Shakey Mo's thread of misery

one thing you may discover is a newfound appreciation for new age mellow drone stuff. I sure did. the benefits of listening to something that just takes you away into some place of calm and relaxation...shit, man. My young punk self sneered at that shit. Eat a trillion dicks young punk self, relaxation music is the business. Especially when it gives you your favorite album title of all time

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51XzhN8cZGL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

LOL

It's like the "I'm kind of a big deal" of relaxation albums

maybe thelonious could come over and play a note so high, the note and your tinnitus will simulate a note in between the two notes that is outside of the audible range. But as a dude with narrow, infection prone ear canals (gross, I know) I feel for you and wish you well

lol aero yeah I have totally developed a newfound appreciation for soothing sounds of mellow keyboards with maybe a little flute

get acquainted with this podcast. It takes up like 1/4 of my hard drive now

http://www.ultimathule.info/

wishing you soothing peace, dude

http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/is-there-a-treatment-for-tinnitus/

some useful info mixed into to the typical-for-SBM self-righteous complaints about quackery

Hang in there, dude!

sleep patterns still fucked up - more med-switching tomorrow (hopefully)

going back to the ENT on Tuesday, talk about getting an MRI. that the tinnitus has been accompanied by a physical change in my ear (which has not gone away) makes me think something's been missed, that this isn't just standard hearing damage sort of stuff. I've had weird sinus problems for years, sort of feel like this is related. I dunno. still struggling through each day - hopefully some anti-anxiety+sleep meds will make this a little easier for me to deal with. keep trying to remind myself that this will not kill me, that there will come a time when I will be better, when I will enjoy things again. but it's fucking hard.

this sounds awful, i hope you can get some rest and resolution soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcJ-o_fh1B4&feature=channel&list=UL

god I am like an old man with my fuckin meds now. took 2 ativan and an ambien last night and had the weirdest night's sleep ever - I felt like I was dreaming, but also awake, somehow...? like at any moment I could have opened my eyes and looked at the clock but instead I was making myself lie there with my mind wandering and my eyes closed. so strange. but felt a little more balanced this morning, the tinnitus slightly more ignorable than before. and then I get to try some different meds tonight *sigh*

:/

shakey if you are open to lols about how the meds make you feel may I recommend the comic "ambien walrus"

had my second visit with the ENT today. He does not see anything unusual with me physically that would explain the tinnitus (no infections, no polyps, etc.) And my hearing is fine so it’s not associated with hearing damage from noise exposure or anything like that. He has requested an MRI, which they will call me to schedule within the next day or two, so hopefully I can get that within a week or so. The MRI will show if there is any deep sinus infections or tumors or nerve issues. The prospect of this just being something that happened to me with nothing I can do about it is intensely depressing. I know that with time it’s supposed to be possible to adjust and be able to ignore it but so far I am not able to do this, it is a challenge even to sleep. I have to wear headphones all the time just to distract me from it.

The prospect of this just being something that happened to me with nothing I can do about it is intensely depressing. I know that with time it’s supposed to be possible to adjust and be able to ignore it but so far I am not able to do this, it is a challenge even to sleep.

I have faced that kind of thing (though everyone's situation is different) and I guess the best advice I'd offer is to try to see the process of fixing yourself as a separate one to the process of living your life and getting along with things. Don't let one affect the other where possible. That is definitely easier said than done but at all times just externalise the symptoms as much as you can, not even pretending to understand how difficult that may be, btw. Talk to people and try to consider the mental side of things too.

Hope it improves. having a bit of a nightmare myself, healthwise, in the last week or two, though chronic stuff is sort of old hat for me. It's not helped by the fact I'm rehearsing non-stop to do a play all next week and the accompanying excitement/pressure/responsibility.

^^ that's extremely good advice.

The only good news about something bad happening for no apparent reason is there's no particular reason why it won't get better. I see neurological patients all the time with chronic miserable symptoms (frequent migraines, chronic pain or tingling or dizziness) where all the tests are normal and there's no evident trigger for the problem. It's still good news, even though it doesn't seem like it, not to get a specific diagnosis in these cases -- most specific diagnoses that cause chronic severe symptoms aren't fixable and produce permanent neurological damage.

If there's no hearing loss and no nerve damage, the tinnitus should eventually improve, or even resolve completely. Which is not to say, unfortunately, that you or your doctors or anyone else can make it go away. In the meantime, getting along with things as much as possible despite the problem is probably the best you can do, as maddening as it must be to be in this situation.

I feel for you, this is a really tough situation. Wish I could be more help.

thank you Plasmon. that's encouraging. my suspicion is that the MRI won't turn up anything and oddly that's what I've been dreading most. but you've given me some perspective

even though my hearing brings me like zero joy at the moment I do take some comfort from there not being any hearing loss

Pete Townshend was on Letterman last night, and they compared tinnitus experiences (Letterman suffers from it, which I didn't know). Townshend said his has gotten better over the years, mainly due to homeopathic treatments. I know you've tried that, but who knows, there could be another homeopathic route that will yield better results.

I also read somewhere that Jerry Harrison had it, and not only did it suddenly/mysteriously clear up, but his hearing actually was better than it was pre-tinnitus. So there's definitely hope. Wishing you the best!

yeah good luck. i can't imagine. there's this quietus stuff- "discovered by a rock drummer".

http://www.quietrelief.com/

if Pete Townshend has any functional use of his ears at all in 2012 there's hope for all of us

otm

if Pete Townshend has any functional use of his ears at all in 2012 there's hope for all of us

on the sleep front, if last night is any indication, for me the magic combination is ambien to put me to sleep and trazadone to keep me asleep (unfortunately I was woken up abruptly by my daughter after 5 hours or so). While I am really unhappy with the prospect of taking prescription drugs to get to sleep every night, at least these are non-physically addictive and can be taken relatively long-term if necessary. I guess I used to habitually have pot and/or booze at night that probably helped me get to sleep but those are out for now.

xp

also it means a lot to have everyone's support here. I am not posting much lately cuz it's so hard for me to focus on stuff and I feel sort of joyless in general but any words of encouragement at all really mean a lot to me. I have never felt so emotionally needy in my life and it's not something I welcome but that's just how it is.

Townshend said his has gotten better over the years, mainly due to homeopathic treatments.

uh Shakey is apparently suffering pretty severely here, no need to be a dick itt

sic, tarfumes wasn't being a dick, he was just trying to give him some encouraging anecdotes. chill.

xpost to shakey
<3

i guess there's some consolation (kind of?) in maybe finding out where the cause is if it's not hearing damage. but it still sucks that you're having to go through all this

i hope it gets easier for u, dude

As someone who has had occasional bouts with tinnitus, I would never joke about this, nor intentionally be a dick about it. I was just pointing out what worked for Townshend as a means of encouragement and possible further investigation for Shakey.

well I have a history of sinus problems and that's what I originally thought it was but the ENT was pretty thorough and didn't see anything. and I'm not congested or anything like that. the longer this goes on the more it seems just random.

xp

re: homeopathic stuff - no need to fight guys. I've tried some stuff already with no real success, and there's other things I won't really bother to try. if the MRI turns up nothing then most likely my next step is to check in at the UCSF tinnitus center. they're not on my health plan, but they have a whole clinic devoted to this so at least I might be a useful test case or something.

of course how I would pay for that is a little uhhh with new baby on the way but I'm on some one day at a time shit at the moment

Maybe they'll name a treatment after you & u will be famous

:)

tbrr the non-medical option at the top of my list would be to go see Jodorowsky in Paris for some psychomagic

xp

ok sorry, assumed anyone recommending taking str8 up water as medicine was trolling.

trying to get appt with UCSF tinnitus clinic

best of luck Shakey. This whole situation sucks and I hope you find a way to get past it soon.

it's weird the kind of music that kind of helps me ignore this, however slightly. Martin Denny, ZZ Top, things with lots of vibraphones ... white noise and gregorian chants, not so much.

anyone know any good vibraphone-heavy albums that do not have a fucking saxophone on them

what's the common factor, things with lots of harmonics/overtones?

i never listened to the Modern Jazz Quartet much, but i love Milt Jackson's solo records, especially this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeRCfV-YtBA

xp maybe check out some Modern Jazz Quartet

also this Gary Burton record:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-58mzVdK1M

things with lots of harmonics/overtones?

I'm not really sure exactly but I'm kind of thinking yeah... my tinnitus is pitched *really* fucking high (like above 11,000 Hz) so it cuts through a lot of shit.

Can't go wrong with Ray Charles/Milt Jackson records. Also, Andrew Hill's Judgment! which has Bobby Hutcherson and no horns.

Gary Burton is nice - stuff that is not too mellow or has a lot of space in it is good. space is just filled with ear-splitting irritation for me.

yeah I love Hutcherson. Jackson too but the stuff I have of his has 'Trane on it... didn't know about the Ray Charles recs

Maybe some Tortoise stuff?

sort of hated post-rock stuff when it came out, but this has upended so many things about my life already...

you never know maybe you'll discover that only late 80's smooth jazz works

(JOEKS)