Shakey Mo's thread of misery

i've never been through this but it sounds awful. sending good thoughts your way.

the audiologist will determine where your "notch" is - he'll tell you where you stand, hearing-wise. it'll be a huge benefit to you, just to know. reading can be hugely helpful if you can get your mind to focus on it! getting stoned as I've said - it could be good, but you can't really know how it'll go, and you can't really undo it if it starts to go south

ucsf audiology btw? been there, they're really good

my healthcare plan ain't THAT great - I'm going to kaiser

lol I went to UCSF because I had no insurance at all so I picked the ones who I normally go to for voice treatment

I'm only familiar with UCSF cuz of other things they are renowned for (HIV, neurology etc), never actually been there

they have amazing doctors and therapists and I will be leaving them something in my will. just an incredible place from a health care perspective.

I was just there yesterday with my son for his MRI. Great place. Good luck today!

tried some online tools but have yet to pinpoint the exact frequency of my tinnitus - altho it's clear that it's well above 11,000 kHz. dunno what to make of that really. a bunch of these online test tools are really fucking loud though, so I guess I should be thankful that my tinnitus is not totally ear-splitting. but the super-high-pitched frequency of it means it cuts through a lot of stuff.

still having trouble sleeping too. off the ativan (really not supposed to take it for that long, so not really regretting that) and taken ambien the last few nights - which knocks me the fuck out but only for 5-6 hours and gives me a weird hangover too.

have a consultation scheduled in a couple days about anti-anxiety meds, which will hopefully help me get back to some semblance of normal functioning + sleeping

just in case anyone was wondering

how did the audiologist consultation go?

he didn't have much to say. that I'm doing all the things I should be doing, that my brain will eventually acclimate itself to it but that there's no real way to know how long that will take, that masking devices/sounds will be helpful to relieve the anxiety of it etc. that I need to sleep and exercise and manage the stress.

I am trying. it feels like every day is a struggle.

altho it's clear that it's well above 11,000 kHz

at least that should make it easy to low-pass your mp3s or eq your stereo if you try that music therapy thing, just shelve a little off the top.

sorry dude, I really feel for you :(

yeah no doubt. hope you can feel some relief soon.

best wishes shakey, this sounds like a bad thing happening to a good man

I've been trying to figuer out my "notch" as well since reading that website linked above. I was sure mine is all over the place, but I focussed on it the other night and there is a dstinct "note" - an E, I think - that persists as a very very low hum, a mid-range chorusy sound, and a high pitched eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee noise. I dont know if that means theyre diff freqs but theyre all the same note? I dont know hwo this stuff works tbh. I really need to see an audiologst - the ENT just said "yeah surgery there u go" but I want hearing tests and to discuss a hearing aid and if its an option at all (urgh)

So best of luck yours is solved or you get some releief Shakey!

at least that should make it easy to low-pass your mp3s or eq your stereo if you try that music therapy thing, just shelve a little off the top.

I'm not sure it really works that way? other people have said that if you hear that frequency it cancels out the tinnitus.

I haven't tried the MP3 conversion thing tbh seems like more effort than it's probably worth.

yeah, either way seems plausible (taking out that frequency so as to not accentuate/aggravate it vs listening to that frequency for a masking effect).

one thing you may discover is a newfound appreciation for new age mellow drone stuff. I sure did. the benefits of listening to something that just takes you away into some place of calm and relaxation...shit, man. My young punk self sneered at that shit. Eat a trillion dicks young punk self, relaxation music is the business. Especially when it gives you your favorite album title of all time

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51XzhN8cZGL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

LOL

It's like the "I'm kind of a big deal" of relaxation albums

maybe thelonious could come over and play a note so high, the note and your tinnitus will simulate a note in between the two notes that is outside of the audible range. But as a dude with narrow, infection prone ear canals (gross, I know) I feel for you and wish you well

lol aero yeah I have totally developed a newfound appreciation for soothing sounds of mellow keyboards with maybe a little flute

get acquainted with this podcast. It takes up like 1/4 of my hard drive now

http://www.ultimathule.info/

wishing you soothing peace, dude

http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/is-there-a-treatment-for-tinnitus/

some useful info mixed into to the typical-for-SBM self-righteous complaints about quackery

Hang in there, dude!

sleep patterns still fucked up - more med-switching tomorrow (hopefully)

going back to the ENT on Tuesday, talk about getting an MRI. that the tinnitus has been accompanied by a physical change in my ear (which has not gone away) makes me think something's been missed, that this isn't just standard hearing damage sort of stuff. I've had weird sinus problems for years, sort of feel like this is related. I dunno. still struggling through each day - hopefully some anti-anxiety+sleep meds will make this a little easier for me to deal with. keep trying to remind myself that this will not kill me, that there will come a time when I will be better, when I will enjoy things again. but it's fucking hard.

this sounds awful, i hope you can get some rest and resolution soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcJ-o_fh1B4&feature=channel&list=UL

god I am like an old man with my fuckin meds now. took 2 ativan and an ambien last night and had the weirdest night's sleep ever - I felt like I was dreaming, but also awake, somehow...? like at any moment I could have opened my eyes and looked at the clock but instead I was making myself lie there with my mind wandering and my eyes closed. so strange. but felt a little more balanced this morning, the tinnitus slightly more ignorable than before. and then I get to try some different meds tonight *sigh*

:/

shakey if you are open to lols about how the meds make you feel may I recommend the comic "ambien walrus"

had my second visit with the ENT today. He does not see anything unusual with me physically that would explain the tinnitus (no infections, no polyps, etc.) And my hearing is fine so it’s not associated with hearing damage from noise exposure or anything like that. He has requested an MRI, which they will call me to schedule within the next day or two, so hopefully I can get that within a week or so. The MRI will show if there is any deep sinus infections or tumors or nerve issues. The prospect of this just being something that happened to me with nothing I can do about it is intensely depressing. I know that with time it’s supposed to be possible to adjust and be able to ignore it but so far I am not able to do this, it is a challenge even to sleep. I have to wear headphones all the time just to distract me from it.

The prospect of this just being something that happened to me with nothing I can do about it is intensely depressing. I know that with time it’s supposed to be possible to adjust and be able to ignore it but so far I am not able to do this, it is a challenge even to sleep.

I have faced that kind of thing (though everyone's situation is different) and I guess the best advice I'd offer is to try to see the process of fixing yourself as a separate one to the process of living your life and getting along with things. Don't let one affect the other where possible. That is definitely easier said than done but at all times just externalise the symptoms as much as you can, not even pretending to understand how difficult that may be, btw. Talk to people and try to consider the mental side of things too.

Hope it improves. having a bit of a nightmare myself, healthwise, in the last week or two, though chronic stuff is sort of old hat for me. It's not helped by the fact I'm rehearsing non-stop to do a play all next week and the accompanying excitement/pressure/responsibility.

^^ that's extremely good advice.

The only good news about something bad happening for no apparent reason is there's no particular reason why it won't get better. I see neurological patients all the time with chronic miserable symptoms (frequent migraines, chronic pain or tingling or dizziness) where all the tests are normal and there's no evident trigger for the problem. It's still good news, even though it doesn't seem like it, not to get a specific diagnosis in these cases -- most specific diagnoses that cause chronic severe symptoms aren't fixable and produce permanent neurological damage.

If there's no hearing loss and no nerve damage, the tinnitus should eventually improve, or even resolve completely. Which is not to say, unfortunately, that you or your doctors or anyone else can make it go away. In the meantime, getting along with things as much as possible despite the problem is probably the best you can do, as maddening as it must be to be in this situation.

I feel for you, this is a really tough situation. Wish I could be more help.

thank you Plasmon. that's encouraging. my suspicion is that the MRI won't turn up anything and oddly that's what I've been dreading most. but you've given me some perspective

even though my hearing brings me like zero joy at the moment I do take some comfort from there not being any hearing loss

Pete Townshend was on Letterman last night, and they compared tinnitus experiences (Letterman suffers from it, which I didn't know). Townshend said his has gotten better over the years, mainly due to homeopathic treatments. I know you've tried that, but who knows, there could be another homeopathic route that will yield better results.

I also read somewhere that Jerry Harrison had it, and not only did it suddenly/mysteriously clear up, but his hearing actually was better than it was pre-tinnitus. So there's definitely hope. Wishing you the best!

yeah good luck. i can't imagine. there's this quietus stuff- "discovered by a rock drummer".

http://www.quietrelief.com/

if Pete Townshend has any functional use of his ears at all in 2012 there's hope for all of us

otm

if Pete Townshend has any functional use of his ears at all in 2012 there's hope for all of us

on the sleep front, if last night is any indication, for me the magic combination is ambien to put me to sleep and trazadone to keep me asleep (unfortunately I was woken up abruptly by my daughter after 5 hours or so). While I am really unhappy with the prospect of taking prescription drugs to get to sleep every night, at least these are non-physically addictive and can be taken relatively long-term if necessary. I guess I used to habitually have pot and/or booze at night that probably helped me get to sleep but those are out for now.

xp

also it means a lot to have everyone's support here. I am not posting much lately cuz it's so hard for me to focus on stuff and I feel sort of joyless in general but any words of encouragement at all really mean a lot to me. I have never felt so emotionally needy in my life and it's not something I welcome but that's just how it is.

Townshend said his has gotten better over the years, mainly due to homeopathic treatments.

uh Shakey is apparently suffering pretty severely here, no need to be a dick itt

sic, tarfumes wasn't being a dick, he was just trying to give him some encouraging anecdotes. chill.

xpost to shakey
<3

i guess there's some consolation (kind of?) in maybe finding out where the cause is if it's not hearing damage. but it still sucks that you're having to go through all this

i hope it gets easier for u, dude

As someone who has had occasional bouts with tinnitus, I would never joke about this, nor intentionally be a dick about it. I was just pointing out what worked for Townshend as a means of encouragement and possible further investigation for Shakey.

well I have a history of sinus problems and that's what I originally thought it was but the ENT was pretty thorough and didn't see anything. and I'm not congested or anything like that. the longer this goes on the more it seems just random.

xp

re: homeopathic stuff - no need to fight guys. I've tried some stuff already with no real success, and there's other things I won't really bother to try. if the MRI turns up nothing then most likely my next step is to check in at the UCSF tinnitus center. they're not on my health plan, but they have a whole clinic devoted to this so at least I might be a useful test case or something.

of course how I would pay for that is a little uhhh with new baby on the way but I'm on some one day at a time shit at the moment