Footcelsior

realize maybe the outright lolz aren't there but I'm just happy to get the joek

Just been sat on the train heading out from town towards Aston, crowded with villa fans, not a level head amongst them. We're either about to bosh bcfc 8-0 because we're villa and in the ep league and just because. Or alternatively we're about to get turned over 2-0 on our own patch and Lamborghini should be strung up from the nearest tree/lamppost. Can't anyone just be cautiously optimistic about this ffs? A degree of confidence is fine so long as you remain suitably wary

― Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 22 January 2013 19:14 (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Also lamborghini = phone autocorrecting lambo. Defs need a few more wins under his belt before I start bestowing him with cool monikers

― Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 22 January 2013 19:15 (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

spain make me feel like a sceptical boondocks sheriff looking at two moonshone alien abductees- if all this probing is really going on, then why is there no attack?

― Ну, там твое место, там сабе будь! (darraghmac),

ye must have missed me something fierce during the tourney itself

Wilshere limping off, Diaby limping on

― Ismael Klata

^ peach

yeah can't believe neville would absolve epl establishment samba or real british realness queen clinty hill in order to trash some effete foreign fucks nobody cares about

― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Monday, February 25, 2013 10:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

real british realness queen clinty hill

― c'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas le beurre (imago), Monday, February 25, 2013 11:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/NbCeoUd.gif

― r|t|c, Monday, February 25, 2013 11:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ba is p fuckin good, good epl standard anyway

― at-zing-two-boards (darraghmac), Thursday, October 6, 2011 3:12 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a 'ticking time bomb' acc to Pulis iirc

― boxall, Thursday, October 6, 2011 3:17 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pulis feels that way about all strikers, hence standing orders for his midfielders to deliver the ball from a safe distance of min. 40 yards

― at-zing-two-boards (darraghmac), Thursday, October 6, 2011 3:23 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you footcelsiored yourself 16 months on? admirable chutzpah, bravo.

this post often comes to mind:

Graz_Entertainment - hyperenthusiastic and tbh slightly creepy mitteleuropean poster debuts with a splash next week through his 'Never Mind The Red Bullocks - Weiner Neustadt won't win the Austrian Bundesliga 2011/12'. Not one to admit defeat, he notches up 847 unanswered posts through to the end of November before pandemic takes pity on him and streams Mattersburg v Wacker Innsbruck late one Tuesday. To pandemic's surprise, the quality is astonishing, Wacker's Luka's Hinterseer sealing a 3-2 win late on via a backheel rabona from his own half.

It turns out Austria's international performance over the past two decades has been a smokescreen to protect the tactical leaps and innovations in technique hothoused domestically for the highest stakes before rabid crowds. Word gets around, sonderangerbot even going so far as to attend February's Vienna derby, won when Stefan Kulowitz ears in a swerving screamer from outside the box in injury time.

By March the entirety of ILX's football chat has migrated to the thread, now including dozens of regular ilxors who previously wouldn't've touched football with a bargepole - even some girls. The season culminates in the inaugural ILF awayday to Salzburg, where against the odds Weiner Neustadt do clinch the title amid incredible scenes. At least two posters never return, setting up home there so as to never miss a kick again.

Alas, all does not end happily for Graz_Entertainment - on top of the humiliation of Weiner winning the league after all, Sturm turn out to be merely the tenth most brilliant team in Austria and are relegated. He relocates to spam politics and conspiracy theory threads instead, before fatal indecision sees him selected as mod in dubious circumstances. He uses his new powers to takeover De Subjectivisten and several other, weaker boards, and is only repulsed from ILM itself in an epic struggle. Thereafter restricted to the 'Ask Graz_Entertainment' thread, he eventually self-permabans in pathetic circumstances. Some wag attempts a Downfall youtube, but it's hardly worth it.

― Ismael Klata, Tuesday, September 20, 2011 6:52 PM (1 year ago)

I have signalled intent upthread to bulk this thread up, so quiet weekends i scour the archives. Seeing as i doubt anyone else is doing likewise it seems fair not to omit my own stuff tbh

Full disclosure: in a sulk at Stoke's equaliser, I went to get a brew on while Lowton was spanking that in, and on my return thought his celebration was him running to square up to a Stoke player

― crazed lerner fan (Sgt. Biscuits), Saturday, April 6, 2013 3:55 PM (1 hour ago)

had a little chuckle at this earlier, not least because I suspect it to be entirely true

Its always a treat to see this thread on the front page. Under-utilised imo.

Certainly see the potential for disgracing yourself when footcelsioring (ouch) your own material, but I think dmac knew he was playing it safe with that'n upthread

true, he'd have looked silly if he'd missed the target, but he pulled it off with that one.

He could try that again a hundred times geoff tell you what

it's rare that I'm in awe of an ILX post, but

twins

You're above this place, we get it.

?

Was detecting a certain 'most of your work is poor but I, imago, have identified one which meets my standards', but tbh it was too late and I may have been hacked off over an evening of other stuff. Apologies if I'm misreading.

really adding value to footcelsior there

you were def projecting

just saying that one rarely derives awe from any internet messageboard, no qualm intended

Fair point, sorry bro.

idgi tho

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimitris_Salpingidis

I thought it was genius even before I saw the salpingidis/gitis connection tbh.

I like being reminded Owen Hargreaves exists.

I'm pretty sure he owns an English theme pub in Calgary with my cousin. My mother got a phone call from my uncle at midnight a few years ago asking if she had a recipe for mushy peas she could pass on to them.

― Inte Regina Lund eller nån, mitt namn är (ShariVari), Saturday, 17 August 2013 11:46 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Eh?! That's the most implausible thing posted here since darragh's last game of fives.

― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 17 August 2013 11:47 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wtf hey

Francisco Román Alarcón Suárez (born 21 April 1992), commonly known as Isco (Spanish pronunciation: [ˈisko]), is a Spanish professional footballer who plays for Real Madrid mainly as an attacking midfielder. He wears the number 23 shirt as a tribute to his hero Shola Ameobi

― ineloquentwow (Craigo Boingo), 1. syyskuuta 2013 13:56 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

What's the "unusual" part in this one?

― Tuomas, 04 September 2013 06:23 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Transfer window Poll # 1: Bale vs Aspas

^^^a single perfect crystal of its era

yeah

this is my first time ever posting to ILF and i dunno where to put this so i'll put it here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gwwqtty6jyY

and that, son, is why we don't scissor kick it out of our own area

Fuck I have to get a train to Sunderland tomorrow and everything.

― Matt DC, Sunday, 22 September 2013 22:44 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I mean this is genuinely the stupidest managerial appointment in Premiership history and that's not even defending O'Neill.

― Matt DC, Sunday, 22 September 2013 22:47 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You're the new Sunderland boss???

― Hamburglar's smiling too (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 22 September 2013 22:48 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Joining an august club like Liverpool was not compatible with his rebellious side

― nakhchivan, Friday, October 25, 2013 6:40 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

august til mid november club morelike

― drugs/lies: poll (darraghmac), Friday, October 25, 2013 6:42 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Spurs

Moyes - I'll take any kind of win

Would like if this was made into a musical number.

― Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Sunday, 27 October 2013 10:40 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this keeps giving :D

Gerrard with a beautiful 80 yard great owlet moth plum onto the big man's forehead.

― Merdeyeux, Saturday, 7 December 2013 11:00 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this was underappreciated on ILE I thought:

R.I.P. Television Without Pity

http://io9.com/its-hard-to-imagine-the-internet-without-television-wi-1553131720

I don't understand how the web works as a business, but I can't see how no one else would be interested in buying TWP after NBCU decided to put it on the market. Daily Candy, sure, wgaf...but TWP is a treasure.

― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 27 March 2014 21:59 (Yesterday) Permalink

Chelsea were interested at one point.

― pandemic, Thursday, 27 March 2014 22:03 (Yesterday) Permalink

lol

sick of this corrupt fifa system, mythic oil does not produce those results

― r|t|c, Wednesday, July 9, 2014 1:15 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he messed up the chance to make it 8-0, certainly

― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, July 9, 2014 1:17 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

haa

rtc and ogmor with two of the best footcelsiors of recent weeks in the space of 10 posts on the same thread; completely unrelated

"and can slot in at right-back if required" - close season transfer banter 2014

ironically enough shitty russian android® actually looks just like rob green at corners

oh right u meant the fulham zing, yeah that was a goodun

lol u don't say

true enough about mollycoddling, idk tribal self-mythologising nonsense probably but i've long felt there to be an interesting frisson whenever a top bloke geezer comes under the fannying aegis of the kewpie platonic poodle kennel. and now austin is becoming a hybrid fancyman

plus look no further than former petty thug karl henry now a responsible asthmatic piano playing chessmaster with a penchant for orlebar brown swimwear

thought occurred during wolves birmingham and reminiscing about blues ledges of the mid 90s who i could never tell apart but were thoroughly of the grim piece - grainger, devlin, tait, legg... all unthinkable in a hoops shirt

like hill and derry are the types who anywhere else would do their two year bid or month's loan and become a footnote, here as ott realness darlings we clasped them to our bosom for 5 years until their ears fell off and button eyes came unsewn

― r|t|c, Monday, November 3, 2014 9:35 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

love it when rtc stirs to full kewpie excoriation

i wouldnt care to speculate on whose style it's most redolent of but fwiw the op photo brings to mind a pair of roman centurions expelling a market scrote that has interrupted the crucifixtion

― r|t|c, Wednesday, 28 August 2013 00:15 (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Theyve stopped him getting to the cross

― "Asshole Lost in Coughdrop": THAT'S a story (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 00:19 (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hell have been happy with that when he sees it this morning

Is Jack Colback the least glamorous footballer in the Premier League?

going thru the motions here a bit but

Fellini starts up front, Martial on the bench.

― I wear my Redditor loathing with pride (ShariVari), Saturday, September 12, 2015 3:58 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Fellaini

― I wear my Redditor loathing with pride (ShariVari), Saturday, September 12, 2015 3:59 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more of an 8½ than an orthodox #9

― Number None, Saturday, September 12, 2015 4:04 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink