worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

I don't trust Diners, Drive ins, and Dives because Guy chose a year old fish-n-chips place (Mac's Fish and Chips) over myriad better options and acted like it was Santa Barbara canon. It also doesn't fit into his triple D genre.

I just found something beautiful.

http://cdn.crushable.com/files/2011/08/tumblr_lqpakfnQ2E1qzy8n8o1_500.jpg

http://p.twimg.com/Ajv698gCMAAq1yd.jpg:large

i kind of want a teddy ruxpin except it's guy fieri

http://i.imgur.com/CtODg.jpg

if you could put a cassette in Guy Fieri's back and make him lip-sync to, say, "Fucked" by GOD, that would be the BEST

A+ pics guys! A+ pics, Guy!

one time when i was a kid we put the cassingle of "i want your sex" into teddy ruxpin

omg

that day, strongo became a man

strongo if you cannot be friends w/guy you can at least eat his head and absorb his essence

http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/7586/blackwatergrill2.jpg

it was like say anything except i was 9 and the boombox was a teddy ruxpin

Not to digress too much, but I believe Jane and Michael Stern put another fishhook in an imprisoned orphan's neck every time Guy Fieri's name is spoken out loud.

how do i make a drink out of hummus

sorry i am on my own vision quest over here

I will help you

r.i.p. beverly [REDACTED] you were my one true love and you never understood what i was trying to tell you with that teddy ruxpin

i really want falafel now

even though i mean the lyrics to "i want your sex" are pretty fucking obvious, toots

I am now envisioning some kind of holiday-themed McDonald's-steez hummus milkshake and I think I need to lie down.

1/4 cup hummus
1/2 cup gin
1/4 cup olives
1 cup yogurt

guy fieri has ruined us all

ruined? he's LIBERATED me.

i've been a broken man since 1987

dying itt

garnish with feta and grape leaves

trying to decide if you mean help me in a design the drink way, or a charitable interventiony way xposts

when i worked at a bar in college one of the regulars was this law student at the time in his early 30s, he drank a lot and def liked to party....one time he told me this story about he and this dude were getting fucked up on DMT in the basement of the apartment building they lived in, the boiler room, and they set a teddy ruxpin on fire, he said it was horrifying

well he's helped you strongo, i think he's ruined DJP

djp that drink might actually be...good?

1/4 cup hummus
1/2 cup gin
1/4 cup olives
1 cup yogurt

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:20 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

garnish with feta and grape leaves

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:21 PM (41 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Exhibit A

hahahaha i have set a teddy ruxpin on fire!

pretty sure that's a section from infinite jest, m@tt

strongo stuck the "I Want Your Sex" cassingle in his Teddy Ruxpin in 2006.

djp that drink might actually be...good?

http://northoftheriver.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/obamabrushingthatdirtoffhisshoulder.jpg

huh we might have gotten the idea from infinite jest then. that makes me feel a little better about myself.

they set a teddy ruxpin on fire, he said it was horrifying

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_upF4Etvqv9Y/ST6ZbIXHOKI/AAAAAAAACYk/rTZuthMa6Tg/s200/GriftBurningFunzo.jpg

no, sorry, jjj. i made that up. you're an awful person all on your own.

awful...ly wonderful.

hahaha well shit then

there is a Johnny Garlic's within 30 miles of me, and a Tex Wasabi's a mere 5 miles away. If you ever are looking for a reason to go to Sacramento #justsayin

my god it's only 12:26

really tho, what child didn't look at the Teddy Ruxpin commercial or the actual doll and think "I wonder what it would look like on fire?"

why would you need literary inspiration, anyway? the idea of setting teddy ruxpin on fire is sorta self-evident. to even look at a teddy ruxpin is to imagine it ablaze

xp

the good news, strongo, is you're still on a humane sleep schedule

in the last three hours i've thought about guy fieri's orgasms and revealed my biggest childhood heartbreak. i need a job.

I guess the bad news is you've spent all morning writing Guy Fieri fanfic but otoh we are all benefitting

how do i make a drink out of hummus

― Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 11:18 AM (51 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

2 oz garlic infused vodka
2 oz liquid from can of chickpeas
liberal dash of lemon juice

shake over ice
pour into martini glass

coat the rim with tahini
garnish with a clove of garlic

dear god wait m@tt is from mn and depending on where he went to college