:37 (eleven years ago) link

apparently the wabojito is this:

Splash raspberry puree (or 5 to 6 fresh raspberries)
8 to 10 fresh mint leaves plus more, for garnish
1 lime, juice
Ice
2 ounces silver tequila (recommended: Cabo Wabo Silver)
Splash sweet and sour mix
Soda Water
Fresh raspberries, for garnish

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:37 (eleven years ago) link

so I think I mentioned this upthread but guy fieri apparently stopped by a mexican place I go to in queens for his show, and he left behind his image spray paint stenciled on the wall w/ his signature

iatee, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:37 (eleven years ago) link

the fuck was teddy ruxpin's creepy bug friend's name again

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:37 (eleven years ago) link

I just want to know if she means the nape of her neck when she says "her kitchen", as in the sentence "oof I've got peas in my kitchen, time to make a hair appointment"

I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

here we go
http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2789/4459126334_dba9293927_m.jpg

he does it to all the restaurants

iatee, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

the fuck was teddy ruxpin's creepy bug friend's name again

guy fieri

beef richards (Mr. Que), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

i mean i could easily wikipedia this but you know i'm too busy listening to faith and weeping

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

Goatee. Pigtails.

Michelle S.
It's a simple question, doctor. Would you eat the moon if it were made of…
Oakland, CA

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9/27/2008
Um, this was not my idea. And, I know you're going to read this and think to yourself, "Well, duh! OF COURSE the sushi was horrific because you ate it at a glorified Cattlemen's-Outback-TGI Friday's with samauri swords on the walls!!!!!" Yes, I am aware that I should not be surprised. However, this was not my idea and, well, sometimes you have to "take one for the team" and pretend to eat mediocre food because it is in front of someone you love. Well, now that that's behind me, I am totally allowed to give my uncensored Yelp reviews about the shitty restaurants that I was dragged to because I am no longer worried about Mr. Urban Socialite stalking me on Yelp and possibly having his feelings hurt.

Phew, movingalongthen....

The BBQ was mediocre at best and the sushi was, um, well, if a menu actually has a "gringo sushi" section, PASS.

I want to throw up extra stars for the waiter whose goatee was long enough to put into little pigtails because that's kinda cool in the "wow, they are allowed additional flair in order to express themselves"...then I realized that he handled my food...

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

doodle bug

Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:39 (eleven years ago) link

Worlds of Wonder made different outfits for Teddy & Grubby. These were sold separately and include:

Flying Outfit
Hiking Outfit (both Teddy and Grubby had their own version)
Nightshirt
Raincoat
Christmas Outfit
Sleeping Outfit (both Teddy and Grubby had their own version)
Summertime Outfit
Tuxedo
Winter Outfit
Workout Outfit

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:40 (eleven years ago) link

"Raincoat"

idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:40 (eleven years ago) link

from now on, we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Doodle Bug"

I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:40 (eleven years ago) link

It looks like it says "GUY FITE HERE." Like, either this is the prearranged spot where GUYS meet to FITE, or GUY is saying ME FITE HERE.

5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:40 (eleven years ago) link

wait they had a bug called grubby

Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:40 (eleven years ago) link

now im glad i set that fucker on fire

Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

This looks good:

Tahini Surprise

Egg white
1 lime, squeezed
1/4 inch scallion, chopped
3/4 oz demerara
1/2 oz Tahini Paste
1 chunk Pineapple
1/2 oz Dolin Blanc
1/2 oz Velvet Falernum
2 oz Gran Sierpe Pisco

http://cocktailenthusiast.com/2010/07/09/gran-sierpe-piscos-iron-chef-cocktails/

nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

Doodle Bug just made the whole room smell like chorizo : (

乒乓, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

from now on we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Brocktoon"

super perv powder (Phil D.), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link

from now on, we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Doodle Bug"

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:40 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh please don't, I use that as a term of endearment for my partner

does smooshing cloacae together actually count as sodomy??? (silby), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/p1BHA.jpg

乒乓, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

so I think I mentioned this upthread but guy fieri apparently stopped by a mexican place I go to in queens for his show, and he left behind his image spray paint stenciled on the wall w/ his signature

the spray made of fried mushrooms and fecal matter

the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

This looks good:

Tahini Surprise

Egg white
1 lime, squeezed
1/4 inch scallion, chopped
3/4 oz demerara
1/2 oz Tahini Paste
1 chunk Pineapple
1/2 oz Dolin Blanc
1/2 oz Velvet Falernum
2 oz Gran Sierpe Pisco

http://cocktailenthusiast.com/2010/07/09/gran-sierpe-piscos-iron-chef-cocktails/

― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:41 PM (17 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jesus christ

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

imagining jordan and strongo driving cross country to eat tex wasabi sushi listening to teddy ruxpin belt out faith over and over again

beef richards (Mr. Que), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

maybe these are only amusing me but fuckit, this one is gold

430 friends
455 reviews

Jenn N.
Love like there's no tomorrow.
Brentwood, CA

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3/7/2011 1 Check-in Here
I'm your huckleberry...

Tex Wasabi's is my restaurant huckleberry. We didn't have reservations but took a chance on a Saturday night and popped in. We were seated quickly - near the fireplace, no less! At first Kung Fu Panda was playing on the big screen but that soon faded to Tombstone. Both winners in my book.

We ordered a modestly priced (A 2009 Tamas Pinot Grigio) bottle of wine for the table. Low price or not, it was great. That tells me they are careful to put together a superb wine list.

In vino veritas.

I excitedly ordered the dirty magazine roll and had a back-up plan. Just in case they were going to break my heart and no longer serve that. Luckily they were and it was every bit as beautiful as I would have imagined.

We also ordered a brisket sandwich that was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The fries were fresh, tasty and crispy. I didn't try the ribs but all who ordered them were raving.

My only critique was of the soy sauce. It was definitly off/old, bleh. I could have asked for a new bottle but I was 2 or 3 glasses of vino in and well,..I didn't really care at that point.

A one man band set up half way through our meal. He had everyone singing along to "It Ain't Me Babe". My daughter lit up at that one, as she has been on a Johnny Cash kick lately.

Service was a bit slow toward the end of the meal but we were having such a great time, I barely noticed.

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 November 2012 17:43 (eleven years ago) link


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