― A Nairn (moretap), Sunday, 13 October 2002 23:35 (twenty-one years ago) link
― A Nairn (moretap), Sunday, 13 October 2002 23:44 (twenty-one years ago) link
actually though, now i think about it, kinda cheating, but in alan bennet's book 'writing home' he quotes one man in a donkey jacket shouting at another likewise dressed in the street saying"look, there's NOTHING you can teach ME about road-sweeping..."
― piscesboy, Monday, 14 October 2002 01:03 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Sofa King Alternative (Sofa King Alternative), Monday, 14 October 2002 08:54 (twenty-one years ago) link
"Armed robbery's a very serious offence, you know!"
― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 14 October 2002 09:22 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 14 October 2002 10:53 (twenty-one years ago) link
"Yeah so i got the money, got all me mates round to celebrate... Fish and chips all round, strawberries and champagne, you know, the works!"
― STeve.n., Monday, 14 October 2002 14:19 (twenty-one years ago) link
He's my favourite person of the day.
― Graham (graham), Friday, 6 December 2002 16:35 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Simeon (Simeon), Friday, 6 December 2002 16:52 (twenty-one years ago) link
Mother: "If we wanted to see tigers we would've visited daddy at work"
― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 6 December 2002 23:38 (twenty-one years ago) link
― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 7 December 2002 00:48 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Saturday, 7 December 2002 01:39 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 7 December 2002 06:58 (twenty-one years ago) link
― David R. (popshots75`), Saturday, 7 December 2002 08:02 (twenty-one years ago) link
Me : Hey darlin' we got a lot in common...I'm not wearing a bra either.
My friend turned around knowing it was me, while the lady next to her turned around and said "You Pig!!!" and slapped me...I guess she thought I was talking to her, because she really wasn't wearing a bra...
― B, Saturday, 7 December 2002 08:17 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Douglas, Saturday, 7 December 2002 08:20 (twenty-one years ago) link
― maryann (maryann), Saturday, 7 December 2002 08:44 (twenty-one years ago) link
One sloppy drunk guy noticing the arrival of a packed police van, Central London, New Year's Eve, 1999.
― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Saturday, 7 December 2002 10:07 (twenty-one years ago) link
― dave q, Tuesday, 14 January 2003 19:55 (twenty-one years ago) link
― stevo (stevo), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 20:04 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 20:41 (twenty-one years ago) link
"Martin, why are you being so defensive?""Yeah, yeah...well why are you being so OFFENSIVE?"
― Michael Bourke, Tuesday, 14 January 2003 21:26 (twenty-one years ago) link
"today i feel like an indispensible cog in the machine"
― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago) link
1: hey2: what?1: you know who really needs a haircut?2: who?1: Michael Bolton.2: yeah, you're right.
― g.cannon (gcannon), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 22:48 (twenty-one years ago) link
― g.cannon (gcannon), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 22:49 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 14 January 2003 22:51 (twenty-one years ago) link
I slid under the table I was laughing so hard (and I was in a different booth)! Wish I could recall whether she took him home that night.
― LCD (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 15 January 2003 07:14 (twenty-one years ago) link
Woman behind bar:"You should try Gingko Bilboa, it's fantastic!"
Incredibly drunk guy covered in paint: "Will it give me a huge rectum?"
― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Sunday, 19 January 2003 20:50 (twenty-one years ago) link
Man 1: You listen here. If they made me a decent looking woman, you know what I'm saying, it'd be perfect. I already understand guys.Man 2: Fuck you are so right.
??!
― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 2 May 2003 21:38 (twenty years ago) link
― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Monday, 16 June 2003 12:12 (twenty years ago) link
― Josh (Josh), Monday, 16 June 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link
"If you knew anything about space or love, you would never ever fuck with Björk."
― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:27 (twenty years ago) link
― dave q, Monday, 16 June 2003 17:34 (twenty years ago) link
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 16 June 2003 17:50 (twenty years ago) link
― thomas de'aguirre (biteylove), Monday, 16 June 2003 20:49 (twenty years ago) link
― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 16 June 2003 21:44 (twenty years ago) link
ANTO 1: what are you up to this weekend?ANTO 2: ah, i thought i'd go down to later.ANTO 1: whaaa? you don't like dance music. why would you go there?ANTO 2: sure it'll be full of gee!("gee" = irish slang term for, er, female bits)― rener (rener), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 14:57 (twenty years ago) link
("gee" = irish slang term for, er, female bits)
― rener (rener), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 14:57 (twenty years ago) link
two antos (dublin equiv of geezers, maybe) on a bus, some years ago.
ANTO 1: what are you up to this weekend?ANTO 2: ah, i thought i'd go down to (popular rave club) later.ANTO 1: whaaa? you don't like dance music. why would you go there?ANTO 2: sure it'll be full of gee!
― rener (rener), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 14:58 (twenty years ago) link
Dependent entirely when the campus pub is open. And we're on summer hours now unfortunately.
― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 17 June 2003 21:24 (twenty years ago) link
1: my dad wanted me to sign his living will, but no way.2: but?1: no way, i'm not signing it. i figure it's god's choice. when it's his time to go that's up to god.2: but the medical bills. he could be like a vegetable like for years.1: he's got money. i just won't do that.2: it can be really expensive. it's do not resuscitate.1: it's outta my hands.2: ...1: he's been real into this kinda stuff since he shot himself.2: ?1: didn't i tell you that? he put a gun to his head three years ago. blew out his eye, didn't kill him. he's got one eye now, he's still up and around.3: oh my friend's dad did that. put a shotgun up under his chin, bssshh blew off the whole side of his face, but he lived.
― typo acapulco (gcannon), Friday, 14 November 2003 06:57 (twenty years ago) link
― typo acapulco (gcannon), Friday, 14 November 2003 06:58 (twenty years ago) link
― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 14 November 2003 07:13 (twenty years ago) link
"I'm a bad man, and sometimes a bad man's just got to be bad.""And sometimes you're just DUMB."
― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 14 November 2003 14:38 (twenty years ago) link
Rude Boy 1: D'you get me. It was fucking out of order!Rude Boy 2: Totally blood, disrespectful.RB1: Yeah, he's got no 'spect. I sent him out for fresh pasta and he comes back with dried!RB2: [shakes head sadly] Dried pasta's such a diss, man.
― Anna (Anna), Friday, 14 November 2003 14:55 (twenty years ago) link
― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:18 (twenty years ago) link
― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:22 (twenty years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:26 (twenty years ago) link
"Is he going into convulsions?"
"Not yet!"
I live next to the West Hollywood Russian mafia.
― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:26 (twenty years ago) link
A: They don't have any [insert female recording artist name here] CDs!!!!
B: Maybe they're sold-out.
A: Maybe they're just SEXIST!
I also heard them complaining that the store didn't have "enough" Sex Pistols records, whatever that means. Oh, Berkeley..
― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:27 (twenty years ago) link
― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:53 (twenty years ago) link
Sometimes side to side
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 November 2022 17:31 (one year ago) link
"I'm straight. I play 3lv3n C0nqu35t." (don't Google the un-Googleproofed version of that - it's some dodgy hentai game)On the bus, said by an 18 year old Andr3w T4t3 worshipping idiot. It took all the physical self control I had not to burst out laughing.
― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Monday, 16 January 2023 18:38 (one year ago) link
we decided that as well as the skiing in winter we had to do tennis in the summer so now we're looking for a tennis club for the boys near barcelona. nice and warm.
― ledge, Wednesday, 22 March 2023 23:07 (one year ago) link
in a bathroom:
"It's ok, I'm not offended that you're doing drugs in there"
― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal), Thursday, 23 March 2023 00:34 (one year ago) link
We're always in Birmingham for Ocean Colour Scene. It's the only reason we come to Birmingham.
― dear confusion the catastrophe waitress (ledge), Wednesday, 3 August 2022 14:09 (seven months ago)
Poor Birmingham. It doesnt deserve such slander.
― Saxophone Of Futility (Michael B), Thursday, 23 March 2023 10:19 (one year ago) link
Two girls behind me in high school math class: "Does it make me a slut if I'm only easy with one guy?"
― can i play with march madness? (PBKR), Thursday, 23 March 2023 13:03 (one year ago) link
middle-aged couple ahead of me in line at the grocery store: "are we getting enough toilet paper for this food?"― Simon H., Monday, March 11, 2019 4:22 PM (four years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Simon H., Monday, March 11, 2019 4:22 PM (four years ago) bookmarkflaglink
this is amazing
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 23 March 2023 13:08 (one year ago) link
my favorite one of these was at a show once in college, i think at irving plaza, armchair critic gives his verdict on the band to his buddy: "too much mumbo, not enough jumbo"
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 23 March 2023 13:09 (one year ago) link
He was in one of those Soviet places, not quite Soviet, like Turkey or Turkmenistan or one of those. We can’t get you home they said, but we can get you to Germany
They took him to Kazakhstan overnight, and everyone gave him a weird look. There was only one car.
Then they flew him to East Germany and from there to West Germany
― Tow Law City (cherry blossom), Friday, 24 March 2023 13:12 (one year ago) link
ah i missed a bit out
He was in one of those Soviet places, not quite Soviet, like Turkey or Turkmenistan or one of those. It was Hungary, thats it
We can’t get you home they said, but we can get you to Germany
― Tow Law City (cherry blossom), Friday, 24 March 2023 13:13 (one year ago) link
I was having to type so fast into textddit to try capture what I could, there was more but i couldnt get it fast enough
― Tow Law City (cherry blossom), Friday, 24 March 2023 13:16 (one year ago) link