OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060312024346/muppet/images/2/29/Drteeth2.jpg

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120309030013/muppet/images/c/c3/Kids_menu_-_Mama_Melrose%27s_Ristorante_Italiano.jpg

lol all that clicking inspired a sequel. i hate the internet.

haha! sorry. its kinda funny though. they sent in the big guns! love this:

Yesterday's much celebrated "Ten Jazz Albums to Hear Before You Die" post was a starter course, an easily digestible, rudimentary entry into the storied genre that not one person on the planet disagreed with. But today, we go further. Because for every Blue Train or Kind of Blue there's a jazz album that's as good, or better, but infinitely more obscure. Here are 10 of them, culled from about 100 years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhDJe8IP8A0

At least they got decent writers the second time around. I was on an EMP panel with Rodriguez, and I've employed Kassel as a freelancer myself. And the ten discs they chose are an interesting mix. But none of that washes away the stain of the first piece.

Don't worry, I'm not going to get too music geek on you right now

thanks for going easy on me, half note

http://www.au-lapin-agile.com/img/cabaret.jpg

so we don't all have to clickthrough that:

Ten (More) Jazz Albums to Hear Before You Die
By Sound of the City Wed., Nov. 14 2012 at 7:20 AM
Categories: Jazz

By Matthew Kassel and Alex W. Rodriguez

Yesterday's much celebrated "Ten Jazz Albums to Hear Before You Die" post was a starter course, an easily digestible, rudimentary entry into the storied genre that not one person on the planet disagreed with. But today, we go further. Because for every Blue Train or Kind of Blue there's a jazz album that's as good, or better, but infinitely more obscure. Here are 10 of them, culled from about 100 years.

See Also:
- Ten Jazz Albums to Hear Before You Die
- Top Ten Jazz Shows in NYC This Month

10. Louis Armstrong
Satchmo at Symphony Hall
Louis Armstrong's triumphant return to the small-ensemble format came with the trumpeter at the peak of his powers, and surrounded by virtuoso sidemen. In addition to Armstrong's updated renditions of his classic repertoire, clarinetist Barney Bigard and trombonist Jack Teagarden give inspired performances during their respective features, making this a singular document of these original jazz giants at their absolute best.

9. Sidney Bechet
Moasic Select: Sidney Bechet
Sidney Bechet's completely inimitable style is in full force on these remastered takes of his work with Columbia from the 1920s to the 1940s. Really, any record that features Bechet's wild virtuosity and shuddering vibrato is worth a listen; this boxed set just happens to feature some of the most carefully-restored examples of it, which can be difficult to find. Or, you can hear his "Si Tu Vois Ma Mere" as the opening cut on the Midnight in Paris soundtrack -- we can always leave it to Woody Allen to give the early jazz greats their due.

8. The Quintet
Jazz at Massey Hall
On May 15, 1953, the world heavy weight champion Rocky Marciano knocked out Jersey Joe Walcott to defend his title in a boxing match in Chicago. That same night Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Bud Powell, Charles Mingus and Max Roach got on a stage in Toronto and played bebop standards with the same vigor with which a pugilist might throw his prize-winning punch. More people watched the boxing match 50 years ago, but you'd do well to check out this album now. Listen to Gillespie impetuously shrieking "salt PEE-nuts!" as Parker enters his solo.

7. Nancy Wilson with the Cannonball Adderley Quintet
Nancy Wilson/Cannonball Adderley
Nancy Wilson was only 24 years old when she joined Cannonball Adderley and his quintet to make this beautiful record. She sounds in complete command. Four of the tracks on this CD are instrumental, and they're good post-bop numbers -- featuring Louis Hayes on drums, Sam Jones on bass, Joe Zawinul on piano and Cannonball's brother, Nat, on trumpet. But the group is at its best working behind Wilson, accentuating her impeccable voice.

6. Duke Ellington, Max Roach and Charles Mingus
Money Jungle
If you think of Duke Ellington as an even-tempered artist, then listen to Money Jungle, which he recorded in 1962 with Max Roach and Charles Mingus, and reconsider. This is an odd record, but its no exaggeration to say that it is one of the greatest piano trio recordings ever made. And if you're looking for an album which showcases Ellington's abilities as a pianist, this is the one to check out.

5. John Coltrane Quartet
Crescent
In 1964, John Coltrane recorded A Love Supreme -- his most exalted album -- to express his admiration for God. It deserves every bit of the attention it gets. But Crescent, made earlier that very year, with the same unflappable quartet of McCoy Tyner on piano, Elvin Jones on drums and Jimmy Garrison on bass, may be the saxophonist's deepest and most affecting CD.

4. Count Basie
Count Basie Live at the Sands
No jazz list is complete without a big band, and Count Basie's New Testament band of the 1950s and '60s is one of the form's most dynamic and hard-swinging exponents. This album, a live take of one of Basie's popular Las Vegas shows, opening for Frank Sinatra, serves up a satisfying blend of classic Frank Foster charts, clever re-workings of pop tunes like Ray Charles's "I Can't Stop Loving You" and in-the-pocket solos from star sidemen such as trombonist Al Grey and trumpeter Harry "Sweets" Edison.

3. Julius Hemphill
Dogon A.D.
On Dogon A.D. -- one of the finest examples of loft jazz out there, from 1972 -- you'll hear complex funk, repeated melodic patterns and spare instrumentation. Like Ornette Coleman, Julius Hemphill, who founded the World Saxophone Quartet, was born in Fort Worth, Texas, in the 1930s, and he never abandoned his attachment to the blues, even at his most experimental. In 2011 this record was reissued in limited supply by the International Phonograph Inc. label after years of being out of print.

2. Maceo Parker
Life on Planet Groove
This unfathomably funky set of music comes from the horn section that helped make James Brown famous: Maceo Parker, Pee Wee Ellis, and Fred Wesley. This live recording captures a brilliant highlight of their post-Brown careers, featuring adventurous improvisation alongside passionate showmanship. Parker described the music as "two percent jazz, 98 percent funky stuff," and he and his bandmates cooked up a potent mix of creative blowing and unstoppable groove.

1. Claudia Quintet
Royal Toast
There have been dozens of great jazz releases cut during the past few years that could make up a worthy list of must-hear musical titles, but this one from The Claudia Quintet stands out in particular. Drummer and composer John Hollenbeck's mesmerizing loops and the group's constant polyrhythmic interplay offer a compelling example of what 21st century jazz can sound like: both maddeningly complex and irresistibly hard-grooving, performed by dexterous improvisers who inject something new into every take.

zzzzzzzzz

regret selling my original copy of dogon a.d. that's all i have to add.

the ppl voted for another Lapin listicle and they give us this mere competence?

ha.

Is the 'Jazz at Massey Hall' rec "infinitely more obscure"? there's a whole book abt it!

Only one copy was ever pressed, and it lies at the bottom of the ocean. Only plankton have heard it.

Live At R'lyeh Town Hall

But every one of those plankton formed a band.

irl lol

did the public actually shame a newspaper into competence? sorry about the high school kid, here's something that is almost worth reading!

I know. I would now like to take back my Sesame Street counting to twenty post.

That list is slightly, slightly more interesting and the writing isn't as headsmackingly awful, but why does the Voice need to do this at all? Why does the Voice have to be shitty Time Out? This isn't some new Ugandan underground dance genre, it's fucking Jazz. How about "Ten NYC landmarks you need to see before you die: 10. Central Park; 9. Empire State Building..."

Top 10 hot dog vendors you may have missed...

Top 10 hot dog vendors you may have missed...

You know what I fucking miss? The awesome taco truck that used to be around the corner from my office. I ate at fucking Chipotle yesterday and I think they poisoned me...I had the chills and the sweats all night. Oh, well.

I'll never forget the first time I had Chipotle. I was on my way to my grandparents for dinner. It was only a five minute ride, but I stayed in the driveway for twenty minutes to finish the entire burrito.

They say Thelonious would put the medium and hot salsas together on one Chipotle to simulate the imaginary medium-hot salsa between these two salsas that exist in western cuisine

He sat down on the Chipotle.

monk was the godfather of sriracha.

The first time I ate Korean Tacos, I thought it was a joke. In fact, I was kind of pissed. Where was the cheddar cheese? Where was the pico de gallo? Well, it's so shocking the first time you eat it that it forces you to question what food can be.

they say the spice intervals at Guy Fieri's Paris restaurant, The Rite of Spring Rolls, caused the first patrons to riot

THIS is my kinda listicle. even though i have to click through 14 friggin' pages. i only really read musicians talking about music these days.

http://thequietus.com/articles/10654-michael-gira-swans-bakers-dozen-favourite-albums?page=1

*diet

xp

Missing u, thread on top five jazz topic of last week.

I've been reading about Korean tacos. Joke or not, Hurting has convinced me that these will change my life.

oh man bulkogi tacos are an amazing thing

Laura Barton in fine form at the Guardian http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2012/nov/15/power-of-love-magical-hit

"It was, Lewis explained, "a curious thing" capable of making "one man weep" and "another man sing"."

hurtingchief
Wow, thank you for the great introduction to this music called "Jazz." Miles Davis, huh, I will have to check that guy out. Glad the Voice is still around to shine a light on the hidden corners of the music world.

― super perv powder (Phil D.), Tuesday, November 13, 2012 3:59 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark

lol

i clicked that vanilla fudge video up there and one of the side links is a 9 minute version of season of the witch

Lewis, Rush and Frankie Goes to Hollywood are not the only artists to have attempted to distill the power of love in song

Laura Barton really is the worst. I want to smash something whenever I read her. She has that prissy smugness you get in a lot of student journalism. A nitwit naively laying out one cliche after another.

And then sentences like this: "It's pretty enough, of course, but there is something a little bleached, a little bloodless about Alpin's version".

What function does "of course" have? "There is something"? "A little"? Why bother saying it's both "bleached" AND "bloodless", mixing up the metaphors? The words are so vague here as to be synonymous.

"It's pretty but bloodless." There, that's better.

It's pretty but bloodless, almost as though she had reneged on her promise to keep the vampires from the door

so many commas

I'll fuckin throw your listicle up on the dresser, just ya listicle, and bang that shit with a spiked bat. BLAOW!

I'd sew that sentence up with a period, and just keep feeding it, clause after clause, comma after comma.

http://noisey.vice.com/blog/rip-dave-brubeck

As our music media continues to focus on Taylor Swift's hotel room sleepovers and Shakira's $100 million dollar lawsuit, a major, mind-numbingly influential figure has passed in our midst.

Dave Brubeck, one America's greatest cultural treasures—the man who got late-50s America dancing in 5/4 time with Paul Desmond's seminal track "Take Five"—died today of heart failure, a single day ahead of his 92nd birthday.

Maybe you haven't heard of Dave Brubeck, and unless you sat through hours of jazz appreciation class in high school, we can't really blame you. Pop music fans have a nasty habit of writing jazz off completely, mostly because it's such a dauntingly rich and nuanced genre. But until you've sunk your teeth into the untouchable discography of the Dave Brubeck Quartet, you probably should take a pass on illegally downloading the next Purity Ring single--no offense Corin and Megan!

More than almost anyone else, Brubeck redefined the role of the jazz musician, and walked through the walls hemming in standard conceptions of genre as if they weren't even there. He was a classically trained pianist who brought his talent to jazz, and almost single handedly proved that jazz was an idiom that deserves a place among the highest forms of art.

What blows my mind about Brubeck has always been "Take Five." It's a melody that's existed in my brain since before I can remember, like the Mario theme or the Crossfire commercial. What's so spectacular about the piece is that it's in 5/4, a time signature which almost no pop music even begins to touch (besides Sunny Day Real Estate). The reason no one touches it is because it's just not catchy. With "Take Five," Brubeck and Desmond managed to create a melody everyone knows, in a time signature no one understands. It's more than just an achievement, it's a challenge to take your audience more seriously. Even if Brubeck's catalog had begun and ended with "Take Five," his impact on the music world would still resonate well beyond that of many of his contemporaries (and successors) combined. Magic.

RIP, Dave.

almost single handedly proved that jazz was an idiom that deserves a place among the highest forms of art

oof

Irrelevant and stupid comparison to *today's vapid pop music* -- check
Assumption that your audience has never heard of one of the top-selling jazz artists of all time -- check
Repetition of the canard that Brubeck is a genius because he wrote a song in 5/4, which is like the quantum physics of music or something -- check
Misplaced credit to white guy for elevating jazz to "place among highest forms of art" after it had already been there for decades -- check
"Classically Trained" -- check (seriously do people really think that black jazz pianists are all self-taught blues savants and never went through the Hanon book and Well Tempered Klavier and Chopin etudes like everyone else?

eesh that is stupid.
the 5/4 thing is such a weird thing. it's a catchy song, no one cares about the time signature. also, i mean, it was his signature song, but he didn't even write it!

but it's a time signature no one understands!

understanding 5/4 is definitely a mission impossible

uh people totally care about the time signature in "Take Five." it's called "TAKE FIVE," THAT'S WHAT IT'S FAMOUS FOR