Golf - classic or dud

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Commentary during a lull in yesterday's final round (which, contrary to most, I found infinitely less entertainng than when the leaders were shedding shots like confetti in Saturday's gale in front of no spectators whatsoever):

Allis: A mention to Mrs [x] who's just about recovered now from the shock of the burglary. I hope they catch the culprits soon.
Hay: Terrible. [Proceeds to say something about appropriate capital punishment to apply when they are caught]
Allis: Ooh no, surely a bit of flogging first. So the punishment lasts longer.
Hay: Oh yes, of course.

Jeff W, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...
Lehman Vaginal Overload, "Pin High (Parnevik's Panda Remix)"

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: the american dudes are like "hi sam, you've got a tan"
z3mk0: "yes well done beverley you were right"
thegardencentre: american commentators are like that for every sport though
thegardencentre: in fact ther news too
Ronan909: yeah zemko, and everytime someone wins and the wife comes on camera he goes
"now you can have that new kitchen love"
thegardencentre: "and a difficult genocide in central africa pete"
z3mk0: haha
*************: that's pretty OTM
Ronan909: he's said it at least three times
thegardencentre: "yes, a tricky situation for the malawians lesley"
*************: "that's right bob"
Ronan909: seve ballesteros was a great commentator
Ronan909: when he did it
Ronan909: is he on again this time
z3mk0: yesterday they werre discussing wind pattertsn and one said "he's talkign out his isobarse"
Ronan909: haha
cozenyo: haha
z3mk0: i was shocked!
thegardencentre: "1500 a day dead dave, the strike rate is rising"
Ronan909: it is so great, the best hangover tv ever
cozenyo: PARTAY tv
Ronan909: "war in iraq, wrap up warm folks"
thegardencentre: COMEDOWN TV
thegardencentre: HANGOVER TV
thegardencentre: PARTAAAAY TV
Ronan909: payne stewart
Ronan909: i miss him
thegardencentre: yea:-(
*************: "too bad about the fire that killed 15, ted"
z3mk0: bring the payne
Ronan909: haha
thegardencentre: too bad i fucked your wife pacey
Ronan909: FORE!
*************: :-)

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: people should shout fore at raves
Ronan909: and wear golf clothes
*************: hahaha
cozenyo: you don;t?
*************: walk around with golf clubs
Ronan909: i do now
z3mk0: glow clubs
*************: and tee off
thegardencentre: peopel should weaer plus fours at raves
Ronan909: tee up on stage
Ronan909: plus 4s as in
Ronan909: turn up the pitch
thegardencentre: haha, i notice ed is being markedly silent!!!;-)
cozenyo: ian woosnam's so weird
Ronan909: you wave them at the dj
z3mk0: the big raver pants are already in effect!
z3mk0: kinda
*************: you use the clubs to adjust the lighting
Ronan909: people do wear golf visers
Ronan909: already
z3mk0: when i go raving i take a caddy
thegardencentre: there is a photo of me in a gold visor winging its way towards ilx
Ronan909: i have visions of homelands with 10000 people all in cheque trousers and sleeveless pringle sweaters
z3mk0: in a little buggy
thegardencentre: i need a new caddy
thegardencentre: my last one got uppity
z3mk0: and he hands me diff drugs and water and stuff
*************: david thomas from pere ubu/rftt uses his cane as a weapon... it's a little frightening
Ronan909: "i reckon you need to take the white mitsubishi this time zemko"
Ronan909: "the next hour could be tricky, have a pint"
thegardencentre: hah, this is a challenging rotterdam track, caddy hand me another half wrap of whizz, the bpm is realy high on this one
z3mk0: and waits patiently in the revving car while i dance in fornt of him
Ronan909: i fired my caddy after i passed out one time
Ronan909: he gave me a 7 iron when i needed some vodka
Ronan909: "a challenging rotterdam track"
*************: i'm going to open a club called "caddyshack"
thegardencentre: caddyshack is the best film ever!"
thegardencentre: apart from caddyshack 2

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Tiger Woods should drink farm cider.

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 14:01 (sixteen years ago) link

i'm not sure if i want to know whether ILx chat transcripts are real or not. ah, mystery.

i hit golf balls this week. i have more natural ability at it than most other things that involve hitting balls. fun. and v. satisfying when you actually get it up in the air and far away. though i usually don't get quite as much distance as others. dunno if that's a strength thing or a technique thing (or the stella i had?). not too much exercise if you're just driving, though.

(we never heard of Africa in America, btw. TS: chatty, bubbleheaded non-news v. snide content.)

gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

doesn't Tolkien say that one of Bilbo Baggins's ancestors was the inventor of golf?

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

dud for land and water-use issues alone. have any of you been to Arizona? it's fucking horrifying.

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:09 (sixteen years ago) link

as an AZ resident I can attest to that and then some

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:20 (sixteen years ago) link

ten months pass...

I've started playing again recently too and my handicaps gone down from a 14 to about an 11/10 - played ardeer and carded an 84 (an unecessary 7 [!!!], and three unecessary 6s) but shoulda been a 79. that is playing to handicap I guess (it was 14) but I reckon markers would have given me the 7 and 6s as 5s (taking into account the rest of my card.)

I love golf.

soft hands!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

talk about golf.

do you like it? do you play? are you watching wentworth? will you play golf with me?

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd love to play some golf! But I need to work on my 1) putting 2) short game and 3) long game. And by "work on" I mean "gain even minimal competency."

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

I used to, I wasn't very good though. I will play when I'm older again. I like to watch golf obviously, and clearly I am a fan of it. I own 2 golf sweaters.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

I need to work on my golf sweaters!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 16:06 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...
having just vanquished my slice i must say super classic. as for it not being "strenuous" i sort of disagree.

ryan (ryan), Sunday, 26 June 2005 03:38 (fourteen years ago) link

so fkn classic

let's play golf

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:54 (fourteen years ago) link

I would gladly play golf with all of you. I'm not very good. I had lessons when I was about 13.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:59 (fourteen years ago) link

I've been really really wanting to play recently. I have to make do with Hot Shots on the PS2. An ILX golf thing would be great. Ronan can come.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

I would love to play golf with ronan.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

on E.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

rex the dog can caddy.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

just wait for the vitalic remix.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Golf FAP. It can only end in hideous disaster.


Ally C (Ally C), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:06 (fourteen years ago) link

I hit the ball like I'm skipping stones. Still, the guy I used to go to the range with would bring a box of Franzia with him, so Classic.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Your search - hipster golfing - did not match any documents.

- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
- Try fewer keywords.

Gear! (Ill Cajun Gunsmith) (Gear!), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:07 (fourteen years ago) link

you can get mizuno t-zoid irons at around £100 on ebay nowadays!

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:09 (fourteen years ago) link

[xpost to Gear!]


gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I broke 80, once, a couple of years ago. Now I'm down to playing once a year.

9-hole courses: dud.
18-hole courses where one of the hole designs is repeated a half-dozen times: dud.
Lots of changes in elevation: classic.

Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link

can someone here, once and for all, explain what a "links" course is and how it differs from other courses, without resorting to mysticism?

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:55 (fourteen years ago) link

Golf is classic so long as you're playing well...

gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:58 (fourteen years ago) link

haha. ok uh as I understand it tracer - it's traditionally courses by the sea but that's not the definition. I think the definition lies in the type of soil that the grass lies in: it's a mix of sand and earth, which gives it a very hard, dry consistency (hard to divot, balls 'fly' off the face more) (y'know cs if you take a bigger divot you get more spin and more scoop and balls fly softer and higher and with more backspin.) they are monumentally hard to play because you have less control over the ball (less backspin, see above) and they are all moundy and bumpy, the ones I've played. I come from 'links country', just off troon, in scotland.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 23:00 (fourteen years ago) link

gygax otm

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link

yay! gygax thank you for the link but i very specifically asked for "someone here"

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 27 June 2005 23:01 (fourteen years ago) link

links courses are classic obv cause they make the best of the bad bunch: the soil by the sea is preternaturally so bad and so unwieldy for golfer but it's such a nice area to play golf in, golfers just make do. they are really windy too.

I think "links" golf has something to do with those weird golf course where the 18th green is also the 1st green, the 2nd also the 17th &c. (like uh st andrew's?) hence the name "links", but I'm not entirely sure.

where does the name "links" come from?

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 23:05 (fourteen years ago) link

I played Lake Shastina a few years ago and the nines were sort of separated half-woodland and half-links. It's right next to Mt. Shasta so there was a steady 25-mph wind coming down off the mountain that made the back nine some of the funnest, toughest golf I've ever played.

Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 27 June 2005 23:15 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...
I wish I was golfing today.

Felix Leiter (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 13 July 2005 17:28 (fourteen years ago) link

i play occasionally. of course, i don't belong or fit in, but it's fun. i've gotten pretty good.

ai lien (kold_krush), Wednesday, 13 July 2005 17:31 (fourteen years ago) link

yeah ILX golf would be good, plus a round at what golfer's affectionately call "the 19th hole", (a public refreshment facility)

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:01 (fourteen years ago) link

They have crazy golf in Maidenhead.

Peter Stringbender (PJ Miller), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:05 (fourteen years ago) link

crazy golf is where it's at.

g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 14 July 2005 11:54 (fourteen years ago) link

I've been reading The Wicked Game by Howard Sounes. It's a really good book. Sounes traces the careers of Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Tiger Woods, and it's neat to see how the lines intersect. (I just reached the part where Nicklaus wins the 1986 Masters, and a ten-year old Tiger Woods pins the Golden Bear's records clippings to his bedroom wall.)

No punches are spared for the PGA's awful racist history, and yet, I still want to play at Augusta. And I don't even golf!

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:17 (fourteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...
I don't really have a problem w/ golf

the "culture" surrounding it can seem quite exclusive and overdefined in a boring and elitist way but I don't assume all golfers/people who play golf fall into that trap but, since it is the way, they probably always have to compromise to it, a little, which is offputting

I don't mind watching it on the telly but wouldn't choose to, really. I have been to a tournament or so and the day was OK but not for the golf, so much. like any sport I don't really like to watch (a lot of which I (would probably) quite enjoy playing, for fun), I might watch the final day or so, if there's nothing else to do/friends are watching it

my problem is talking about golf

I cannot stand people talking about golf

not talking about a tournament, if it's on, but, I'm sure, I wouldn't be interested in that either

people talking about their own games, especially to people who haven't invited it or expressed any interest

and loudly

one of the most boring things

(he (the person that prompted this) also talks about money and, probably, cars (another two of the most boring things))

(I used to play golf, btw, and was a member at my local club (years ago))

(crazy golf and pitch & putt are, of course, classic)

RJG (RJG), Monday, 10 July 2006 07:37 (thirteen years ago) link

(he is also sexist (jokingly, he probably thinks) and pretty stupid)

RJG (RJG), Monday, 10 July 2006 07:44 (thirteen years ago) link

Gracia-Woods might be a great match later today..

xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 23 July 2006 09:57 (twelve years ago) link

Garcia, I meant.

xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 23 July 2006 10:02 (twelve years ago) link

Garcia hasn't got his game round the greens up to shape and Woods is remote controlling the ball. The nearest challeneger is Els but he has just dropped a shot.

oh the inevitability of it all!

xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 23 July 2006 14:12 (twelve years ago) link

The ABC guys are bringing up a good point about accuracy being more important than distance, at least in this tournament, and that Tiger should consider keeping the 1-iron in his bag. I kind of don't like the Vijay Singh school of thought that driving accuracy is not so important, and that the deep rough is not so much a hazard if you only have a wedge to the green. That didn't even get him to the weekend this time.

Whitman Mayonnaise (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 23 July 2006 16:20 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah the diff between the open and the US majors is distance, the wind can play more of a role (not enough this w/end tho') and maybe more bunkers over here so accuracy is even more important.

Woods' playing ws brually clinical and as much as I wanted to see a close finish it didn't matter in the end. DiMarco played v well, great put for par (on the 15th, i think) to stay in touch. Only one winner tho'.

xyzzzz__ (jdesouza), Sunday, 23 July 2006 18:12 (twelve years ago) link

There was a lot of people giving it the 'get in the hole' nonsense. I don't care enough about golf to care that much, but it really is annoying, boorish and bollocks, really.

Dave B (daveb), Sunday, 23 July 2006 21:02 (twelve years ago) link

eight months pass...
Woods has never won a major from behind...first time for everything?

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 8 April 2007 21:18 (twelve years ago) link

Two pretty poor birdie attempts by him on the first two holes though.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:16 (six hours ago) link

Rickie out of bounds at the first thus a double bogey followed by three straight birdies.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:22 (six hours ago) link

Man Fleetwood's putter is stone cold. This could be over fast.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:26 (six hours ago) link

BBC is showing 3 hours solid of netball at the same time as the conclusion of the Open is on. Not too happy about that, to be honest. Not too happy.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 15:58 (three hours ago) link

stream. or channel anyone

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:43 (three hours ago) link


Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:47 (three hours ago) link

JB Holmes +14 for the day. Ouch.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:50 (three hours ago) link


phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:59 (two hours ago) link

Cool, I can see the last hole at least.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:03 (two hours ago) link

Easy peasy in the end.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:13 (two hours ago) link

crowd was pretty quiet on that stream i presume a quirk of the coverage

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:17 (two hours ago) link

Anything but quiet on the radio!

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:21 (two hours ago) link

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