your terrible ideas

Painstakingly researched 3-volume (800 pages each) biography of Subway mascot Jaded Fogel

That would be amazing because obviously, only the first volume would ever come out.

Fogel, Volume 1
Age 0-17: the Jaded Years

lol

Gameshow concept: Are You Smarter Than A Three Year Old?

Are You Taller Than A Three Year Old?

Investment marketing idea: in the mold of the BRIC nations (i.e. the idea that you should invest in Brazil, Russia, India and China as the hot emerging markets), promote the BENZ nations: Burma, Eritrea, New Zealand.

The PUKE nations: invest in Paraguay, Ukraine, Kenya and Estonia.

BLING: Bangladesh, Laos, Indonesia, Namibia and Gabon

The COCK nations: Cameroon, Oman, Chad, Kuwait.

I kind of wish I had a platform to set up fake portfolios and see how these would do against each other

i think google and yahoo let you do this.

I'm torn between trying to get my colleagues in the Warsaw office to include CRUMPERS (Croatia, Romania, Ukraine, Montenegro, Poland, Estonia, Russia, Serbia) or GRUMBLERS (Georgia, Romania, Ukraine, Montenegro, Bosnia, Latvia, Estonia, Russia, Serbia) in their 2013 strategy plan.

hahaha GRUMBLERS is awesome

An electronic device to reduce procrastination in the office. It attaches to the wall, and every half an hour (or less depending on the needs of your particular office) blares out a version of the Bee Gee's 'You Should Be Dancing', but with the lyrics changed to 'You Should Be Working'.

just read the lyrics to that song for the first time and realized it's *not really about dancing*

"printerest" -- a pinterest-style site for the prurient interest

"printerrest" - a plastic armrest for you to lean against while waiting for your slow-as-balls printer to print one bloody side of A4.

(could also have a built in screen that shows you stupid stuff currently being posted to pinterest)

"The Jersey Wire" -- a cross between Jersey Shore and The Wire.

That's all I got so far.

Film criticism that takes catering into account

A stand-up comedy duo called Piss & Vinegar, like Little & Large, but with jokes.

St. Ives Malt Liquor: a malt beverage with skin-beautifying properties

could also feature Burl Ives in the commercials.

I once had an idea for a '_____ For Dummies'-style series of basic explainer books called "What Part of _____ Do You Not Understand?"

reggae/jam band called "Fiscal Spliff"

Alphabetar - an immersive virtual-reality universe in which you place your children to help them learn spelling, phonics, and other basic skills

lol @ all 3 of these

A really bad Black Sabbath tribute band called Cack Sabbath.

start pronouncing and spelling Doritos as Deritos instead

start a super queer dub band where we only cover notable records in their entirety

Re-writing Pulp Fiction so that as well as being hitmen, Jules and Vincent are also calculus nerds.

Start a moving company called Juicy Brutes. The theme song is just like Juicy Fruit - "Juicy Brutes, they're gonna move ya! Juicy Brutes, they get right to ya! Juicy Brutes, they're really really really gonna mooooove ya!". I would make the moving brutes wear shorts that say "JUICY" across the butt

love it!

onesie that you can fill with hot liquid like a hot water bottle, optional straw attachment for drinking said liquid if you want to fill it with coffee or tea or something

summer version that you can fill with iced booze

"badger packs"

circa 2006 -- registering domain names that somehow combine two things I am interested in at the moment, like edamame and minimalism

Skrillex music videos done in the style of the Keystone Kops.

Jedward do a cover of 'Gangnam Style' called 'Jedward Style'.

that is almost certain to happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_deCkWqrbE

Over the Christmas holidays I very nearly did this. MEPHISTOPHELES' SPORK: An extreme metal band revolving around the throwing of cutlery down various flights of steps whilst shouting "SATAAAAN". The idea was to do this about 12 times and record an album.

there is a faint but unmistakable note of pride in that post and it is unwarranted.

Jedward do a cover of 'Gangnam Style' called 'Jedward Style'.

I have been threatening a mash-up with 'Gang Bang' by Black Lace called 'Gang Bang Style'. I'll probably do it in a couple of years, when nobody remembers what 'Gangnam Style' even is.

I'd get Jedward to do a cover of 'Agadoo', although I don't think they could manage the complexity of the dance.

me just now in the kitchen: "i wish i had tomato soup. i have a tomato, maybe i could mash it up and microwave it until it melts."

semi-educational cartoon show explicitly pitched at the kids of middle class parents, along the lines of the Muppet Babies but with vegetables, eg baby corn, baby carrot, baby beetroot etc

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Garden_Gang

Was gonna say

NSFW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gQFDjDPPHk
"Vegetable rights and peace!"